Isnt this RUDE?????????

I think this is so rude! I sent out my invites last week and have been receiving the responses back. My fi and I decided no kids at the reception, it was kind of word of mouth thing but when we invited people with kids we just didnt put them on there. Most everyone understood and no one comlained so far. Then the other day I receive a response card from one of fi's friends that says mr and mrs plus 2 kids...wtf is that???????????? So i told my fi and he said he would speak to his friend. Now the wedding is obviuosly here and the live in pa..and know that its hard to travel with a child but come on now..you just dont do that. So the friend said well ok we will drop them off at my in laws house that night then in brooklyn..but what if they cant do it and decide to just bring them??? I think this is so rude, dont know what you ladies think but give me your opinion. And they are young too...4 and 2. I didnt invite first cousins of mine cause they were so young and if my uncle sees these kids there with no relation it will start a good ole family war I am sure! Am i wrong? Wasnt that rude?? To just add them on there??

Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

You are not the first and you will not be the last bride to get people added to your RSVP card, people do it all the time. It is rude and inconsiderate, especially when you addressed it specifically to the couple...we had a few of those. Hubby had to call a couple of his invited guest and let them know.

It will be ok..you cannot let something that is not in your control concern you.

Take care and happy planning.

Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

This happens all the time and everytime it is rude. If someone's name is not on the invite, then they are NOT invited. People know that, but they think you will just let them bring the kids if they try. I highly doubt that they will show-up with the kids since you were very specific about not inviting them.

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I've had quite a few add ons, two of which were kids. FH's friend not only put the kids name on the response card but they sent a picture...like that's supposed to make us cave or something. I just can't believe some people.
But I don't think you have to worry about them bringing them if your FH spoke to them, I think they will respect that.

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My brother in Florida is now not even coming to my wedding because I won't allow his two 2 year olds at my wedding. Do you think I am wrong? All my nephews and neices will be there because they are in the wedding party but they are no younger than 7 yrs old. I told them not to bring the kids because I wanted my day to be perfect. Honestly, those kids are spoiled brats and uncontrollable.

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Dont get me wrong, I love kids, but people have a lot of nerve just adding their children onto an invite! My FMIL has already mentioned to me that if I dont want kids at the wedding then I should supple 'childcare'. I think that is rediculous too. My parents went to tons of wedding when I was a kid and guess what...THEY PAID FOR THEIR OWN BABYSITTER! I just think people can be so rude! Now my FMIL thinks I am rude because I refuse to supply and pay for child care. She said I should use the bridal suite at flowerfield for the kids and pay for a sitter to be in there. ARE YOU KIDDING! That is my bridal suite! I am so livid, I feel for those of you who have your invites out already. I know there will be add on's on mine too!

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First of all, I think people from other states like PA, if they've never been to a NY wedding, don't really understand. Weddings in other places are a lot more low key and they may not have realized it was a big deal. I don't think they would bring them after saying they wouldn't, I wouldn't worry about that. A lot of my FH relatives from canada arent' coming, because we didn't invite their kids, and they can't really leave them alone for the weekend. Oh well!

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Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

Noreen- As you know I'm a Mom & believe me I see that as rude!! I would NEVER reply that me, my FH & my Son will attend. My best friend got married in Oct & said Patrick can come. I had my sister babysit the whole night! They came to the cocktail hour ONLY because my friend wanted to get a family potrait taken of us. (The pic in my profile) I'm not one for a bunch of kids at a wedding. My Sisters wedding her then husbands nieces wouldn't leave her alone. I was more ticked off then she was. So NO you are not wrong for being upset!

Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

I was actually talking to someone yesterday at work about this and she said that she told a couple that wanted to bring kids that if they brought them, they would have no chair. They would either sit on thier laps, or on the floor all night. The couple actully brought the kids and the kids sat on the floor all night.

Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

If I were inviting all my neices and nephews I would include them all. I would rather have my brother there with his child/children with all their cousins then have my brother miss the wedding. Besides the little ones are so cute. The wedding is about sharing our day with our loved ones. Besides if the 2 year old is a handful it will be his parents problem. You'll be busy dancing and having fun you won't really even notice. We will all understand better when we have our own. Just don't want to see anyone have regrets. If you invite 1 neice then you should invite all. Age 2, 7, 10. they are all young kids. Just my 2 cents. Have fun and don't worry so much. just lay down the rules with family if they are coming. Ex. wait outsite ceremony if little one acts up, etc. But if the children were not invited like the origional post I do think that it's nervy to reply that they are coming. Unless they are absent minded and did not realize the child was not invited. Wanted you to know I do agree with that.

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People can be so amazing. We don't want any kids at ours either, so we'll be stealing an idea that my cousin used for their wedding for the invites.

'An adult reception to follow...'

Hopefully they'll get the hint, but I'm sure we'll have some people trying to get their little ones to the party.

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I hope my bridemaid doesnt think her 2 kids will be coming. Thanks to this post I will talk to her before now so that its clarified & out of the way now that the only 2 kids at my wedding will be my FG & RB

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Latina- Truthfully- if I were your brother I would be very upset at your attitude. You want a 'perfect' day and I guess that does not include your brother's children but does include all of your other nieces and nephews. I would have them come to my wedding since the other children are invited. But that is just my opinion. I would never want my brother to miss my wedding.

Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

Well, I think the problem sometimes becomes wanting certain children at the wedding and not others. I didn't want any kids except for teh FG and RB, but FH really wants his neices and nephews there. We decided that we would establish a rule, no kids except for FG, RB and neices and nephews. No little second cousins or childen of friends. Whatever policy you pick, you must stick to! If you let these people bring their two children, think of how upset your other guests will be who were not allowed to bring their kids. Stick to your guns. If these people can't respect your wishes on your wedding day, then they shouldn't be there anyway!

Re: Isnt this RUDE?????????

Christy-
As you know I just got married at the same place as you. That is NOT the place for children in your bridal suite. THat is a special room for you to come and go to touch yourself up or do whatever you need to do or your bridal party. I cant imagine children being in that room. I went to my friends wedding last night and she had big problems with the inlaws wanting to bring their kids. It was so much that his brothers and sisters said then they are not coming. I dont know what the outcome was, but there was no children at her wedding. It is your day and if someone gets mad then too bad. I had such a horrible time with this with my husbands family over this with my shower. My poor mom. All of the cousins dont like me because someone wasnt allowed to bring their baby to my shower. My mom had it at the country house and that is not the place to bring babies. That is my opinion. Needless to say, I will never see them again, ever! The bigtime rudeness, I will never forget! Good luck to you!!

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I think it is horrible, and that I know we are going to be going thru it also. My fsil is pregnant with baby #2 and insists on bringing him(just found out it is a boy) to our wedding. The baby will be 14 months old, and I am sooo mad. I love kids but a wedding is not for a baby to be at. Can u imagine if we were the ones that were married first and deceided to bring our kids to there wedding! UGH!

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It is very rude of them to assume anything! We are inviting all the kids just to avoid anything like this from happening, God knows it would have happened especially with FH's family.