is this bridezilla of me ...

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

i dont think your being bridezilla at all
I am going through the same shiitt with my BM's
one wants strapless, that same one doesnt want any bows and she also likes pastels, so when i tell her im doing a dark plum aubergine she is not happy and i can tell.

I havnt picked my dress yet, so i havnt even decided theirs yet. but i feel i will be posting something venting in the near future

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it amazes me that people would do that ... its not her day its yours!!! ... my responds would be well when you get married you can have pastel color as you BM dresses

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Posted by Snowflake08

i think it really depends
i mean, i understand its your day, but they should feel comfortable as well
i really think its important to take people's body types (weight, chest) into consideration

i would NEVER want to make anyone feel upset or self-conscious that day

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I agree...I know i wouldn't like to be forced to not only wear something I don't like but on top of it i have to pay for it...Now if they all like it then that is different but whenever the girls are told they have to do something they do not want to do then they shouldn't have to pay for it, if the bride wants it that bad then she can. But this is if they hate it...have you showed your girls the dress? maybe they'll like it.

I also know that if i was in a bp of a good friends wedding, i would want to look nice for her wedding and be comfortable

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Posted by MikeandJess

with 7 bm's, everyone has complaints, it is very annoying and everyone's style is so different. I decided that I will pick the dress, have the girls try it on and see what they think. One of the girls has a very large chest, if she is not comfortable with a strapless dress of course I will not make her wear one but if it's something stupid like they don't like the color I will tell them that when they get married they can choose any color they want.

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well just tell them to add straps then to that dress

I showed them 6-8 dresses, and then after everyone tries them on and sees what fits best and what everyone likes then we'll pick that. If they have any suggestions they can show me something they like, if i hate it of course i am gonna say no...If I hate it or if the girls hate it then its a no.

My MOH and a BM LOOOVED 1 of the dresses i showed them and i went to RK bridal with my bm and tried it on and absolutely loved it. My MOH had said it was her favorite from the pics i sent and that she loves that dress.

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Posted by Espo22

I showed them 6-8 dresses, and then after everyone tries them on and sees what fits best and what everyone likes then we'll pick that. If they have any suggestions they can show me something they like, if i hate it of course i am gonna say no...If I hate it or if the girls hate it then its a no.

My MOH and a BM LOOOVED 1 of the dresses i showed them and i went to RK bridal with my bm and tried it on and absolutely loved it. My MOH had said it was her favorite from the pics i sent and that she loves that dress.

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Yeah that is what I did. I showed my BM's all the dresses I was looking at and then I finally found the one I loved and they all loved it. Some tried it on and really liked it. So I was lucky. I know my BM's said whatever I want but I do want them to be comfortable and for them to look good in it.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Snowflake08

i think it really depends
i mean, i understand its your day, but they should feel comfortable as well
i really think its important to take people's body types (weight, chest) into consideration

i would NEVER want to make anyone feel upset or self-conscious that day

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I agree...I know i wouldn't like to be forced to not only wear something I don't like but on top of it i have to pay for it...Now if they all like it then that is different but whenever the girls are told they have to do something they do not want to do then they shouldn't have to pay for it, if the bride wants it that bad then she can. But this is if they hate it...have you showed your girls the dress? maybe they'll like it.

I also know that if i was in a bp of a good friends wedding, i would want to look nice for her wedding and be comfortable

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i havent really made a solid desion yet on what i want ... i was just curious if i do start hearing complaints if it would be bridzella for me to be like this is what oyu are wearing thats it ... if you really dont like it then step down ... my thoery is even if i was in a wedding and i dont like it i am goin go pay for it and if i really didnt want to i would just not be in the party ... besidedsthe chances of me wearing the dress again is slim to none ... i am in a wedding and the dress i have to wear is nice but i honestly i dont see myself wearing it ever again i think it would be to much to waear to another wedding or anywere else ... so it wouldnt of made a diffrence if i liked it or hated it .... eitehr way i am wearing it for one day ...

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Posted by Espo22

well just tell them to add straps then to that dress

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yup that is what I plan on doing but I was just trying to give an example of not feeling comfortable it doesn't necessarily have to be the strapless issue

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Snowflake08

i think it really depends
i mean, i understand its your day, but they should feel comfortable as well
i really think its important to take people's body types (weight, chest) into consideration

i would NEVER want to make anyone feel upset or self-conscious that day

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I agree...I know i wouldn't like to be forced to not only wear something I don't like but on top of it i have to pay for it...Now if they all like it then that is different but whenever the girls are told they have to do something they do not want to do then they shouldn't have to pay for it, if the bride wants it that bad then she can. But this is if they hate it...have you showed your girls the dress? maybe they'll like it.

I also know that if i was in a bp of a good friends wedding, i would want to look nice for her wedding and be comfortable

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i havent really made a solid desion yet on what i want ... i was just curious if i do start hearing complaints if it would be bridzella for me to be like this is what oyu are wearing thats it ... if you really dont like it then step down ... my thoery is even if i was in a wedding and i dont like it i am goin go pay for it and if i really didnt want to i would just not be in the party ... besidedsthe chances of me wearing the dress again is slim to none ... i am in a wedding and the dress i have to wear is nice but i honestly i dont see myself wearing it ever again i think it would be to much to waear to another wedding or anywere else ... so it wouldnt of made a diffrence if i liked it or hated it .... eitehr way i am wearing it for one day ...

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well i suggest just showing them the dress and seeing what they say rather than telling them 'this is what you're wearing and that is it' honestly even if i loved the dress if one of my friends spoke to me like that i would be upset and probably say something just bc of that comment not even the dress.

ANother thing is i wouldn't say if you dont like it or want to spend the money then step down...Then you are basically picking the dress over your friends, i think its more important to have your close friends by your side rather than that one dress. Again if someone said that to me thats what i would think...i would step down just for that because then i feel that unless i spend money on a certain thing im not good enough to be in the bridal party, the fact that im her friend should be reason enough and how can a good friend even want me to step down, i must not be that important to begin with.

I want BM's who i am close with and want by my side throughout all this and day of. To be there with me in the morning getting ready and being there for me. I dont want to pick bm's based on what they'll wear

Not attacking you, i understand if you have your heart set on a particular dress, but look at it from their perspective

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by Espo22

well just tell them to add straps then to that dress

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yup that is what I plan on doing but I was just trying to give an example of not feeling comfortable it doesn't necessarily have to be the strapless issue

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see i am not a big fan of strapless dresses (though it seems like every wedding dress i like strapless so i may have to just suck it up)i constanly feel i am pulling up the dress and I have to wear a straples dress for my friends wedding and i didnt comlain or say anything i just said if this is what you like then thats what ill wear ... i dont mind suffering (even though i really woulnt say i am suffering) for a day to make her happy!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Snowflake08

i think it really depends
i mean, i understand its your day, but they should feel comfortable as well
i really think its important to take people's body types (weight, chest) into consideration

i would NEVER want to make anyone feel upset or self-conscious that day

---

I agree...I know i wouldn't like to be forced to not only wear something I don't like but on top of it i have to pay for it...Now if they all like it then that is different but whenever the girls are told they have to do something they do not want to do then they shouldn't have to pay for it, if the bride wants it that bad then she can. But this is if they hate it...have you showed your girls the dress? maybe they'll like it.

I also know that if i was in a bp of a good friends wedding, i would want to look nice for her wedding and be comfortable

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i havent really made a solid desion yet on what i want ... i was just curious if i do start hearing complaints if it would be bridzella for me to be like this is what oyu are wearing thats it ... if you really dont like it then step down ... my thoery is even if i was in a wedding and i dont like it i am goin go pay for it and if i really didnt want to i would just not be in the party ... besidedsthe chances of me wearing the dress again is slim to none ... i am in a wedding and the dress i have to wear is nice but i honestly i dont see myself wearing it ever again i think it would be to much to waear to another wedding or anywere else ... so it wouldnt of made a diffrence if i liked it or hated it .... eitehr way i am wearing it for one day ...

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well i suggest just showing them the dress and seeing what they say rather than telling them 'this is what you're wearing and that is it' honestly even if i loved the dress if one of my friends spoke to me like that i would be upset and probably say something just bc of that comment not even the dress.

ANother thing is i wouldn't say if you dont like it or want to spend the money then step down...Then you are basically picking the dress over your friends, i think its more important to have your close friends by your side rather than that one dress. Again if someone said that to me thats what i would think...i would step down just for that because then i feel that unless i spend money on a certain thing im not good enough to be in the bridal party, the fact that im her friend should be reason enough and how can a good friend even want me to step down, i must not be that important to begin with.

I want BM's who i am close with and want by my side throughout all this and day of. To be there with me in the morning getting ready and being there for me. I dont want to pick bm's based on what they'll wear

Not attacking you, i understand if you have your heart set on a particular dress, but look at it from their perspective

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welll i wouldnt put it that way exactly i am just saying if it came to that big of an argument they could just step down ... i want my close firends by me but at the same time they are my close friends and they should respect what i want just like i would do for them ... i am just saying me as a person would never argue with them over the dress i would just get what they wanted and i feel thats how they should be for me ... its my day why shouldnt i get what i want??

I dont know, i just also personally want my girls to look hott that day too...When i saw how excited 2 of them got over the dress we might pick, i loved seeing that...My friend was saying how she can't wait to wear it, it was great to hear.


I know how they are when they go to weddings in general, everyone wants to look nice, pick a great dress, out of all times i would think they want to look nice for their friends wedding.

Plus dont stress over this now if they haven't even seen the dress yet, they might love it and you might not have to deal with this.

ALSO FOR ALL THE GIRLS ON HERE: Remember that the price does not include alterations, which is usually about $60-80

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Posted by Espo22

I dont know, i just also personally want my girls to look hott that day too...When i saw how excited 2 of them got over the dress we might pick, i loved seeing that...My friend was saying how she can't wait to wear it, it was great to hear.


I know how they are when they go to weddings in general, everyone wants to look nice, pick a great dress, out of all times i would think they want to look nice for their friends wedding.

Plus dont stress over this now if they haven't even seen the dress yet, they might love it and you might not have to deal with this.

ALSO FOR ALL THE GIRLS ON HERE: Remember that the price does not include alterations, which is usually about $60-80

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oh yeah i forgot about alterations ... i am not really stressing anyway ... when it comes down to it i dont think any of my BM are going to complain i was just wondering if it was bridzella of me to not let them choose cause i see so many girls allow thier BM to choose the dress they are going to wear and i didnt want to do that ... the only one that might actually say anything would be my MOH but we have a relationship were i can be like to bad you wearing it and the end she will be like ok its your day ... at first she was like i have to have this type but then she was like its your day i'll wear waht you want ... thanks for your input though i do appreciate it

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Posted by blu6385

ok all my BMs are paying for thier own dress and i am not picking any dress over 160 but i am not giving any of them a chocie ... i feel its my day and they should wear what i want and waht i like!!! is that bridezilla of me??? ... i know i would wear whatever a bride told me to wear even if i didnt like it cause its her day not mine!!!

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I dont think it the bridezilla in you, we all face these problems., how can you make everyone happy...YOU CANT...I know how it goes., although all my girls loved the dress I picked., I know my sis is not going to fit like the rest of the BP.
Im going separatley with her to pick a diff dress., same color. Compromise wont hurt.

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by blu6385

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Snowflake08

i think it really depends
i mean, i understand its your day, but they should feel comfortable as well
i really think its important to take people's body types (weight, chest) into consideration

i would NEVER want to make anyone feel upset or self-conscious that day

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I agree...I know i wouldn't like to be forced to not only wear something I don't like but on top of it i have to pay for it...Now if they all like it then that is different but whenever the girls are told they have to do something they do not want to do then they shouldn't have to pay for it, if the bride wants it that bad then she can. But this is if they hate it...have you showed your girls the dress? maybe they'll like it.

I also know that if i was in a bp of a good friends wedding, i would want to look nice for her wedding and be comfortable

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i havent really made a solid desion yet on what i want ... i was just curious if i do start hearing complaints if it would be bridzella for me to be like this is what oyu are wearing thats it ... if you really dont like it then step down ... my thoery is even if i was in a wedding and i dont like it i am goin go pay for it and if i really didnt want to i would just not be in the party ... besidedsthe chances of me wearing the dress again is slim to none ... i am in a wedding and the dress i have to wear is nice but i honestly i dont see myself wearing it ever again i think it would be to much to waear to another wedding or anywere else ... so it wouldnt of made a diffrence if i liked it or hated it .... eitehr way i am wearing it for one day ...

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well i suggest just showing them the dress and seeing what they say rather than telling them 'this is what you're wearing and that is it' honestly even if i loved the dress if one of my friends spoke to me like that i would be upset and probably say something just bc of that comment not even the dress.

ANother thing is i wouldn't say if you dont like it or want to spend the money then step down...Then you are basically picking the dress over your friends, i think its more important to have your close friends by your side rather than that one dress. Again if someone said that to me thats what i would think...i would step down just for that because then i feel that unless i spend money on a certain thing im not good enough to be in the bridal party, the fact that im her friend should be reason enough and how can a good friend even want me to step down, i must not be that important to begin with.

I want BM's who i am close with and want by my side throughout all this and day of. To be there with me in the morning getting ready and being there for me. I dont want to pick bm's based on what they'll wear

Not attacking you, i understand if you have your heart set on a particular dress, but look at it from their perspective

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welll i wouldnt put it that way exactly i am just saying if it came to that big of an argument they could just step down ... i want my close firends by me but at the same time they are my close friends and they should respect what i want just like i would do for them ... i am just saying me as a person would never argue with them over the dress i would just get what they wanted and i feel thats how they should be for me ... its my day why shouldnt i get what i want??

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I understand your point, but like i said dont stress yet about arguements until they see it. They might love it just as much as you do.

Also if i saw my friend wanted something i hated then yeah you just have to work with it. My whole thing was about telling them its what you want and they have to get it or step down

Honestly - when someone asks me to be in a wedding I know a few things. ( An implicit contract if you will):

1. I will have to buy a dress that the bride chooses in a color that the bride chooses.

2. I will have to pay for that dress which can range from $100 to $350 - and i DID pay $350 for a BM dress.

3. I will have to pay for alterations, shoes, undergarments and accesories.

4. I will have to pay for my hair to get done and possibly make up if the bride insists.

5. I will have to take time out of my life to attend fittings or just do 'wedding things' with the bride.

6. I will have to pay for a shower gift, a bachelorette party and a wedding gift.

7. I will have to take time out to go to the shower, bach party and wedding.

Honestly, if I don't feel like doing all of these things, I would say no. It is nice that you girls want your BP to pick their own dresses and that is awesome of you.

Of course, the bride must be reasonable. She has to pick something that would flatter everybody and try to be considerate.

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Posted by ant n tilde

Honestly - when someone asks me to be in a wedding I know a few things. ( An implicit contract if you will):

1. I will have to buy a dress that the bride chooses in a color that the bride chooses.

2. I will have to pay for that dress which can range from $100 to $350 - and i DID pay $350 for a BM dress.

3. I will have to pay for alterations, shoes, undergarments and accesories.

4. I will have to pay for my hair to get done and possibly make up if the bride insists.

5. I will have to take time out of my life to attend fittings or just do 'wedding things' with the bride.

6. I will have to pay for a shower gift, a bachelorette party and a wedding gift.


7. I will have to take time out to go to the shower, bach party and wedding.

Honestly, if I don't feel like doing all of these things, I would say no. It is nice that you girls want your BP to pick their own dresses and that is awesome of you.

Of course, the bride must be reasonable. She has to pick something that would flatter everybody and try to be considerate.

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well said ... and i cant believe you payed 350 for a BM dress ... you are truly a good BM ...

lol it was Vera Wang!