So I've only been angaged a week but I really feel bad for my poor fiancee because I haven't exactly been pleasant lol. We has originally wanted a small intimate destination wedding. It was between disney world and Antigua. Unfortunately, I have a sick family member who is in a wheel chair and after discussing it with my family they decided it would be too much for her to travel. I still don't understand since the most she would be there is overnight. So now we are stuck with having a normal wedding here. People are saying have the church wedding but go out to a small restaurant or something after but I feel stupid doing that. I'm gonna sit there in my wedding dress? We started looking at halls and figure we will have between 60-90 people. I do not look forward to planning this at all and everyones noticed how unhappy I've been. I keep looking and hearing about old friends of mine, hs people having these huge weddings and is this the norm these days. Sorry but I think spending 70 grand and having a bridal party with 8 people in it is just stupid. The wedding I'm going to next week is costing 80 grand with 300 people. My financee is thinking I don't want to marry him bc of how unhappy I've been. I have to add I work full time and am in grad school also working on my thesis so I'm under alot of stress right now. So can I have a normal church ceremony and not a normal reception at a big hall? Am I gonna look wierd having at a hall with not 300 people. I don't even want a bridal party and really eveytime someome mentions something about this wedding I feel like screaming shut up. We could always just go to disney, get married and have something after when we get back but then is there gonna be drama bc no people not being there
marrymybestfriend
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Posted by Iluvpoodles
. Sorry but I think spending 70 grand and having a bridal party with 8 people in it is just stupid.
this is pretty much 85 % of the people on here.
i know we are having 25 people in our wedding party
Rosalind_75
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
dont feel bad about wanting a small wedding. we are looking to have a small one too 125max we are paying for it and want it to be a fun time with our family and friends we are doing our best to keep the cost low
rocketsummer17
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Hmmm this is tricky...First thing though I honestly think you need to udnerstand where your family is coming from in regards to the ill family memeber. Any travel for someone wheel chair bound and fragile is very stressful on the person, and the person obviously wants to be there to celebrate your wedding day for you...A wedding is about a couple sharing their love with everyone and celebrating in it, is it really worth it to offend your family bc you want to be married in Disney?
Why not instead of having a destination wedding have a small reception at a local catering hall? Check out Milleridge Carraige House, it holds up to 100 people, the food is GREAT the service is fantastic and the price is right...You dont have to have a huge wedding if you dont want to...Sometimes small and intimate is nice. If you really want to do something destination, maybe try to plan something for your first anniversary, go somewhere and renew your vows. That way your family was able to enjoy your wedding day with you and you also get the 'destination wedding' you wanted...
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Plenty of women on here are having small weddings (less than 100 people) We're having just about 100. We're probably not doing a bridal party either... just an MOH and Best Man. Plenty of halls will accommodate your minimum you may have to be flexible with the time of day and which weekend day it is... but it can be done! Don't stress.
AngeeM
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Of course you can have a normal wedding. There are a lot of halls that have smaller rooms or lower minimums. You just have to do some leg work. One of them is Sans Souci and I believe. Just do some research and you can find the perfect place for you. Or maybe you can have a destination wedding with just your immediate family, like mom dad and siblings and then come back and have an informal reception. I've seen that before and it was really nice. Just do what feels right to you. You can have both if you want.
kimmaymb20
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
I only plan to have about 125 at my wedding. I also am not having a huge wedding party. I really think sometimes it is so much nicer when you have a smaller wedding so the people you really love are there to share it with you. Somtimes a big wedding just doenst feel cozy. There are plenty of places on LI that can accomiate the size of your wedding.
soontobecruz
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Basically I think you and ur FI should have the wedding you both dream of having it is after all your day. However I don't think calling people 'stupid' for having their dream wedding is appropriate either.
20mrsc10
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
were doing a small wedding too--even though i do have 8 people total in the bridal party
but there's a lot of halls that will have under 100 minimum, especially if you do it on a fri or sun night
you also might want to look into some places that do packages including everything--i just got one in the mail for thatched cottage and its affordable
good luck!
mosh424
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Posted by rocketsummer17
Why not instead of having a destination wedding have a small reception at a local catering hall? Check out Milleridge Carraige House, it holds up to 100 people, the food is GREAT the service is fantastic and the price is right QUOTE]
I totally agree FM me for any info I had my e-party there in September and highly recommend it!!!!
JenBill61210
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
you don't need to have a big blowout wedding with 300 guests... there are many venues on LI that will accomodate smaller minimums (swan club, fox hollow, westbury manor are a few i can think of). I myself only guaranteed 125. This was also because i am having a saturday afternoon reception (which can help in decreasing both the minimum for a specific room and the price). If you're willing to be flexible, it can definitely happen!
dfw343
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
We said same thing. Now it's up to 100. but that's Ok. Our BP is his two girls and two nephews. So much easier! And cute! If there were no kids in family, we wouldn't have BP. Too much drama and money.
My budget was 20k max. So far, we figure we are in 20-25k figure depending on who we get for flowers/DJ. we are having an early Sunday (exactly one year today!) wedding to cut cost. The only place we splurged was photography because it was really important to us. We decided no video and just let friends capture ceremony, etc (everyone I know never looks at their video).
I got my dress under 1k, I plan to get used accessories and not so expensive shoes (it's ONE day and no one sees them)we are doing candle centerpieces instead of flowers, no favors, friend is designing my invites:just have to pay for printing, etc...
Just try to compromise...
JACK808
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
It all comes down to what is important to you. If you can live without the guilt of your sick family member not being present for your wedding, by all means have your destination wedding. My dad was very ill and wheelchair bound at the time of my wedding. I had to compromise quite a bit when planning bc of this, but my # 1 priority was always his comfort. I had a church ceremony, with a reception of about 100 people immediately following. The only members of my BP were my MOH and the BM, and spent nowhere near 70k. To me, what makes a wedding truly special is the celebration of family and friends, doesn't matter where it is or how much you spend on it.
NYYankeeGirl72
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
First and foremost.....
I was bummed out like you and thought I would not have a wonderful wedding if it was not a big one...I also have been on a tight budget because both FH and I are paying for it. Neither of our parents have the means to give us $$$.
That being said I have to tell you that not only am I getting everything I wanted, but right now with all major vendors booked I am at about $10,000. You would be amazed at the vendors I got...The Swan Club, Pedestals, In the Mix DJ's, Royalty Limo, & Nick G Photography.
I am having about 75-85 guests. And to be honest, they are truly my family and closest friends that are super excited about going to my wedding. And I am totally stoked. I may not get all the things that you can get for a wedding, but I got all the things that I wanted: a great beautiful RH, with good food, a reputable florist, a truly fun DJ company where I amalso getting uplighting (u thought only big fancy weddings would have uplighting...wrong!!), a very reputable limo company and a photographer that by word of mouth here on LIW, has turned out to be very reasonably priced and will be with me for my entire day: no overtime charges!!
So, in reality don't get bummed you just need to ask those brides on here who are on budgets and you will be surprised that you can get the wedding of your dreams with beer pockets.
I hope this has been helpful and if you have any questions about anything, be sure to ask. I am always willing to help out a fellow bride!!
AdriandSteve
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
I agree with what everyone else has said. There are DEF DEF places on LI to have a small wedding.
I also REALLY feel for you with going to grad school full time and doing your thesis. (Been there and it ***** lol) Perhaps... although it would cost more $, hiring a wedding planner would be a great option!. Just tell her what you want, have FH tell them what he wants and let them do the planning so u don't have to worry about it. Just make sure you go with a good and reputable company which you can def find on here.
MrsSoto
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
I think a lot of these girls have good ideas...also There are also cocktail receptions which some girls have spoken about on here. Its not a formal sit down dinner, its passed horsdoeuvres and drinks which keeps down cost- Im sure you could make it for only 2 hours or so as well.
I know the city is expensive but maybe this would be a nice option if you dont want a 'typical LI' wedding. There are like rooftop restaurants/bars where you could have the cocktail reception or lofts.
good luck...btw, I just read in brides review about a girl who had a very nice wedding for less than 12K...maybe check it out
SummerBride10
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
There are so many people on here that aren't having a huge 300 people reception. Many girls are having only 100 people.
Our minimum is 160 people..we'll probably only have about that many.
Espo22
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Posted by marrymybestfriend
Posted by Iluvpoodles
. Sorry but I think spending 70 grand and having a bridal party with 8 people in it is just stupid.
this is pretty much 85 % of the people on here.
i know we are having 25 people in our wedding party
Yeah i understand it might not be what you want but i wouldnt call someone elses decision stupid, its just what they want to do, the same way you wouldnt want to be called stupid for what you want to do. We had a big guestlist but before anybody judges they should realize others have different situations, and before judging should realize everyone is different. DH comes from a HUUUGE family, just his family alone were at least 100ppl at our wedding, and that was with us cutting off some ppl from his family bc was getting out of control. And no it wasnt family members he rarely sees. They all keep in contact, go to all family events and see eachother. DH has 20-something first cousins who are ALL married(dh and his brother are the youngest) so just his cousins alone with their spouses were 50 ppl. If we wouldve decided to stay in the 100's guestlist that would've meant i didnt invite anybody lol.
And i had 9 girls and dh had 11 guys, dh has a big group of friends that he is very close to and grew up with and they all see eachother all the time. I had 2 cousins and the rest friends and the group of girls i asked, we all grew up together and all hang out together and are close.
So maybe its not for you, which hey is fine bc we all are different but different doesn't mean stupid.
Now to answer your question, there are tons of halls that have smaller rooms. INFACT you wouldnt be able to book a room that holds 300 ppl bc catering halls require a minimum for you to guarantee so they wouldn't put you in a big room like that. They would put you in a room that holds the amount of ppl you are having. And not all halls hold 300ppl, we had to really look around bc we needed a hall that held that many ppl and it wasnt that easy. You can definitely find something for what you want. I wouldnt even pay attention to what your friends with huge weddings did, so what its what they did and you will do your own thing. You can find a venue that will accomodate your guestlist and you can have a very small bp and do things the way you want.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
Opps take that back. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I should rephrase it as I don't see it as a necessity to have a wedding like that.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Is or has anyone not had a big reception?
No I defentially need to have her in attendance. It is my grandmother who is like a second mother to me, raised me for half my childhood, lived with her, etc so of all the people who need to be there, she would. I guess and and my fiancee will have to have one here and make the best of it.
