My FMIL is starting to annoy me a bit...seems like she constantly needs to put her two cents in about my wedding planning even when I don't ask for it, not sure how to respond to it when my family is paying for 95% of the wedding. For example last week she is telling me what color bridesmaid dresses she thinks would look good; and now that I picked my dresses she's telling me what flower colors she thinks would match, and how they need to match the centerpieces. How do I respond to this? I haven't figured out what flowers I want yet, and don't need someone breathing down my back about every detail, especially if they aren't paying for it. I would rather just pick something out on my own and then tell her this is what I picked. Well, thanks for reading and letting me vent, I feel better already.
jovigirl414
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Aww, I'm sorry she is annoying you ...
It sounds like she is just trying to be involved, I personally wish my fmil was more like that and less of what she is (feel free to fm me if you would like details). If it bothers you, then yes, you can always plan first and tell her what you chose later on.
Good luck with her!
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Smile and walk away!!!!!
FallBride9
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VCanizalez
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Is ur FH on ur side??? If so, then UR IN A GOOD WAY NOW..!!!!
My FMIL is the same way... She was thinkin she could plan OUR wedding./....OH HELLLL NOOO!!!!!!
I would say 'No Sorry, that is nto the color we are choosing, We are choosing this color.' and FH backs me up bc he agrees this is OUR wedding not our parents (Even though My parents are paying for like %60 of everything n the rest is Me n Him)...
Just DO what YOU and UR FH WANT.. DAS IT!!
talk to Fh so he can talk to her!
chliekm
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Posted by FutureMrsCat050412
Smile and walk away!!!!!
This!
I am lucky I don't have this problem, but I would be polite as possible.. also talking to your FH could cause problems and make him think you don't like her lol. I'd try to stay away and then just tell her what you booked/chose after the fact since shes interested. Or just tell her you don't like what shes suggesting.
IrishAli
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
To get around this, I have basically stopped telling her anything- or I show her AFTER I've purchased!
halfbaked
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Just nod and say 'That's a great idea.' and then do whatever you want.
ETA: But yes, it's typical. Look at it this way, at least she wants to be involved in wedding planning! That's something!
Yankeeelove
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
My fmil does something to annoy me every single time I see her. I usually ignore her bc most of the time she does it for attention and I don't feed into it. Or I tell her no we're not doing that and that's it. She usually stops talking after that. But I know she says alot about the wedding to fh bc he still lives with her. I try not to worry about it.
CroatianBride
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Posted by jilliibabii
Just nod and say 'That's a great idea.' and then do whatever you want.
ETA: But yes, it's typical. Look at it this way, at least she wants to be involved in wedding planning! That's something!
I was just going to say this....she just wants to feel involved, so I'd just listen and say that you'll keep it in mind when picking whatever it is out. I keep an open ear to everyone's opinion, and it makes me feel good that they're excited for the wedding and want to know/be involved with the details. But in the end it's always going to be what FH and I want.
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Posted by jilliibabii
Just nod and say 'That's a great idea.' and then do whatever you want.
ETA: But yes, it's typical. Look at it this way, at least she wants to be involved in wedding planning! That's something!
ITA with this.. I usually just nod and say something along the lines of 'I'll take that into consideration' and then proceed to do as I want.
meghan13
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
I think sometimes FMIL's just wanna be involved in the wedding planning. It seems overbearing to us but at least know that she means well.
I know its annoying but I know sometimes I forget how much my FMIL loves her son and how hard everything is for her. By keeping her involved it helps me show her he will always be her son.
meghan13
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Posted by FutureMrsGTL
Posted by jilliibabii
Just nod and say 'That's a great idea.' and then do whatever you want.
ETA: But yes, it's typical. Look at it this way, at least she wants to be involved in wedding planning! That's something!
ITA with this.. I usually just nod and say something along the lines of 'I'll take that into consideration' and then proceed to do as I want.
This is basically what I do.
LBUDA
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
I think she is just excited and trying to get involved....I know its difficult to deal with, but try to be happy that she is excited for you and your FH
pjc92980
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
smile and nod! that is the best way to deal with it If you start telling her your thoughts on what you like that can lead to a never ending conversation. I would just say 'thanks for the suggestions, i'll take a look at those flowers when i see the florist) etc.
ourwedding9510
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
A LOT of people did this while we were planning our wedding. I wish I would have done what I wanted to do and not try to please everyone else.
Since you haven't picked the flowers yet, just tell her 'thanks for the suggestion, I'll have to think about it'. When you go for the appointments to vendors, don't tell her and don't bring her. Just go and pick what you want and just tell her 'I decided to go a different route. Your's was REALLY nice but expensive (or any other reason - it didn't go with our theme, etc).' Just thank her for her suggestions and if it becomes too much just eventually tell her or ask FH to tell her 'I appreciate your suggestions but FH and I are a little overwhelmed with all the suggestions from everyone and decided we're going to just talk about what we want and if we get stuck I promise to come to you.'
Good luck! And TRY to enjoy the planning!
kdm822
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
LOL... my parents are paying and my mom always says the girls should wear the same exact dress.. i said no i dont like it not everyone is exactly the same. I would just act like your listening.. its your wedding anything goes!!
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
It is extremely typical for a MIL to be annoying.
The best thing to do is create boundaries, make your own decisions and stick to them, and remain civil.
And always check the Caller ID before picking up the phone.
anszusterman
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Re: Is this typical of your FMIL?
Posted by jilliibabii
Just nod and say 'That's a great idea.' and then do whatever you want.
I have become the queen of this maneuver. FMIL would try and change my opinion to match hers- so now its- 'okay, I will think about it' and then get what I had planned anyways
