kids

kellyannebrennan Posted: Oct 29, 2007 11:43 PM

kids

so here's my question; I really want to keep the numbers down for the RH and honestly see no need to have kids there. That being said, my god-daughter asked if she could be in my wedding long ago so I have her as one of my BM's (she's 12). Now, how do I not invite her sister (18) her brother (15)? Sounds like just those other two aren't a big deal but then the other side of the family has 5 more kids around the same age. If I invite them all, now I've got freaking romper room. I'm afraid my god-daughters mother will be offended because I didn't invite her other kids and my other side of the family will get offended if I do invite those kids and not theirs. Advice?

Brian and Marie Posted: Oct 29, 2007 11:49 PM

Re: kids

I had an adult only reception. The ONLY children were those in the BP and their siblings!! I felt that I had to include the siblings!

kellyannebrennan Posted: Oct 30, 2007 12:03 AM

Re: kids

really? You think I have to include her siblings? I'm afraid my fathers side will definit. get upset that the cousins on my mothers side were invited but no my cousins on my fathers side. (my god-daughter is also my cousin on my mothers side)

Rejjie Posted: Oct 30, 2007 01:23 AM

Re: kids

I'm in the same boat only WAY worse. If all the kids come, it will be about 30 kids from ages 3 months to 15 years. I'm mortified. I just can't say they can't come - what would they do with them? They're all out of towners. I'm thinking of including babysitters in the information packets as a hint, but I'm not making anyone do it. I think it's fair to say bridal party and siblings only for you.

jtgarsik Posted: Oct 30, 2007 01:24 AM

Re: kids

ok so here's the deal....i'm from a humongous family & totally feel ur pain! We had an adult only reception but i made a cut off age of 16(some do 18)....u most certainly do not have to include the siblings....my little cousin was my flower girl...so she stayed for the reception, and i invited her 18yr. old sister.....they also have a 14yr.old brother & a 9 yr. old sister...they were not invited & i never had any problems with hearing about it from anyone. The bottom line is, you do what u have to do....& either do it 100% or dont....i'm sure u know u can't invite some kids without the others unless they're involved in the actual bp. You do what you have to do & people will understand. If anybody actually says anything about it, you simply say you HAD to cut ur numbers down because of the hall so you had to make a cutoff age for an adult only reception...and that u also can't make any exceptions because someone else could be offended. I'm tellin' u it's a piece of cake. everything will work out & be just fine no worries!

PegaLega Posted: Oct 30, 2007 01:27 AM

Re: kids

I agree with Taryn, you do what you have to do. We have a million children on both sides of my family and only one on DHs. Not by choice we got suckered into allowing him to be our ringbearer-which was great when he dragged the pillow down the aisle.....besides that. My invites said 'adult reception' and guess what? We had children that were un-invited at our wedding. Didnt even notice. That is until I got my pics back. Invite who you choose to invite. its your business. if people get upset then they do-they need to understand that you are paying alot of money for their children to eat when they probably wont.

kellyannebrennan Posted: Oct 30, 2007 02:38 AM

Re: kids

How did you include 'adult only' in your wedding invitation?

november152008 Posted: Oct 30, 2007 07:39 AM

Re: kids

on the invitation you only address to mr&mrs do not put and family give your god daughter who is in your bridal party her own invitation....

adults only generally means 18&up

Brian and Marie Posted: Oct 30, 2007 08:02 AM

Re: kids

Posted by kellyannebrennan

really? You think I have to include her siblings? I'm afraid my fathers side will definit. get upset that the cousins on my mothers side were invited but no my cousins on my fathers side. (my god-daughter is also my cousin on my mothers side)

I don't thnk you have to, but I felt uncomfortable not inviting the siblings. I ended up having a total of 8 children there, and that was plenty. I also set the age at 18. Anyone 18 and up were invited. Anyone 21+ with a guest (regardless if they had a steady bf/gf) But thats just me. You do what you feel you need to do!! Good Luck!!!
And I'd make sure you def add 'Adult Reception' on your invite. We didn't and we had quite a few people respond and they added there litttle rug rats to their total number coming!!! I was pissed, but nonetheless it was uncomfortable having to call them and tell them that their precious children couldn't come!! We actually had a couple who said they weren't coming then and we haven't spoken to them since!

FutureMrs.T Posted: Oct 30, 2007 08:26 AM

Re: kids

I am inviting children from my family, it was my FMIL's decision not to invite the children from her side of the family....

zoe282 Posted: Oct 30, 2007 09:11 AM

Re: kids

I think you are going to start playing on a slippery slope. If you think you can get away with just inviting the siblings of your god daughter then i say go for it....I would talk to the other side to tell them why you want it that way. I am not having kids at our wedding...but i do have 2 flower girls and 1 ring bearer (all in the sam family) FH side has little kids but we put our foot down to only the kids in the bridal party. Like you said it starts to add up and I personally think a wedding is an adult affiar. I would honestly speak to your side and your FH's side and come to some sort of agreement.....

08JulyBride Posted: Oct 30, 2007 09:19 AM

Re: kids

My FH feels strongly about including the kids on his side of the family.. so that's what we're doing. I personally feel how do you invide some kids and not others when they're are of equal relation to you.. but obviously everyone has different opinions.

I think it also depends on how late your wedding is too.. if its a Saturday reception starting at 7 or 8, its more understandable.. but if you're having a saturday afternoon reception, how do you say no kids? I'm having a twilight Sunday wedding (5:00).. so I'm kind of in the middle of that.. but like I mentioned, we're having the kids.. probably about 20 of them under 13 (shoot me now).

B22 Posted: Oct 30, 2007 11:23 AM

Re: kids

I invited the siblings of my Junior Bridesmaid and no one else...

and we have PLENTY of children in my family.

tough nuggies.. their sister is in the wedding, I didnt want them to get jealous. (They are 10 & 6)

No one questioned me so I assume everyone understood.

B22 Posted: Oct 30, 2007 11:26 AM

Re: kids

Posted by kellyannebrennan

How did you include 'adult only' in your wedding invitation?

you don't .. you just list those invite.

if you invite the siblings it would be:
mr & mrs so & so and family...

if youre just inviting the BM & her parents it would be seperate invitations:

Mr & mrs so & so

Miss so & so (BM's name)

melissankurt07 Posted: Oct 30, 2007 11:30 AM

Re: kids

I only invited the children that were in my bridal party. In your situation I would say that the one sister is 18 and the brother is 15. To me they are considered more like adults so I think you could get away with including them. It is your wedding.. you have to do what you have to do. I am sure nobody will say anything.

On my invitation we put... Please join us for an Adult Reception at 6:00pm blah blah blah....

Brian and Marie Posted: Oct 30, 2007 11:38 AM

Re: kids

Posted by carolinep24

Posted by kellyannebrennan

How did you include 'adult only' in your wedding invitation?

you don't .. you just list those invite.

if you invite the siblings it would be:
mr & mrs so & so and family...

if youre just inviting the BM & her parents it would be seperate invitations:

Mr & mrs so & so

Miss so & so (BM's name)

I did that and still got numerous responses with their kids added!! If I could go back in time I would've added ADULT RECEPTION

kellyannebrennan Posted: Oct 31, 2007 02:14 PM

Re: kids

Thanks ladies. I think I'll just send seperate invitations to the BM and her parents and make sure to put 'please join us for an adult reception at 6p.m' or whatever.

Cacarina Posted: Oct 31, 2007 02:20 PM

Re: kids

Romper room??? I hardly think 15 and 18 year olds count as kids. I am not having kids under 11 unless they are in the bridal party.

bluegreen08 Posted: Oct 31, 2007 02:26 PM

Re: kids

i agree with above. if you think you can get away with inviting just your god-daughter i'd send her parents one invite, and send her a separate one.

then tell people adult only reception except for the bridal party.

i'm pretty sure we are having an adult only reception, but it's easy because there aren't really any young kids. i have one cousin who is a very mature 7, and my next youngest cousin will be 15 (the rest 17+). FH's youngest cousin will be 17. I don't really consider them kids, and we are very close.

None of our friends have kids, and my parents friends dont really expect their kids to be invited. I'm pretty sure we're not going to invite extended family kids who we arent that close with.

The only other exception might be one of my moms best friends who is OOT -- she has one daughter who will be 14?

MrsG2007 Posted: Oct 31, 2007 02:33 PM

Re: kids

I feel for you all...I would say other than including 'adult reception' on the invitation...make sure to speak to the people you know who have children and express to them that due to budget restraint you could not invite children or siblings of bm's....and leave it at that...I had many people not come to my wedding because of this....and you know what...tough!!