Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
BellaEyes
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Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
Isn't customary thoughts kinda old school now? What's wrong with a bride choosing who SHE wants as her bridesmaids? Why would you feel you HAVE to pick his sisters to be in the bridal party? Someone told me its customary and I am not so sure I agree with this.
I would want to pick my BM's if their my friends, sisters. People that I am close with not sisters of his that I am not even close with! Well one more than the other but still I am not expecting him to choose any of my uncles as any part of his groomsmen! I am saying this because I have no siblings and even if I did I don't think it's my place to tell him who he chooses as his groomsman.
This just rubs me the wrong way.
CLMon7906
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
honestly, i had never heard of such practice UNTIL i was engaged to FH. i would never insist that he have my brother (if i had one) as his groomsman. it's wacky to me.
palebride
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
I think it all depends on the relationship you and he have with his sisters.
Love4Eva
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
maybe im old-fashioned - but i think it is customary - and respectful of you to do it for your FH - if it was a cousin - FINE - but a brother or sister - i believe would have to be in the BP
BellaEyes
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
Posted by palebride
I think it all depends on the relationship you and he have with his sisters.
Yea.. exactly which I don't have a relationship with them really they are both teenagers and we don't even talk over the phone, etc...Anyway.. I better not say toooo much..
sr081906
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
Posted by BellaEyes
Isn't customary thoughts kinda old school now? What's wrong with a bride choosing who SHE wants as her bridesmaids? Why would you feel you HAVE to pick his sisters to be in the bridal party? Someone told me its customary and I am not so sure I agree with this.
I would want to pick my BM's if their my friends, sisters. People that I am close with not sisters of his that I am not even close with! Well one more than the other but still I am not expecting him to choose any of my uncles as any part of his groomsmen! I am saying this because I have no siblings and even if I did I don't think it's my place to tell him who he chooses as his groomsman.
This just rubs me the wrong way.
Politics my dear politics ...... I think many brides are 'urged' into getting the FSIL, cousins.. to be in their party.
Honestly... it's up to you!
I decided to only pick 1 MOH no BM... she is my best friend.
How did I explain it? You want them to enjoy the whole wedding without being bothered with the duties. Enjoy, relax and you will see the whole ceremony from the start.
kase21
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
i don't think it's customary. It's a nice gesture - but it's not a mandated practice. If you don't have a relationship with them, then it shouldn't be a big deal.
But some people get kind of funny about that stuff.
CLMon7906
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
in fact, i can assure you the ONLY reason FSIL and FBILs are in the wedding party is because of a wedding we attended (and FH was best man) in August 2005 and they used their siblings..but it should be pointed out that aside from us and the siblings, there were only 5 'friends' attending the wedding...why am i being asked to do this when i could live without her just because some other couple combined had 6 friends?
carlsbride
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
ETS-Just read that they are younger, then I don't think it would be weird if you didn't have them involved-Good Luck!
PrincessRose
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
It's not something you *have* to do, but it's something that's nice. I know my mom was very hurt that she was not asked to be a Bridesmaid in her younger brother's wedding and her brother was a GM. But she's mostly over it.
JandJ1224
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I am having FH sisters in the wedding party and he is having my brothers. I just think it seems like the right thing to do.
RadioLau
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
I wouldn't have felt comfortable not having my FSIL in the wedding but I wanted to anyway. I wouldn't call us really close but we are going to be family. It's your wedding though and if it is not something you want to do then you don't have to do it.
Soon2BeMrs2006
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
Posted by Love4Eva
maybe im old-fashioned - but i think it is customary - and respectful of you to do it for your FH - if it was a cousin - FINE - but a brother or sister - i believe would have to be in the BP
I agree
MrsWmson2be
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
I was struggling with this myself when I was picking my bridal party. MIL urged me to put both DH's sister and sister-in-law in the wedding party. I'm not really close with either of them, but since it was the right thing to do, and I didn't really have too many other friends I could ask anyway, I asked them both.
Although it may be troublesome for you to choose FH's sisters if you aren't close to them now...your family will always be your family, and FH's family will always be around for you. Also, the fact that you'll be able to show your children your wedding pictures and say 'Look at Aunt so and so all dressed up!' may be worth something to you in the long run. Honestly, your friends now may not be around for you later on down the road as people change, people move, situations change. I wouldn't ask them to be bm's because it's 'customary', but rather because you should consider the future. My parents' wedding album is filled with pictures of people they haven't spoken with in 25+ years whom I've never even met. But I love the pictures they have with my aunts and uncles (in their late teens, early 20s) dancing and standing outside the church.
MJDoc12
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
maybe i'm just a tacky rude beetch--but i could give a rat's azz what is considered 'customary' when it comes to my BP. IMO they represent the people who you are most close to and whom you want to stand up there on your side.
therefore you shouldn't HAVE to ask anyone to be a BM just cause it's 'customary' or people are pressuring you. it's not about them--it's about you and FH, and you shouldn't have to ask people you don't feel that close to, to be such a huge part of your day.
i'm breaking with tradition--FH's sisters will NOT be in my BP and i'm having a guy as one of my BM's (the p.c. term is a 'bridesman'). you have no idea how many raised eyebrows that got in my family--i told them all to deal with it. and that's exactly what they are doing.
JanuaryBride06
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smara
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NO... My FH sister is a b*tch, so she wasnt even considered for one of my BM.
CLMon7906
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
Posted by JanuaryBride06
One of my wedding regrets was asking SIL to be a bridesmaid. If I could go back, I'd never ask her. She didn't care and she's a rude - person. Don't worry about what's customary - do what's right for you.
my thoughts EXACTLY
FallBride05
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I did not ask my SIL's to be BM's. For a variety of reasons. I get along extreamly well with both of them. We just opted to have them be part of the bridal procession with their husbands (who were also not part of the bridal party) and stand under the chuppah with us. This way they were still included in the wedding.
SunBride07
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Re: Is it really customary to choose your FH sisters as your Bridemaids?
I didn't think so before I got engaged. I have no relationship with FSIL but FH will not hear of not asking her to be in the BP...I have been putting off asking her for months
