Kids sleeping in your bed. Im watching Nanny 911.

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Posted by june262004

Oh im not saying its bad once in a while and when they are babies. BUT at 5 and 3 EVERYnight thats a little nuts.

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I agree that is a little nuts. I don't understand it myself.

Emma (almost 3) slept with DH and I until she was 14 months. Now shes in her own bed. She will wake up maybe 2x a week around 4AM and come in with us. Shes so cuddely. Jeremy (3 months) is also sleeping with us because I am breastfeeding him. He does have a co sleeper for me to put him in right next to the bed. There are mornings when the 4 of us wake up in bed together and its the best feeling. Now I dont think, or I hope, that when the kiddies are 5+ years they will be in their own beds all night every night but until we reach that point I will enjoy snuggling my children while we sleep.

Oh and as for the 'alone time' with DH, we musta found some sometime cause Jeremy's here now

I have a real problem with that. FH thought kids sleeping in the bed was sweet, but then when he heard my POV he changed his mind. I think it is sweet once in awhile for bonding when they are babies, or if they are sic or have a nightmare, but I don't even know if I would like it then. i think one of the most sacred things a husband and wife share is their bed and I just think kids take over so much of your time and energy and space, that you need, even that little physical space to be reserved for you two alone. Also, if you let your kids sleep in bed as they get older, where and when do you draw the line?

I think parents have to let their kids grow up, sometimes force them. When I worked at sears portrait a lot of people would breastfeed right there in the studio, and I got used to it and it didn't bother me at all, excpet in a few cases where they'd just whip it out in front of everyone walking by..but most people weren't like that..anyway the point is once I was REALLY disturbed because I saw a 3 year old, standing up being breastfed...maybe I'm wrong b/c I don't have kids, but that freaked me out. It was very very weird. The child no longer needs breastmilk at that age. I think once the kid eats solid food, with a FORK even, they don't need breastmilk...but I'm no doctor

It is sofunny that this post came up because when I woke up this morning my 3 year old was in my bed.......our house is crowded at the moment since we are doing work and since my nephew has also come to stay with us!!!!!!
I have to say though I do love cuddleing in the morning with her in the morning . I think its ok as long as your child is not dependent on you sleeping with them and they can fall asleep by themselves

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Posted by marymoon

I have a real problem with that. FH thought kids sleeping in the bed was sweet, but then when he heard my POV he changed his mind. I think it is sweet once in awhile for bonding when they are babies, or if they are sic or have a nightmare, but I don't even know if I would like it then. i think one of the most sacred things a husband and wife share is their bed and I just think kids take over so much of your time and energy and space, that you need, even that little physical space to be reserved for you two alone. Also, if you let your kids sleep in bed as they get older, where and when do you draw the line?

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I completely agree. My parents used to let me hop into their bed when I was little whenever I got scared or had a bad dream or whatever excuse I came up with. One day when I was about 4 or 5 yrs old they decided that was it for me jumping in their bed and it was a very difficult process for them to break me of that habit. I think it's better not to start so I don't plan on letting our son sleep in the bed with us for that reason and the fact that I agree with you about having one thing left for ourselves as a married couple.

Didn't someone famous say 'sharing your bed with a child is the most loving thing you can do?'

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Posted by kptoys

Didn't someone famous say 'sharing your bed with a child is the most loving thing you can do?'

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that is too funny

Kristin,
for some people I think it is a once in a while thing that gets out of hand, for other people it is intentional & part of 'attachment parenting'

Here is
a link with more info on the subject.

Eww...I bet Michael Jackson would be all over this post!!

OMG, Tourist did you read any of those articles?

In ' Co-Sleeping: Another Way To Promote Infant Health', the author says that if you want unlimited access to your sexual partner you should get a cat instead of a baby! ...the heII?

Were these written by the creative team of 7th Heaven?

Why are people okay with making their marriage their last priority?

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

OMG, Tourist did you read any of those articles?

In ' Co-Sleeping: Another Way To Promote Infant Health', the author says that if you want unlimited access to your sexual partner you should get a cat instead of a baby! ...the heII?

Were these written by the creative team of 7th Heaven?

Why are people okay with making their marriage their last priority?

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The beds not the only place for mommies and daddies to have some 'together time'

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

OMG, Tourist did you read any of those articles?

In ' Co-Sleeping: Another Way To Promote Infant Health', the author says that if you want unlimited access to your sexual partner you should get a cat instead of a baby! ...the heII?

Were these written by the creative team of 7th Heaven?

Why are people okay with making their marriage their last priority?

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I just quickly scanned it- I had read something on the subject a while back. I must have missed that part. They do have a point though, even if your child isn't in your bed, they do make it dificult to have 'unlimited access', but as Kptoys pointed out & those of you with 8 trillion siblings know, there are ways to find time to 'be intimiate' as Cyborg would say


ETA- if I had a child I woudn't let them in our bed --it' too dangerous-- we are both jumpy, flailing sleepers.

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Posted by marymoon

there was a DrPhil I caught the end of about marriages. And this woman ahd written an article saying that hr husband was her primary relationship in her life and in some ways that relatioship was more important than the ones with her children. She felt she could live without her children more than she could live w/o her husband. It sounded SO harsh at first, and all of these woman jumped all over her, but she had a lot of good points. Your relationship w/ your husband has to be primary one. You can't expec a relationship with a child to build the foundation of a family. your relationship with your children has to stem form a relationship w/ your husband. And then this man was on the panel and he asked all of these women who said the jounralist was so horrible about their sex lives, and most of them said ti was nonexistent and their mariages were siffering, and it effects the whole family. Anyway, I diond't mean to hijakc, but it just really ocnvinced me that you need to make sacred space and time for your marriage.

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I totally agree. I think the parents' relationship has to be the priority because it's the foundation for the whole family.

I'm not opposed to cuddling, either. But I think that when it comes to kids and sleep, the things you do when they are tiny set the stage for the long-term. I have a friend whose toddler won't nap unless he's allowed to fall asleep on her. This started when he was very small. So she never gets a break because she IS naptime. I don't think that's healthy for either of them.

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Posted by tourist

I just quickly scanned it- I had read something on the subject a while back. I must have missed that part. They do have a point though, even if your child isn't in your bed, they do make it dificult to have 'unlimited access', but as Kptoys pointed out & those of you with 8 trillion siblings know, there are ways to find time to 'be intimiate' as Cyborg would say


ETA- if I had a child I woudn't let them in our bed --it' too dangerous-- we are both jumpy, flailing sleepers.

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Actually, Kptoys is right, there are other places (and coming from a family with 8 kids, that means my parents found them!).

And it really is all about what the parents are comfortable with and what they think is best for their children.

I guess the reason I'm against it for myself (aside from bad dreams or thunderstorms etc) is because I can barely tolerate sleeping in a bed with Mr Boots and his jimmy legs... why would I add a tiny, possibly fussy child to that!

What some people dont understand is when you have a child you get VERY sleep deprived and when you go to bed with your baby with you they sleep SOOOOOO well. You get used to sleeping through the night with the baby with you and it becomes a habit... then you have to break the habit before it gets to be ridiculous, like a 16 year old.

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Posted by kptoys

Emma (almost 3) slept with DH and I until she was 14 months. Now shes in her own bed. She will wake up maybe 2x a week around 4AM and come in with us. Shes so cuddely. Jeremy (3 months) is also sleeping with us because I am breastfeeding him. He does have a co sleeper for me to put him in right next to the bed. There are mornings when the 4 of us wake up in bed together and its the best feeling. Now I dont think, or I hope, that when the kiddies are 5+ years they will be in their own beds all night every night but until we reach that point I will enjoy snuggling my children while we sleep.

Oh and as for the 'alone time' with DH, we musta found some sometime cause Jeremy's here now

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You had time with DH because Emma isn't in bed with you every night. I'm saying that people who have 2 kids in bed with them every night must find it hard to spend time alone together. I am all for having Kiera share the bed with us from time to time. She wasn't even in her own room until she was 5 months old. But I think having 2 kids at those ages in your bed every night is a little extreme.