is your fh allergic to children?

just went to lunch w/fh and got into a huge fight w/him.
a friend invited me to her daughter's third bday party this sat... i told her i would go and asked if i could bring my goddaughter and her little brother (ages 5 and 3). i asked fh if he would come w/me to keep me company while the kids play and also bc i would be driving on the highway and honestly i'm scared... (i've never really taken the kids anywhere in a car). he flipped out, he got really mad and asked me why i volunteered him,k that his wknds are made for relaxing (bc his week consists of nothing but sitting on his a$$ at work), and that he did not want to watch other ppls' kids. i'm very hurt by all his comments bc he knows my goddaughter and her brother never do anything fun (their parents are pretty much like fh, huge, lazy couch potatoes). the first thing i said was how do you expect me to want to have kids w/you when you act this way? (ladies he really put up a fight , i was soo speechless). he said so many more nasty things, and then said he would go so that i dont complain...

i'm very upset.. what kind of father would he be? i know he doesnt like kids... i'm a little afraid of them too, and sometimes i wonder maybe we shouldnt have them...but now i'm really scared... what am i getting into?

I think this is something you and FH need to sit down and really hash out. If neither of you want children then fine. But if you MIGHT want them and he doesn't then it could turn into an issue down the road. Neither of you should resent the other b/c of this decision.



It sounds like he was overreacting a little so maybe something else is going on w/him.

im so sorry... Shaun is the opposite... but i know even the best fathers dont really like kids that arent theirs... my uncle and bil are like that... (its not that they dont like the other kids, but they could be complete strangers to them) maybe he will be a different person to his own kids

FH and I are both allergic to children.

Joking aside, have you guys had the kids/no kids discussion? It's a huge part of a relationship and you guys have got to be on the same side of the fence with that one..

i think he is overreacting.. he might be different towards his kids..

you guys...he was SOOO upset, acting like a child himself... he kept saying that his wknds are meant to relax not to watch someone elses kids... he was jsut being such an a$$hole..

Maybe you just caught him at a bad time or in a bad mood or maybe something happened at work????? maybe hes just on his male period?

Either way, not in regards to this specific situation or incident, the 2 of you should be on the same page regardless. Either way is fine, as long as you both have the same view on it. I have seen many arguments over the 'children' topic and I feel that it is something easier to handle and discuss before getting married.

This was something FH and I had discussed before we were engaged. If it happened (and this is just ME and my opinion) that FH didn't want kids whatsoever, I would have not stayed or continued in a relationship with him only because my view of children is the complete opposite and I 100000% want children and wouldn't be able to be with someone who didn't.

great now i'm crying...
why didnt i ever bring this up before?

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Posted by latinaj

great now i'm crying...
why didnt i ever bring this up before?

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Since the convo with FH just happened I would give him a day or so to digest it then I'd have the talk with him and see how he feels.

my cousin's husband could care less about kids, he knew he wanted them and said so, but whenever my cousin's nieces came over (and this was totally evident) he barely acknowledged their existence. he didnt even think the little one was cute (she is more than cute, she is freaking most adorable!)
but now he's a father, and one of the best ones I've seen

I did meet men that are like that, they have some kinda oversion to other ppl's kids. weirdest thing.

but I do agree with everyone else about u guys talking. not only this is something u need to be on the same page, his behavior at lunch was completely inappropriate

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Posted by AdriandSteve

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Posted by latinaj

great now i'm crying...
why didnt i ever bring this up before?

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Since the convo with FH just happened I would give him a day or so to digest it then I'd have the talk with him and see how he feels.

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ITA. Both of you should give it a couple of days to cool off, and then you should discuss it.

I would let it cool off for today and maybe tomorrow or the next day, I would casually bring it up and see where he stands and his opinion on kids in general.....nothing to do with the weekend, just what he wants/sees in your future......
good luck hun!

Maybe he was having a bad day, don't jump to conclusions . . . BUT this is something that definitely needs to be discussed when he's in a better mood. I know I definitely want children but I tend to not enjoy other people's kids unless they're close family members or VERY well behaved. I think someone can be a great parent but not necessarily LOVE all kids (as long as they're into their own).

It's definitely worth taking some time though and seeing where your FH's head is on this topic! It's one thing if you both agree that you don't want kids, but if one of you does and the other doesn't, it's likely to be a huge issue down the road. Good luck and

ok before you worry you're making a HUGE mistake, let me jump in here.

FH is a PITA. He can be really lazy sometimes and on the weekends, he wants to sit around and hang out or do something that HE wants to do.

When my parents come over to help us work on the house, he gets annoyed and says, 'ugh..I just want to relax on my weekends!'

Mind you, he never wins. I think he's a spoiled brat sometimes. My parents are wasting their day to work on MY house. You can get off your *** and help.

And...when they show up, he's all like ok so what are we doing? JERK!

Maybe he's just like my FH is. Cranky that he has to give his day up.

FH is allergic to children. He doesnt mind being around my neice and nephew but he cant take other peoples kids. i knew from the moment I met him he didnt want children and I am ok with that because at my age I dont want them now anyway.

But I think you should sit down and talk with him about this. make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to children

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Posted by AdriandSteve

I think this is something you and FH need to sit down and really hash out. If neither of you want children then fine. But if you MIGHT want them and he doesn't then it could turn into an issue down the road. Neither of you should resent the other b/c of this decision.



It sounds like he was overreacting a little so maybe something else is going on w/him.

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ITA, definitely needs to be addressed so youre both ont he same page

I'm so sorry you are upset! I think the ladies are making some excellent points & I def think you should consider all of them. One think that really struck me was when FH got upset about you 'volunteering' him. My FH gets completely BENT if I do that. Is there any possibility (and believe me I don't think this makes him right) that what he really is upset about has nothing to do w/the kids themselves but that he feels you made a commitment for him w/out consulting him? I def think you should follow all the ladies advice and DEF have the kids convo w/him but dont jump to any conclusions yet. Wait until you both have had a chance to relax.

Hope you feel better

thx ladies...
i'm just upset at the way he went about this.....
for him to freak out bc he has to give up a few hours on a sat is immature... he gave me the 'not my kids, not my blood speech'

he's so afraid of children, i'm not sure why, if he says he doesnt ever want to have kids ....... i will be very very very upset...