It looks like it might be over*UPDATE*

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by bemyyoko
we're not living in his family's home... we are living in an apartment building that is owned by his grandfather. his grandfather does not live here. (he lives in a house down the road)
the car, well he's the only one who's driven it for 6 years. we just found out last week that it's still registered to her and insured under her name.

we cannot afford rent on long island... we looked for months, that's why his grandfather gave us this place b/c he knew we couldnt afford to move out on our own but we had to get out of his mother's house.

we are looking into buying a new car but FH needs a very large car for work, and if we buy a used car it has to have very low mileadge. everything that works for us, is too expensive.
FH would also have to insure the car on his own and since he's under 25 that will be so much more a year we can't afford that either.

we're not paying for our wedding, my parents are. so i cant even say we'll put the wedding on hold and put the money towards other stuff.. its not our money to use like that and my mother is ill so pushing the weddng back isnt an option.


your advice is perfect... we just cant afford to do it.

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yeah i meant to just leave the property that his family owns. . .etc.

but anyway that doesnt matter now - i understand that you cant afford it - FH and I will be living in my parents' ATTIC basically so we can get a head start

okay so if you two really DO get kicked out - what are your options? Can your parents help the two of you?

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... There really is no option for us. I have no idea what will happen. My parents turned my old bedroom into a room for my niece and nephew and my brother lives in the basement. there is no room for us there, and they don't have the money to help us out any other way.

Honestly, I'm scared.

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Posted by ant n tilde

does FH have siblings?

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He has a brother. who is the biggest waste of space ever. He has a daughter who calls me mom on occassion, and she lives with FMIL while FBIL lives downstairs from us. In a three bedroom apartment.
He steals thousands of dollars out of family bank accounts a month and gets away with everything.

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by ant n tilde

does FH have siblings?

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He has a brother. who is the biggest waste of space ever. He has a daughter who calls me mom on occassion, and she lives with FMIL while FBIL lives downstairs from us. In a three bedroom apartment.
He steals thousands of dollars out of family bank accounts a month and gets away with everything.

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okay well turning to him for help is out.

I think that you will have a better chance talking to the grandfather than the mother obviously - maybe FH can talk to him and make him sympathetic to what is going on.

ugh this is so terrible i am sorry you are going through this i just dont want this evil woman to win!

Kerri you have FM

im so sorry you have to go through all of this.. and its really unfortunate that FMIL is creating chaos and making you doubt ur mariage.

I also agree with the other girls and feel you need to let the air cool for a bit, and try to talk to FH and sort this all out.

the best thing i can say is jsut cool down and talk to FH.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with a crazy FMIL. I know what this is like and it *****. I'll pray that this all works out for you and whatever you need, we're here!

sweetie i am so sorry...i am sure things will work out once it cools down. There have been soooo many times i have told FH if his mother doesnt knock it off i am not going to be part of the family. I just try to keep my distance and see her as little as i can! If you need to talk please FM me!! ill help all i can

feel better!

whaaaaaaaaat!? Aww, Kerri!

I really don't understand why families make things so difficult for their children.

Isn't the most important thing that your children are happy?

My heart goes out to you. I really hope you can work things out.

Oh I am so sorry that you are dealing with this right now. I mean honestly if you guys work this out and decide to go ahead with the wedding plans you both really need to separate your relationship from his relationship with her. She obviously has a lot of issues that she is dealing with internally and projecting them out on you which is not right at all but atleast you know its not because of you and because you are a bad person but because she is so sick and needy. Try to focus on you and FH. Think about yourself in 5 years, are you going to regret not being with him or are you going to be happy knowing that FMIL is not apart of your life. If you need anything at all you can always FM me. Are you okay?

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Awww- I'm sorry you are going through this.

You shouldn't call it off though because of FMIL.

There would be like half the amount of marraiges if everyone w/ FMIL problems called it off...seriously.

It is about you and FH. I know you marry into the family and all, but it teally comes down to you two.

Call me if you need to talk, or FM me.

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I agree

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Posted by chrispar

Oh I am so sorry that you are dealing with this right now. I mean honestly if you guys work this out and decide to go ahead with the wedding plans you both really need to separate your relationship from his relationship with her. She obviously has a lot of issues that she is dealing with internally and projecting them out on you which is not right at all but atleast you know its not because of you and because you are a bad person but because she is so sick and needy. Try to focus on you and FH. Think about yourself in 5 years, are you going to regret not being with him or are you going to be happy knowing that FMIL is not apart of your life. If you need anything at all you can always FM me. Are you okay?

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I will regret not being with him, but i will also be thrilled that she's not in my life anymore.
She is causing a nervous breakdown. no joke.

oh my gosh! i am so sorry that you are dealing with this. it is so messed up on FMILs part. but i think you need to way all your options before you decided it`s time to throw in the towel. what if you and FH moved? would you be willing to get outta here and have a fresh start somewhere else where she can`t be near? i know it ***** but it sounds like you either sacrifice your love or you sacrafice what you have here. idk just a suggestion i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better but i don`t think there are any words for a time like this!! big for you

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by chrispar

Oh I am so sorry that you are dealing with this right now. I mean honestly if you guys work this out and decide to go ahead with the wedding plans you both really need to separate your relationship from his relationship with her. She obviously has a lot of issues that she is dealing with internally and projecting them out on you which is not right at all but atleast you know its not because of you and because you are a bad person but because she is so sick and needy. Try to focus on you and FH. Think about yourself in 5 years, are you going to regret not being with him or are you going to be happy knowing that FMIL is not apart of your life. If you need anything at all you can always FM me. Are you okay?

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I will regret not being with him, but i will also be thrilled that she's not in my life anymore.
She is causing a nervous breakdown. no joke.

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You have FM

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Posted by dangell427

oh my gosh! i am so sorry that you are dealing with this. it is so messed up on FMILs part. but i think you need to way all your options before you decided it`s time to throw in the towel. what if you and FH moved? would you be willing to get outta here and have a fresh start somewhere else where she can`t be near? i know it ***** but it sounds like you either sacrifice your love or you sacrafice what you have here. idk just a suggestion i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better but i don`t think there are any words for a time like this!! big for you

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I would LOOOOOVE to move. but we can't afford it. at all.

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by dangell427

oh my gosh! i am so sorry that you are dealing with this. it is so messed up on FMILs part. but i think you need to way all your options before you decided it`s time to throw in the towel. what if you and FH moved? would you be willing to get outta here and have a fresh start somewhere else where she can`t be near? i know it ***** but it sounds like you either sacrifice your love or you sacrafice what you have here. idk just a suggestion i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better but i don`t think there are any words for a time like this!! big for you

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I would LOOOOOVE to move. but we can't afford it. at all.

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FH and i are thinking of moving to vegas like 8 months or so after the wedding i`ll let you come live with us so you don`t have to deal with her!!!!

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by dangell427

oh my gosh! i am so sorry that you are dealing with this. it is so messed up on FMILs part. but i think you need to way all your options before you decided it`s time to throw in the towel. what if you and FH moved? would you be willing to get outta here and have a fresh start somewhere else where she can`t be near? i know it ***** but it sounds like you either sacrifice your love or you sacrafice what you have here. idk just a suggestion i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better but i don`t think there are any words for a time like this!! big for you

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I would LOOOOOVE to move. but we can't afford it. at all.

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FH and i are thinking of moving to vegas like 8 months or so after the wedding i`ll let you come live with us so you don`t have to deal with her!!!!

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you just made me smile for the first time all night. thank you.
<3

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by dangell427

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by dangell427

oh my gosh! i am so sorry that you are dealing with this. it is so messed up on FMILs part. but i think you need to way all your options before you decided it`s time to throw in the towel. what if you and FH moved? would you be willing to get outta here and have a fresh start somewhere else where she can`t be near? i know it ***** but it sounds like you either sacrifice your love or you sacrafice what you have here. idk just a suggestion i wish i knew what to say to make you feel better but i don`t think there are any words for a time like this!! big for you

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I would LOOOOOVE to move. but we can't afford it. at all.

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FH and i are thinking of moving to vegas like 8 months or so after the wedding i`ll let you come live with us so you don`t have to deal with her!!!!

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you just made me smile for the first time all night. thank you.
<3

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awwwwww no problem! glad i can help even if it was just for a minute! all you girls have been so nice and helpful since i came on this site and i don`t like to see people upset!! it makes me upset!

OMG Kerri! I cant believe this! even more I cant believe that your FMIL is ruining everything for you and FH. I dont know what to tell you except that I hope everything works out for you and that you and FH get back together! if you guys are meant to be, then you cant let people stand in your way of happiness.

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Posted by SugaBeans

OMG Kerri! I cant believe this! even more I cant believe that your FMIL is ruining everything for you and FH. I dont know what to tell you except that I hope everything works out for you and that you and FH get back together! if you guys are meant to be, then you cant let people stand in your way of happiness.

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it's weird right now b/c we live together and there is no room at my parents house for me so i'm sitting at the desk while he's in the living room talking to his grandfather about all the crapola she said today.

she actually said that my parents and i could rot in hell... my parents have never been anything but nice to her. this is all because we went to a birthday party for my niece today instead of waiting around for 5 hours for one of her perscriptions to be filled. i let her have it... i called her and went off like it was the end of the world. i dont think i've ever screamed so loud in my life. and i am a screamer.

we have not broken up really... but i'm still not wearing my ring. i want him to know that i'm serious about things having to change.

he's only 23 so i cant imagine how hard it must be for him to be in this situation. his stepfather (only father he ever knew) passed away a few years ago, and his grandmother who he was very close with passed away a few months ago. he is afraid of losing his whole family.

i will not make him choose between me and them. but they need to know that they cannot treat me this way.