Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I am TOYING with the idea of hiring my friends dad to come to the wedding and just be there. Hes a retired cop and can step in if anything happens.

I am looking at my guest list and I am thinking there might be some problems when alcohol gets into certain peoples systems.....or when certain people see certain other people.

Is this crazy? What do you think? Any experiences?

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

OMG! Are you that worried? Maybe you should talk to the people who may be a problem - ahead of time??

FH has to talk to his BM because of his drinking - its out of control sometimes.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I went to a friend's wedding a couple years back at Oheka.. her brother got into a fight with someone there.. It was at the after-party.. not sure what it was over.. But, I guess by that time- everyone was sufficiently drunk.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I don't think that's a bad idea at all. One of my friends did the same thing, and I know it gave her family peace of mind.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

Wow I dont know what to say. Can you actually hire this guy to do this? Are yo sure they don't have some kind of oath they have to make about not using thier skills outside of work as a cop. I don't know.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

We had them at our church and our reception not really for a fight but just for a bitter person who swore to me she would ruin our day. I didn't think much of it, but my parents had some family friends who are parole officers who sat in the last row of the church just in case. It didn't even phase me until I saw them on the video. They waited till after I came in and snuck into the church as my father gave me away. No one even saw them come in because everyone was staring up front. Everything went perfectly.

I was also in another wedding where they had 'help guests' the MIL had disowned her son because of the impending marriage and she also turned his sisters on him. The mother said she would ruin the wedding if it was the last thing she could do. Needless to say certain male guests were given her picture and the sisters and all problems were taking care of outside the church. His mom was left by his father right after she had him and she just had a hatred for all married men and now that her son was becoming one she felt the need to stop it. The bride had no clue this was happening but the bridal party was all informed.

I don't think it is crazy alot of times the groomsmen become the people who look out for trouble and I think it is better to have someone who isn't a 'guest'

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

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Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I told my hall to be on alert for my DH's parents, newly divorced. A few friends were also on the look out. But everyone behaved, tho I see my FIL made a few faces in some proofs.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I think it's a good idea. At a friend of mine's wedding and one of the bridesmaid's boyfriends beat her up (the bridesmaid) and the cops were called.

I know it's not common place for fights, but we have no control over our guests, expecially when you add in alcohol.

I will have TONS of cops at my wedding....because FH is a cop and so are 80% of his friends!

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

Not a bad idea at all. Especially if it makes you less stressed out and takes away some of the worry.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

It isnt crazy to think about at all, especially if you really think there could be a problem between people. Anything to keep the peace on the big day!

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

Not a bad idea at all. I'm considering it, too.

If nothing else, I'll ask all the cops (at least 10) at my wedding to watch out for my wayward cousin, who'd be likely to steal envelopes, wallets, etc.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

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Posted by kelleherkm

OMG! Are you that worried? Maybe you should talk to the people who may be a problem - ahead of time??

FH has to talk to his BM because of his drinking - its out of control sometimes.

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I agree totally----thats a bit insane, dont ya think?????

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

If you feel that is the only way to prevent something like that from happening, then go for it. It's a shame what happens to people when alcohol gets into their system, but it's better to be safe instead of letting things get out of hand.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

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Posted by hbradio

I am TOYING with the idea of hiring my friends dad to come to the wedding and just be there. Hes a retired cop and can step in if anything happens.

I am looking at my guest list and I am thinking there might be some problems when alcohol gets into certain peoples systems.....or when certain people see certain other people.

Is this crazy? What do you think? Any experiences?

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You'll only need security if you invite mine and FH's families.

Seriously though, I share your concerns. I was actually looking into my buildings security people and just passing them off as guests. I'd like someone to keep an eye on gifts/envelopes, sad as that is.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I used to work at a catering hall and out of all the weddings I worked (3 years worth) I only saw 2 fights. The first one was when the bartender refused to serve this trashed guy another drink and he jumped over the bar and started beating him up. Then they broke up the fight and the guy walked to the front of the building and took a chair and smashed the glass doors and entrance. They called the police and he was arrested.

The second fight I saw was at a gorgeous wedding packed with 300 people. I had two tables all the way in the back and two guys at the table started arguing and were so trashed they started hitting each other and one of the guys picked up the other guy and threw him on top of the table and it broke and everything smashed to the floor. But the music was so loud hardly anyone noticed. They were both asked to leave. That was the craziest thing I ever saw.

But out of all weddings that was the only 2 things I saw of that nature. Every other wedding was great and no fighting.

I think it is a good idea if you feel like you need to. If it makes you feel better then go for it.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

I think if you are that concerned about the behavior of some guests, it would be worth it--just for your own piece of mind. I would ask your dad's friend to dress as if he were a guest, so that way he wouldn't stand out from everyone else at your wedding.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

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Posted by 070502

We had them at our church and our reception not really for a fight but just for a bitter person who swore to me she would ruin our day. I didn't think much of it, but my parents had some family friends who are parole officers who sat in the last row of the church just in case. It didn't even phase me until I saw them on the video. They waited till after I came in and snuck into the church as my father gave me away. No one even saw them come in because everyone was staring up front. Everything went perfectly.

I was also in another wedding where they had 'help guests' the MIL had disowned her son because of the impending marriage and she also turned his sisters on him. The mother said she would ruin the wedding if it was the last thing she could do. Needless to say certain male guests were given her picture and the sisters and all problems were taking care of outside the church. His mom was left by his father right after she had him and she just had a hatred for all married men and now that her son was becoming one she felt the need to stop it. The bride had no clue this was happening but the bridal party was all informed.

I don't think it is crazy alot of times the groomsmen become the people who look out for trouble and I think it is better to have someone who isn't a 'guest'

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That's a wild story!!!!

If you really think something could go that wrong, go for it.

FI had an ex tell him she wanted an invite to our wedding just so she could stand up at the moment people are asked to object or forever hold the peace. FI told her that my bridesmaids would murder her before she finished standing up. I'm sure she would catch a serious beat down but if I really thought she would show up (which i totally don't believe) I'd hire someone to be on the lookout for her.

I can't imagine having to get blood stains all over my fabulous wedding gown and then edit all of that out of the video. LOL LOL LOL

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

My FSIL hired one at her wedding. She had a lot of issues with biological father who was a real loser and she was afraid he would show up at the wedding. All was ok.

But some guest were really insulted that the bride did not trust them to behave like adults.

Re: Is this crazy to even THINK of doing? Fights at weddings.....

OMG! I can't believe how many ppl have experienced fights at weddings! It's so ridiculous! I thought I was the only one who saw that. My best friend's brother got into a HUGE fight right after the wedding in the van home! It was 13 of us crammed in one little van all of us wasted. Worst expereince ever. There were punches being thrown IN THE VAN! Needless to say some of the girls got hit and were even bleeding. It was horrible. It was between an x marine and one of those angry drinkers-we all know one! (So you can imagine the intensity of it) Van pulled over and everybody got out in their tuxes and gowns in the middle of the road. The worst part was that the brides family (OOT's) were all driving by and all pulled over. So they got involved. IT was a friggin mess.

Thank God Bride and groom were not there they were already at hotel and luckily decided not to join our after party. Drinking, always causes problems, at some time or another.

I would strangle the person that started a problem at my wedding, NOT KIDDING