Is this RUDE...

1 of the gm isnt jewish. fh is going to ask him if he would be ok w/ wearing one. if not, not a big deal.
our kippot are black, so no one would even notice if he didnt.

there are many jews who will not wear kippot either. it's a personal choice.

---

Posted by kase21

I think so.. I would probably be offended because it's asking me to represent a religion I'm not a part of especially since its interfaith and multiple religions are being honored.


ETA: Making it an option probably isn't bad, but I think if it were a requirement I would be bothered.

JMO

---

I agree. My friend just had an interfaith ceremony and gave them the option of wearing one. All but one or two did...I think they appreciated the option.

---

Posted by vixchik

Maybe try this:

Joe, we were wondering if you would mind keeping Jewish tradition at our ceremony by wearing a yarmulka. It would mean a lot to us if you would, but we understand if you would rather not.

HTH

---

That is a great way to put it. Personally I think it is a given when you go to a Jewish wedding. I am catholic but whenever we go to a Jewish wedding all the men know they have to wear them. I have never heard anyone complain.

Personally I wouldn't ask. I would feel awkward if they're not jewish. But you can ask, the worst they could say is no
XOXOXO
Kitty

---

Posted by sr081906

Honestly, I would not ask anyone to do anything they don't feel comfortable with. Maybe you should ask them first. Especially if they are other religious beliefs.

---

I agree.

---

Posted by stephanielyse

Honestly, I hadn't even considered the idea of NOT having the groomsmen wearing yarmulkes. None of them are Jewish (neither is FH), but we are having a Jewish cermony and they are a part of it - I just assumed that all men involved would wear them, didn't even think it would be an issue. Honestly the best way to go about it is to talk to them, they're your (or at the very least your FH's) friends and would hopefully be considerate of your wishes. Maybe go with 'We would like all of the men participating in the ceremony to wear yarmulkes, would you be okay with that?'
Good luck.

---

Very nicely worded> Thanks

I think whenever you give someone an option to do something, rather than saying its a 'must', people are much more willing to do it.

As i understand it, wearing a yarmulke does not mean you are pretending to be Jewish - it is acknowledging the tradition of men having their heads be covered in a religious setting, which a ceremony usually is.

At our interfaith wedding we had yarmulkes available for any of the men to take if they wished - they were not mandatory. It ended up most of the non jewish men wore them anyway and all our groomsmen did as well - noone had a problem with it.

I don't think its rude of you to ask them if they wouldn't mind wearing one for the ceremony. If you told them they had to, i bet most of them would anyway but they'd grumble about it.

Good luck!

when you go to a Jewish wedding- don't they have a basket of them for every one to put on?

I don't see what the big deal is- your not asking them to renouce there faith

I thought that it was always a part of a jewish wedding. And that the male guests wore them too.

But I wouldn't think they would have a problem with it, it doesn't mean they are converting, it just meanst hat they are respecting the faith during that faith's marriage ceremony.

---

Posted by kathrynlinton

I thought that it was always a part of a jewish wedding. And that the male guests wore them too.

But I wouldn't think they would have a problem with it, it doesn't mean they are converting, it just meanst hat they are respecting the faith during that faith's marriage ceremony.

---

EXACTLY

---

Posted by Beth1210

when you go to a Jewish wedding- don't they have a basket of them for every one to put on?

I don't see what the big deal is- your not asking them to renouce there faith

---

That's my thought!

---

Posted by Beth1210

when you go to a Jewish wedding- don't they have a basket of them for every one to put on?

I don't see what the big deal is- your not asking them to renouce there faith

---

Exactly!

I don't think it's rude at all!

It isn't rude at all. You're not asking them to convert, and wearing a yarmulke during a Jewish ceremony doesn't make someone Jewish. Wearing one is simply being respectful of the Jewish or interfaith ceremony. If the ceremony were held in a temple, people would most likely be expected to wear one regardless of their religion. IMO, it's similar to standing during the standing/prayer parts at a Catholic ceremony. It in no way reflects your actual religious beliefs. You're participating to be respectful and follow the traditions.

We essentially had a Jewish ceremony (I'm Jewish, DH isn't). We had yarmulkes in a basket for people to take. All of our GM (including DH's brothers) and the other males in DH's family wore yarmulkes. I wasn't there when they put the yarmulkes on, but no one seemed to mind. If you think people will feel uncomfortable, give them the option of not wearing it.

---

Posted by pigs222seal

Is it rude to ask the grromsmen to wear yarmulks even though they are not Jewish. Keep in mind we are having an interfaith wedding. Please be honest...thank you.

---

If you asked this person to be in your wedding then its just a show of respect that they wear the attire of your religion. If the yarmulks are optional then that is up to you, but most people just to be respectful wear it. I went to a Hindu wedding and had to wear a Sari because it is the traditional attire. Some said that was asking a bit much. But she is my friend and she asked and I obliged her because she thought enough of me as a friend to include me in her ceremony. It would look bad to show up in just a regular going out dress. If you went to an Asian wedding and they are very traditional they may ask you wear red (for good luck). If you chose not to wear the item asked and it is a requirement of their religion or culture you always have the option of not going.

---

Posted by lsiliato

---

Posted by vixchik

Maybe try this:

Joe, we were wondering if you would mind keeping Jewish tradition at our ceremony by wearing a yarmulka. It would mean a lot to us if you would, but we understand if you would rather not.

HTH

---

That is a great way to put it. Personally I think it is a given when you go to a Jewish wedding. I am catholic but whenever we go to a Jewish wedding all the men know they have to wear them. I have never heard anyone complain.

---

A LOT of people are not ok with wearing them. My father being one of them! Most men I know who are not Jewish would not wear one.

---

Posted by prettyprincess07

---

Posted by pigs222seal

Is it rude to ask the grromsmen to wear yarmulks even though they are not Jewish. Keep in mind we are having an interfaith wedding. Please be honest...thank you.

---

If you asked this person to be in your wedding then its just a show of respect that they wear the attire of your religion. If the yarmulks are optional then that is up to you, but most people just to be respectful wear it. I went to a Hindu wedding and had to wear a Sari because it is the traditional attire. Some said that was asking a bit much. But she is my friend and she asked and I obliged her because she thought enough of me as a friend to include me in her ceremony. It would look bad to show up in just a regular going out dress. If you went to an Asian wedding and they are very traditional they may ask you wear red (for good luck). If you chose not to wear the item asked and it is a requirement of their religion or culture you always have the option of not going.

---

I agree as long as it is understood that this is what is expected from them