Is it tacky to help plan your own shower?

my parents are recently seperated and i was talking to my mom about a shower and she was getting a little nervous about paying for it. i told her to have it at the house if she wanted, i dont care. then she asked if i would want to help her plan it or if i would rather it be a surprise.

i dont really care either way but do you thin kits tacky to plan your own?

As someone who had to plan her ENTIRE shower herself (inc. pay for it) its not fun. I had to handle everything and i was miserable leading up to the day and when it came I was so happy when it was over.

I'd never suggest it to others.

I don't think it's tacky at all. I'm helping my mom pay for part of it and we just went to a couple of catering halls this weekend to select the one I liked.

I'm 30, I know what I like and my Mom respects that...to each their own.

well call me tacky then bc i organized my own... picked the place and date... i dont see it being a big deal

The planner in charge shouldn't be you, or even your relatives according to etiquette sources. The point is to avoid you planning a party enriching yourself. Your relatives are an extension of enriching the self.

Of course, as a party honoring you, the planners may want to consult you. And to keep relations smooth, get the input of relatives. But the invitation should not come from you or relatives.

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Posted by BoxOfRocks

The planner in charge shouldn't be you, or even your relatives according to etiquette sources. The point is to avoid you planning a party enriching yourself. Your relatives are an extension of enriching the self.

Of course, as a party honoring you, the planners may want to consult you. And to keep relations smooth, get the input of relatives. But the invitation should not come from you or relatives.

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thats pretty old-school etiquette now IMO

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by BoxOfRocks

The planner in charge shouldn't be you, or even your relatives according to etiquette sources. The point is to avoid you planning a party enriching yourself. Your relatives are an extension of enriching the self.

Of course, as a party honoring you, the planners may want to consult you. And to keep relations smooth, get the input of relatives. But the invitation should not come from you or relatives.

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thats pretty old-school etiquette now IMO

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LOL I agree

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by BoxOfRocks

The planner in charge shouldn't be you, or even your relatives according to etiquette sources. The point is to avoid you planning a party enriching yourself. Your relatives are an extension of enriching the self.

Of course, as a party honoring you, the planners may want to consult you. And to keep relations smooth, get the input of relatives. But the invitation should not come from you or relatives.

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thats pretty old-school etiquette now IMO

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LOL I agree

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I also agree. It's 2008, we don't need to follow antiquated rules anymore. Should the bride's family still pay for the entire wedding as well?

I planned most of my shower (mom and dad paid for it, and my bridal party took care of the games), and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by BoxOfRocks

The planner in charge shouldn't be you, or even your relatives according to etiquette sources. The point is to avoid you planning a party enriching yourself. Your relatives are an extension of enriching the self.

Of course, as a party honoring you, the planners may want to consult you. And to keep relations smooth, get the input of relatives. But the invitation should not come from you or relatives.

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thats pretty old-school etiquette now IMO

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Yeah sounds silly to me. I had a lot of input with my own bridal shower and knew about it. I dont think its tacky and if people do then they can eff themselves.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by BoxOfRocks

The planner in charge shouldn't be you, or even your relatives according to etiquette sources. The point is to avoid you planning a party enriching yourself. Your relatives are an extension of enriching the self.

Of course, as a party honoring you, the planners may want to consult you. And to keep relations smooth, get the input of relatives. But the invitation should not come from you or relatives.

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thats pretty old-school etiquette now IMO

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Yeah, I agree. I've been in a few weddings and not once was the BP asked to give the shower.. I helped out everytime, but things have changed. I am not planning my shower at all, but only bc I wanna have something I know nothing about a I trust my mom, sis, fmil. I don't think there is anything wrong with planning it.

thanks ladies. my mom is in a hard place right now and i think it would actually be fun to help her out, kind of like a mother daughter bonding.

im surprised to see how many girls knew about their own shower. i feel better now

I don't see why it would be a big deal.

Doesn't the bridal party usually help plan the bridal shower? My group of friends have always planned & payed for the party (with the help of the bride's mom) and somehow managed to keep them all a suprise.

I really don' t see the problem in planning your own though. If other people think its tacky, tough for them!

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Posted by CloudNine

thanks ladies. my mom is in a hard place right now and i think it would actually be fun to help her out, kind of like a mother daughter bonding.

im surprised to see how many girls knew about their own shower. i feel better now

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Thats exactly how I feel. Its a nice time to bond with your mother. I would totally plan my own if my mother would let me!

Not at all...I am helping my mom with some things (because she is clueless and has never planned a shower before) I picked out the menu and gvae her some favor ideas....I know she is doing a few things to surprise me & her friends are helping her with the games.
I have a friend who is planning her own...
Even tho alot of showers are surprises, everyone knows they're getting one..so there is no harm in having some input on the planning...
Mine is not a surprise by the way.. I helped pick the date :) knowing pictures will be taken, I wanted to make sure I am prepared! :)