Learn from People's Mistakes

Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...

I've been to weddings where:

-Bridesmaids' dates were seated with the 'random' table. It was so obvious that he didn't know anyone. He should have been seated with his date.

-The acoustics were poor during the ceremony so none of the guests could hear the vows.

-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.

-Big centerpieces that blocked the view from seeing the bride and groom as well as blocking the view from the people sitting in front of you.

-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.

-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.

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Posted by Bridex100

-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.

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i agree with these. but i think that the last one can be difficult to modify too much. mostly that's the case if the ceremony will be at a place other than the reception. it's good to try to make it as convenient as possible for all, but i don't think it's always so easy to do.

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Posted by Bridex100

Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...

I've been to weddings where:


-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.

-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.

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I think these two might be a little harsh.
What do you mean by 'tacky?' Some people give out favors you might consider 'tacky' because that is all they can afford and want to give their guests something.

Yes, we all hate having hours between the ceremony and reception, but sometimes that can't be helped - you want an evening reception, but your house of worship can only give you a certain time for your ceremony.

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Posted by Bridex100

I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I was trying to start a helpful thread.

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I understand, I didn't want to make you feel bad. Just trying to show you how some people might interepret some of things you posted....
You always have to remember there are all kinds of people on here with all kinds of weddings.
Also 'tacky' is one of those taboo words that gets people into a frenzy.

We will have about an hour between when our wedding ends and the cocktail hour begins. The reception is about a 10 minute drive, so guests will have roughly 45 minutes to 'kill' in between. I was considering typing up directions from the church to the reception to have handed out while the receiving line is going on, since typical direction cards list directions from the major parkways, which my guests who are at the church will not need.

What do you all think of making a brief list of suggested 'places to go' to put on the back of these directions? For instance, there are several nice shopping areas (like Woodbury Common) in the area.

I want to avoid people going to the diner or Starbucks in between, which I know people do! After all, I want them to be hungry for the cocktail hour!

I agree with the thoughts, though 'tacky' is a taboo word it does have its place in cases.
I was in a wedding party that had a 3 hour break between the ceremony and the CH, and while I didn't really notice it b/c we were taking pics and stuff, my mom had a difficult time figuring something out. The wedding was at the East Winds so she went to Greenport and wandered around. Unfortunetly this is something that can't always be avoided.

Can I define tacky favors? :)

My friend's bride's idea of a favor was to take a polaroid of herself at the wedding for each guest. NOT with each guest and NOT with her husband. JUST her. She had each guest take a Polaroid of her blowing a kiss and signed them xx Ronnie

If any of you have that same idea - please refrain. It was the joke of the wedding. OH no... wait the other joke was the HUMONGOUS portrait that she had painted and posted over the cake - She was sitting in a big *** chair with the groom's face buried in her dress and her hand on his head... like she was blessing him. It was ridiculous. :)

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Posted by mycrayon1

I agree with the thoughts, though 'tacky' is a taboo word it does have its place in cases.
I was in a wedding party that had a 3 hour break between the ceremony and the CH, and while I didn't really notice it b/c we were taking pics and stuff, my mom had a difficult time figuring something out. The wedding was at the East Winds so she went to Greenport and wandered around. Unfortunetly this is something that can't always be avoided.

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mine will be similar, but there will be about a 45 minute ride b/w the church and the ch. so that might kill some time as well. in my case, it is difficult to avoid the 3 hour gap b/w the church and the ch.

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Posted by 777Bride

We will have about an hour between when our wedding ends and the cocktail hour begins. The reception is about a 10 minute drive, so guests will have roughly 45 minutes to 'kill' in between. I was considering typing up directions from the church to the reception to have handed out while the receiving line is going on, since typical direction cards list directions from the major parkways, which my guests who are at the church will not need.

What do you all think of making a brief list of suggested 'places to go' to put on the back of these directions? For instance, there are several nice shopping areas (like Woodbury Common) in the area.

I want to avoid people going to the diner or Starbucks in between, which I know people do! After all, I want them to be hungry for the cocktail hour!

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On the direction cards i included with the invites, i put directions specifically from the church.

I think it's a great idea to list the things to do in the area and how to get there- they'll appreciate it. Maybe you can put it on the back of the program.

i have time in between, we're bringing the OOT guests back to the hotel so they can freshen up and then go to the reception.

something tells me this thread might ruffle some feathers.

my only thing i saw at a wedding, had nothing to do with the wedding, and everything with the couple--as before they were announced the B&G got into an argument the groom said to his new wife 'Just shut the f**k up and come the f**k on damnit'

i said to myself, 'omg that would NEVER be me, i'd castrate him before i let my man talk to me like that'

I promise my intent was good when I started the thread!

I thought people would say things like make sure you have flip flops bc the bride could barely walk at the end of the night....

I was just thinking of one wedding where ALL the guests were talking about how bad the favors were vs. talking about the beautiful bride. I don't think it's because the guests were malicious or shallow. The favor was just that bad. This could easily be avoided.

And when I mentioned the awkward time, I had gone to a wedding in the scorching heat in a somewhat remote area. After hanging out at Starbucks for an hour, we went to the local CVS, then we got slurpees from 7-Eleven and literally just sat in the car....We ate pastries at Starbucks because we were hungry and then couldn't enjoy the reception food at all.

Tacky is something you can't use or display and gives favors a bad name... :D

We all got it, so we know what it is!

Ie, I've gotten something ugly that looks like keychain or xmas tree ornament and it's collecting dust. And also go long stem rose in crystal rose that doesnt have any place in my home...

Here's more things that are wedding no-no's

- if you know there are alot of kids coming and the couple didn't designat e a play area for kids so they get bored and run about causing havoc!

- making guests wait 2 or more hours before you serve food!

- having a ceremony longer than 1 hour - give us a break!!!

- allowing too many speeches, enough is enough! your grandmother's third cousin once removed doesn't need to make a speech too!

- hogging the dance floor with more rituals/ceremonies during the reception

- not enough seats at cocktail hour

I have to say that some of these things definitely cannot be avoided, or might be the personal preference of the couple....

For example, I actually enjoyed the private exchange of my vows - I think it made it very personal and private for the two of us and the Deacon....honestly it is nice to be a guest and hear the vows, but it is such a personal and special thing that it really doesn't necessarily have to be broadcast on a microphone.

Also, I had 3 hours between my ceremony and reception - I wanted that time to spend with my BP taking pics and enjoying some special celebrating time with them before the reception. It was honestly one of the most memorable parts of our day.

However, that being said, I understand what you mean about people having things and you not wanting to have them at your wedding. I feel this way about alot of things I have seen at weddings, but I don't know that I would write about them here, so as not to offend anyone.

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Posted by rojerono

Can I define tacky favors? :)

My friend's bride's idea of a favor was to take a polaroid of herself at the wedding for each guest. NOT with each guest and NOT with her husband. JUST her. She had each guest take a Polaroid of her blowing a kiss and signed them xx Ronnie

If any of you have that same idea - please refrain. It was the joke of the wedding. OH no... wait the other joke was the HUMONGOUS portrait that she had painted and posted over the cake - She was sitting in a big *** chair with the groom's face buried in her dress and her hand on his head... like she was blessing him. It was ridiculous. :)

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I'm sorry but that is hysterical!!!!!!!

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Posted by Bridex100

I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I was trying to start a helpful thread.

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I think its a brilliant thread!!

-I think you should avoid extending CH on a whim. My parents went to a wedding where they did this because CH was outside and it was gorgeous out. BUT these RHs have everything timed perfectly so the dinner was 1/2 hr later but had been prepared already and by the time people got the food it was only warm and kinda dry.

-Keep the # and length of speeches to a minimum!

-Dont make a big deal about people leaving when they come to say goodbye. One time at a wedding we had to leave early because we had a three hour drive ahea of us and the bride was all like 'Ohh do you REALLY have to go?? I wish you could stay? Why do you need to leave so early?' It went from a sweet awww she cares about us feeling to a complete guilt trip.

-If you planned on having part of the weddnig outside but the weather isnt technically cooperating that day...Do NOT force guests outside because you wanted an outdoor ceremony/CH if it is a 'little' rainy, a 'little' heat wave, etc. These people came from all over to share your day and dont need to be wet or sweltering because you always envisioned getting married outside. Didn't you also envision your guests not being miserable at your wedding
?

Seriously... I love this thread.

I have another one... have fun but try not to get too plastered. My girlfriend got so drunk at her wedding that she joined the band to serenade her husband (bad move - she knows her singing is awful), mooned her bridal party and made a toast about how great her new husband was at a certain, eh hemm... ACT. This was before she puked and passed out.

Moral? Eat and drink responsibly - or live with a story like that following you around FOREVER!

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Posted by rojerono

Can I define tacky favors? :)

My friend's bride's idea of a favor was to take a polaroid of herself at the wedding for each guest. NOT with each guest and NOT with her husband. JUST her. She had each guest take a Polaroid of her blowing a kiss and signed them xx Ronnie

If any of you have that same idea - please refrain. It was the joke of the wedding. OH no... wait the other joke was the HUMONGOUS portrait that she had painted and posted over the cake - She was sitting in a big *** chair with the groom's face buried in her dress and her hand on his head... like she was blessing him. It was ridiculous. :)

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I definitely believe you just defined tacky favor! And I definitely agree with the cut off the speech thing...too many is NG

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Posted by melbalalala

-If you planned on having part of the weddnig outside but the weather isnt technically cooperating that day...Do NOT force guests outside because you wanted an outdoor ceremony/CH if it is a 'little' rainy, a 'little' heat wave, etc. These people came from all over to share your day and dont need to be wet or sweltering because you always envisioned getting married outside. Didn't you also envision your guests not being miserable at your wedding
?

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Oh, I've seen this before. When we first went to see our place, there was a couple getting married on the pier and it was starting to rain, then it started to pour and all the guests left and went inside. the only people left on the pier was the wedding party, the couple and the officiant. it was so sad, i felt horrible for her! but it wasn't a bad day out so she prob had no idea that would happen. Can't control the weather!