Just got home from 1st Precana

And we look like the bad ones from the group because we live together. FH told them in discussion and you could tell the married couple did NOT like that
3 other couples still live at home.
FH was like 'Oh well' when we left, lol.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

How exciting.. Was it boring or was it interesting?
My FI just took the message today that we start precana on sunday at 7:30,

I asked him what is the couple's name
his reply I don't know

then I asked him do we need to bring anything
his reply I don't know

Last I asked him how long will it be
his reply I don't know

then he procceded to tell me
' but guess what we did really good on the FOCUS test'

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

Ugh! We haven't gone through Precana yet but we're going to lie about living together. We lied about it in church when we first met the priest. We had such a hard time finding a church to marry us that we didn't want to chance it. I'll go to confession after we're married!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

we did the engaged encounter and over half the couples were living together.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

I must say it was better than I thought it would be but NOT something we are saying 'wow i can't wait for precana next monday'!.
They had us all introduce ourselves and say how we met and we had to tell alittle bit about ourselves.

They gave us a paper and on a scale of 1-9, asked how we rated one another on looks, tenderness, patience etc and you'be be surprised what your partner rates you in all honesty. like in patience, he gave me a 5! (but hes right).

They really make you think about things that will happen in your married life and they prepare you for things such as each others habits, sharing chores etc.
(but john & i already knew that)


So 4 more weeks to go. One night a week for 5 weeks total.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

Jen, I hope I don't sound ignorant, but could you explain Precana to me? Is it like counseling (for instance, Len and I have to have 4 counseling sessions with our Pastor)

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

Liz,
it is kind of like 'preparing' you for married life, talking about things to expect.

For us each week we will discuss different things & how we would handle them.
Finances, Communication, Sexual Realtions, Children etc.

My precana will probably be much different than yours. Mine was in a married couples house in my parish, and a total of 4 enagaged couples.

They have you talk in an open discussion and some of the things, with your partner, done on paper.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

Wow..we were the only ones in our group that were living together (also the oldest)....guess we got lucky and no one cared. It didn't come up much but we decided not to hide it. I actually felt like the experienced ones of the group and it made me thankful we did live together first.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

I think that it is a good idea then, I believe any sort of pre-marraige counseling is a good thing, although I know some people would rather not, I embrace it.

I especially like the part about Sexual Relations. hee hee

LOL, Seriously, I think it is very important.

Len and I will be having private sessions, I don't know how it will turn out, mine don't start until November, I'll let you know how it goes.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

jenn I went yesterday too! It was kind boring by me though, they really just divided us into groups and had a little speech which was a nice story about a married couple, it wasnt horrible though. It was wierd too, my friend who i had a falling out with then tried to patch things up and it didnt work out so we still dont speak was in my group! Maybe its a sign.
Did they give you those books?

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

I think this is a pretty good place to ask this...

My fiance and I went to our second meeting with the priest, (we haven't done the day long pre-cana yet) where he separates us and asks us questions. Now we are an interfaith couple (I'm Jewish, he Catholic), but there was no difference between our questions and the questions they asked same faith couples. What we found when we left was that he asked my us a couple of different questions! Did anyone find this? One in particular was that he asked my fiance the question about homosexuality, and not me!

Anyone else discover any 'differences', or know why this would happen?

Thanks!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

what kind of questions are you asked ??

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

Oh no, Jenn, I am going to get a big fat ZERO for patience from my FH I just signed us up down in MD. They must not offer enough Pre Cana down here, becuase we could not get into a group until the end of Feb through the middle of Mar.

I filled out a form that asked for the Bride's address and the Groom's address, but indicated that all of the paperwork will be sent to the Bride's address. I felt uncomfortable filling it out since we have the same address. I feel judged already and it is five months away!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

I think people are too judgemental..

I live with Ronnie and the priest who is a friend of the family knows this..

He will be the one marrying us yet he teaches school at PRATT and is not part of a parish I will have it at my home parish..

I better not hear lip from anyone in PRECANA..

I will say GOd loves us all and bc we live together prior to marriage doesn't make it wrong..

ITS 2002 Give it a rest..

DON'T we all HAVE PREMARITAL SEX? Yes, I am sure so why bc we live together does it make it different..


Damn I am PISSED!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

I had pre-cana on Sunday. It was fine. Nobody asked us anything about living together or anything. It was boring - long day but it's over. Now we are onto the 'pre-marital investigation' which only St. Patricks' calls it!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

Well we got a face from the Priest when we told them that we live together & have a child. (I don't like that Priest anyway) We had the sexuality topic yesterday. The married couple even said 'Only God has the right to say whats wrong or right' I wouldn't worry about it!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

When we went, our church knew that we lived together but didn't care at all. Each place is different. We chose the church's that we chose just for those reasons.

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

They asked us what we would do in certain situations, about ourselves, how we met etc.

I know like the 4 other couples there that don't live together now, don't do the horizantal mambo now!
Pleaze!!!!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

the couple that did our pre-cana was divorced and remarried...I thought that was interesting - not that there is anything wrong with that, but just funny bc the church preaches against that. I was SO annoyed with my church, bc they had us do that whole FOCCUS test, and then NEVER even bothered to talk to us about it, which sucked. My FH pretty much told the precana people that after baptism, he never even went to church - they really don't care. At my precana they only wanted to hear happy stuff, if it looked like you had an issue with something, they just skipped right over you. I hated it!

Re: Just got home from 1st Precana

I had to do the focus group too. That was like double precana. We had to complete like 100 multiple choice questions and then come back to discuss it. Precana itself wasn't too bad. One couple lived together. One of the couples giving precana just found out the first day we had precana that their daughter was moving in with her boyfriend and they weren't married. The last session we got to talk about sexuality.........It wasn't too bad though. We had pretty cool couples to deal with. One younger couple and one older.