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I am just starting to plan my wedding and I am strongly inclined to just do it with my mom. I know there is no way in hell I want his mom there with me when I look for my wedding dress, finally find my wedding dress and have my fittings. His mom is just not my cup of tea-she is pushy, abrasive and wants to be way more involved in my life than I feel necessary and she doesn't respect boundaries. My mom, on the other hand, is polite, loving and respectful of boundaries. I just don't feel the need to involve her in my special day, because I know she will cause trouble and drama. She already told me she can't wait to be 'one of the girls' because she hasn't daughters and she has already said she would be hurt if she doesn't come to my bachelorette party. Uh, hell no. FMILs don't come to bachelorette parties. They go to wedding showers, but I am not having one, just cause it isn't my style. Has anyone else been in this pickle?
you don't want to start this marriage off with a grudge. Why don't you invite her along to smaller things, like flowers but go in with pictures and ideas that you already have so she can't control the appt. I just think that because she wants to be involved so badly, if you don't involve her she will be very very hurt, you might regret it later.
Posted by AeroJenn
Posted by luvabul
FANGIRL, used to post practically the same exact thing you wrote, and than eventually she got kicked outta the site, did you makeup a new user name??
OMG I was thinking the SAME thing when I read the title of this post!!!![]()
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I wish my FMIL wanted to participate inw edding planning... guess its always greener on the other side.
Posted by stephanielyse
On one hand, this is your wedding and you should be able to plan it and celebrate it however you want, with people around you who will enhance the joy.
On the other hand, this is your FH's mother, your soon-to-be mother-in-law. She is about to become a part of your family. And she has no daughters to help through planning their own wedding.
I think it would be a nice effort on your part to include her in some of your wedding plans. You don't have to take her along to everything, but maybe she could go to your dress fitting, or you could take her to see the dress once you've picked it out. As for the BP, if you're having something that's not mom/MIL friendly, she shouldn't be there, but maybe you and your girlfriends could do dinner beforehand with both moms, so they could be part of the gang for a bit. I know my mom LOVED being included in my bachelorette party.
And on a positive note, at least she likes you and wants to be a part of your wedding! So many women have MILs from hell who want nothing to do with the wedding planning.
Good luck!
Picking out a dress is a personal thing and you need to be as comfortable as possible. If FMIL makes you uncomfortable then she should not be there. But you should include her in other things like your shower, your eparty if you have one, or any other girly things like DIY's. She is a part of your family now and you should include her where you can!
Posted by wishlist
I am just starting to plan my wedding and I am strongly inclined to just do it with my mom. I know there is no way in hell I want his mom there with me when I look for my wedding dress, finally find my wedding dress and have my fittings. His mom is just not my cup of tea-she is pushy, abrasive and wants to be way more involved in my life than I feel necessary and she doesn't respect boundaries. My mom, on the other hand, is polite, loving and respectful of boundaries. I just don't feel the need to involve her in my special day, because I know she will cause trouble and drama. She already told me she can't wait to be 'one of the girls' because she hasn't daughters and she has already said she would be hurt if she doesn't come to my bachelorette party. Uh, hell no. FMILs don't come to bachelorette parties. They go to wedding showers, but I am not having one, just cause it isn't my style. Has anyone else been in this pickle?
Yeah, my mom is coming to my bachelorette party-she is my MOH. Already had the bridesmaid luncheon. Didn't know that FMILs were supposed to be invited to that.
Posted by wishlist
Yeah, my mom is coming to my bachelorette party-she is my MOH. Already had the bridesmaid luncheon. Didn't know that FMILs were supposed to be invited to that.
Posted by july06bride
Posted by wishlist
Yeah, my mom is coming to my bachelorette party-she is my MOH. Already had the bridesmaid luncheon. Didn't know that FMILs were supposed to be invited to that.
It is not what is 'suppossed ' to happen necessarily... but it's just nice to do
I by NO means am trying to be confrontational when I say this- to anyone at all so Take my advice with a grain of salt- but having been with my now Dh for almost 7 years and having planned a wedding already... I have some thoughts on this-
One day I might have a son- and I will want to be included in his wedding- I would hate for his soon to be wife to not include me in certain parts of the planning-I will be excited for him as well! I will understand that the bride will want to do certain things with JUSt her mother- BUT I would also be hurt if my soon to be daughter in law excluded me from basically everything.
those who hate their FMILS- I am not saying you have to love her---but it will make life less complicated if you at least TRY to give her a chance. Remember, she gave birth to your FH, if only that at all- you should thank her!She raised him to be the man that he is today, the one you fell in love with. She might be crazy, she might be pushy, she might be plain bitc*y but you have to tolerate her...
I have so much more to say on this topic- but I won't...
Hey fathers play just a big a role in raising their sons as the mothers do. I think people forget that and make it all about the FMIL.
Posted by wishlist
I am just starting to plan my wedding and I am strongly inclined to just do it with my mom. I know there is no way in hell I want his mom there with me when I look for my wedding dress, finally find my wedding dress and have my fittings. His mom is just not my cup of tea-she is pushy, abrasive and wants to be way more involved in my life than I feel necessary and she doesn't respect boundaries. My mom, on the other hand, is polite, loving and respectful of boundaries. I just don't feel the need to involve her in my special day, because I know she will cause trouble and drama. She already told me she can't wait to be 'one of the girls' because she hasn't daughters and she has already said she would be hurt if she doesn't come to my bachelorette party. Uh, hell no. FMILs don't come to bachelorette parties. They go to wedding showers, but I am not having one, just cause it isn't my style. Has anyone else been in this pickle?
Well I'm not including my FMIL in anything. If she wants to help him out in his things then that's all her. But I don't feel like I owe her anything. And the man the my FH is today is thanks to me!!! When I came into his life I pushed him to do something with himself she never pushed him for anything!!! She was perfectly happy letting him do whatever he wanted instead of trying to steer him in the right path. And since she's not paying for ANY of the wedding she has NO say!!!
Posted by jny4eva
Well I'm not including my FMIL in anything. If she wants to help him out in his things then that's all her. But I don't feel like I owe her anything. And the man the my FH is today is thanks to me!!! When I came into his life I pushed him to do something with himself she never pushed him for anything!!! She was perfectly happy letting him do whatever he wanted instead of trying to steer him in the right path. And since she's not paying for ANY of the wedding she has NO say!!!
I planned my wedding with my mother. My MIL was not involved with the planning process at all. Guess what, she came to the wedding and had a great time. Nobody lost sleep over it and I am not hated.
See! I thought people were making too big a deal of FMIL being involved in planning and saying she would hate you if she wasn't helping out in the wedding. Now I don't feel so bad
Posted by wishlist
See! I thought people were making too big a deal of FMIL being involved in planning and saying she would hate you if she wasn't helping out in the wedding. Now I don't feel so bad
