Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...
I've been to weddings where:
-Bridesmaids' dates were seated with the 'random' table. It was so obvious that he didn't know anyone. He should have been seated with his date.
-The acoustics were poor during the ceremony so none of the guests could hear the vows.
-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.
-Big centerpieces that blocked the view from seeing the bride and groom as well as blocking the view from the people sitting in front of you.
-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.
-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.
neener1211
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by rojerono
Seriously... I love this thread.
I have another one... have fun but try not to get too plastered. My girlfriend got so drunk at her wedding that she joined the band to serenade her husband (bad move - she knows her singing is awful), mooned her bridal party and made a toast about how great her new husband was at a certain, eh hemm... ACT. This was before she puked and passed out.
Moral? Eat and drink responsibly - or live with a story like that following you around FOREVER!
wow!!!! I love this thread...
ssdbk
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Here's one that may help some people........I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had a lot of single friends who were not invited with dates. The band played mostly slow songs, picked by the bride and groom. I thought that was very inconsiderate. It was like an 8th grade dance. There was nothing for the single people to do. I didn't care to dance with the groom's nerdy friends ( I was seeing someone anyway) but I would have gone on the dance floor with a group of girls. If you are having a bunch of single people, play some fun music for them.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by Bridex100
Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...
I've been to weddings where:
-Bridesmaids' dates were seated with the 'random' table. It was so obvious that he didn't know anyone. He should have been seated with his date.
-The acoustics were poor during the ceremony so none of the guests could hear the vows.
-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.
-Big centerpieces that blocked the view from seeing the bride and groom as well as blocking the view from the people sitting in front of you.
-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.
-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.
I can;t imagine BMs not sitting with their dates!
As for poor acoustics - if you have a good DJ or hall, they know all about this!
Gift area - thats also the hall's job - they should definitely be organized to have that clearly established!!!
Big CP's - it helps if your florist knows the hall, but really, everyone should have a good understanding of the hall, and the reality of big CP's at tables...
Cheap favors - hats the only thing we have control over!
Time in between - the only way that can be avoided if you take your pics before the ceremony, or get married at the same place you are having your reception!!!
rojerono
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
I have one that isn't funny - just irritating.;
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were vegetarian. They had a cuisine that was all vegan. And hardly anyone ate.
Now vegan can be tasty - but this was a LAME menu. It was basically a lot of salad.
We left and went to McDonald's.
We went to another wedding where they did not serve alcohol. No - they weren't alcoholics... just kinda cheap. There was no DJ - just a big old boom box. And when people FINALLY started to get into it and dance, the husband turned off the music and announced it was cake cutting time.
We still talk about that as the WORST wedding ever.
AllJoy
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
I know what you mean about the favors. However, some of us are paying for everything ourselves and we don't have the $$ for fancy favors. Besides, do people really use them anyway??
As far as the time between ceremony & reception, I totally agree, but that is picture taking time..
CaseyVM214
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by Audreygirl
Posted by Bridex100
-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.
i agree with these. but i think that the last one can be difficult to modify too much. mostly that's the case if the ceremony will be at a place other than the reception. it's good to try to make it as convenient as possible for all, but i don't think it's always so easy to do.
I am not offended..but I must say I have a lot of time between my ceremony and reception and I planned it that way on purpose...I wanted to take pictures on the beach and I wanted to extend my day and spend extra time with my fiance and bridal party...My in town and oot guest have figured out a way to ocupy themselves. I have been to wedding where this has happened and I went to a diner and got a capichino...a bride and groom has one day and I dont think this is unreasonable at all...helpful thread though.
laural2979
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by CaseyVM214
Posted by Audreygirl
Posted by Bridex100
-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.
i agree with these. but i think that the last one can be difficult to modify too much. mostly that's the case if the ceremony will be at a place other than the reception. it's good to try to make it as convenient as possible for all, but i don't think it's always so easy to do.
I am not offended..but I must say I have a lot of time between my ceremony and reception and I planned it that way on purpose...I wanted to take pictures on the beach and I wanted to extend my day and spend extra time with my fiance and bridal party...My in town and oot guest have figured out a way to ocupy themselves. I have been to wedding where this has happened and I went to a diner and got a capichino...a bride and groom has one day and I dont think this is unreasonable at all...helpful thread though.
As a guest I would rather have too much time then too little time in between the ceremony and reception. If there's a couple of hours then I can at least go home (or to the hotel) and relax and freshen up a little. If there's only an hour then it's harder to fill that time.
Audreygirl
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
i think that having a shorter amount of time in between requires most consideration for people who live close enough to attend the ceremony and reception and also need no hotel, but too far/inconvenient to go back home in that time.
this has happened to me a few times. i lived in nj (now i live in queens) and the weddings were in westchester, bronx, long island, etc, so they were easy enough to get to, but i did not need to book a room for the night. in those instances the time in between the ceremony and the reception is when i noticed the gap most.
Tracyann1976
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
I went to a wedding in which I did not see where the donation was given to. That was the favor and they had a sign or two on each table that said where it was made to. I think it's nicer to give each person something- even if it's a small scroll saying where the donation was made to.
Bridex100
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
i don't think it's a big deal if you don't give a favor.
i considered skipping the favor altogether.
Meaghan729
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by Bridex100
-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.
-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one
I completely disagree with these two.
I have never been to a wedding where there was a gift table. I always hand the card/gift to the bride or groom!
One man's tackiness is another man's treasure!! If you dont like it, throw it out or give it away. You shouldnt expect a favor, so why would you care if it is 'cheap' and 'tacky'
You are supposed to be there to celebrate a couples marriage, not to get non-cheap gifts.
eta: and I dont think we should have a thread about other brides mistakes...some people do things differently than others!
smurray
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by Bridex100
-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.
-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one
eta: and I dont think we should have a thread about other brides mistakes...some people do things differently than others!
I really don't think she ment harm w/ this thread, i think she just used her words in a manner that can be take negative, or positve.
As she stated her intentions was to get feed back like 'make sure you bring a spare pair of shoes', 'try to accomodate to your guest the best way you can' things of that nature.
This is not the first thread like this, their plenty their just worded differently like 'ladies remeber this', or 'Ladies keep in mind'
We all know that you can't please everyone as we see everyday, or in this post for that matter. So if we did take this post in negative way lets flip it to the positive side and make the best of it w/ positive feedback towards what she really wanted this thread to be about
AMGBride2008
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
I agree... even though I think some of the things listed on this thread are absolutely hysterical... we may be chuckling at someone else's expense.
On another note... some things, like time between ceremony and reception or length of ceremony or speeches given or the nubmer of dance done are all up to the bride and groom, it's there special day so if they want to have a 2 hour ceremony than so be it... as a guest I might b*tch and moan but hey, it's not my day....
I have gotten some useful tips though from this thread on why I should have a little more time between the ceremony and the reception... so... THANKS!
Let's be considerate of future and past brides ladies. Keep it upbeat and light-hearted!
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
I think its a brilliant thread!!
Me too!!!
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by rojerono
I have one that isn't funny - just irritating.;
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were vegetarian. They had a cuisine that was all vegan. And hardly anyone ate.
Now vegan can be tasty - but this was a LAME menu. It was basically a lot of salad.
We left and went to McDonald's.
We went to another wedding where they did not serve alcohol. No - they weren't alcoholics... just kinda cheap. There was no DJ - just a big old boom box. And when people FINALLY started to get into it and dance, the husband turned off the music and announced it was cake cutting time.
We still talk about that as the WORST wedding ever.
We wanted to do a vegan wedding - if you have gourmet food, no one will notice!
Harborclub has done vegan weddings in the past that were a hit - but since my dad was paying, he got the final say - Harborclub DID throw in a fabulous vegan entree for free, on top of the regular flesh meats - fish, chicken, food, etc....
rojerono
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by rojerono
I have one that isn't funny - just irritating.;
I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were vegetarian. They had a cuisine that was all vegan. And hardly anyone ate.
Now vegan can be tasty - but this was a LAME menu. It was basically a lot of salad.
We left and went to McDonald's.
We went to another wedding where they did not serve alcohol. No - they weren't alcoholics... just kinda cheap. There was no DJ - just a big old boom box. And when people FINALLY started to get into it and dance, the husband turned off the music and announced it was cake cutting time.
We still talk about that as the WORST wedding ever.
We wanted to do a vegan wedding - if you have gourmet food, no one will notice!
Harborclub has done vegan weddings in the past that were a hit - but since my dad was paying, he got the final say - Harborclub DID throw in a fabulous vegan entree for free, on top of the regular flesh meats - fish, chicken, food, etc....
I have been to a vegan wedding that was AWESOME... eggplant, portobello - mmm...
But ya gotta do it the RIGHT way! :)
AMGBride2008
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
mmmmmmm.... Flesh! I'm kinda hungry
rojerono
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by KimAMalone
I agree... even though I think some of the things listed on this thread are absolutely hysterical... we may be chuckling at someone else's expense. [/QUOTE
three of the brides I am talking about (and one of them is a member of this board) - will have no problem telling you over and again - DON'T DO WHAT I DID! Lilly - the one who got falling down drunk actually played the video of herself singing at the wedding at a batchelorette party. She dressed up as a professor and gave do's and dont's. It was hysterical.
Stuff will happen. Things won't always be perfect. You need to learn to be a little lighthearted when it comes to the errors. And if you can offer some hazards to sidestep - why not?
strawberryshortcake
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
I have to say I agree with a few of these topics:
Don't seat your bridal party seperately from their date. I just recently went to an out of state wedding and my FH sat with the bride and groom and I was at a table with people who I have never met. I am very social, but it's still uncomfortable. It made me feel like I didn't even have to be there...
I do agree with the centerpieces being in the way. I hate when I can't see across the table...
I have to somewhat agree with the time in between the ceremony and reception. I didn't want to have a large gap but I had to. We are getting married in a church and we wanted an evening reception. There was no way to keep from having a gap...so, this way we will hopefully be in our cocktail hour enjoying our party. This is something that unfortunately was out of our control.
Also I recently went to a wedding where the bride and groom didn't do a receiving line after their ceremony, which I know a lot of people skip now. But they also didn't go to the tables at the reception and thank their guests for coming. I think this is really important...people travel, take off work, get babysitters, give a gift, etc....take the time to visit your guests and let them know that you are glad they are there....
JMO!!
rojerono
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Re: Learn from People's Mistakes
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by Bridex100
-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.
-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one
I completely disagree with these two.
I have never been to a wedding where there was a gift table. I always hand the card/gift to the bride or groom!
One man's tackiness is another man's treasure!! If you dont like it, throw it out or give it away. You shouldnt expect a favor, so why would you care if it is 'cheap' and 'tacky'
You are supposed to be there to celebrate a couples marriage, not to get non-cheap gifts.
eta: and I dont think we should have a thread about other brides mistakes...some people do things differently than others!
I think the point was - don't give favors if you are just doing it because you HAVE TO. One friend went to a wedding where the bride passed around a basket of dollar store stuff - sample soaps, mini bottles of shampoo, talcum powder, pencils. etc... There was a note to 'pass one and pass it on'.
I consider the gift to be the invite. I feel so honored and so blessed when someone cares enough about me to want me to participate in their special day. I don't NEED a favor. And in situations where you are given something like those mentioned above... it feels hollow and kind of makes you feel bad. Like the couple was coerced into offering you something beyond the dinner, the cocktails and the entertainment.
I hope people aren't REALLY taking offense. at this stuff. I think it is important to have a light heart and a good sense of humor. And Lilly, Toni, Jessica and Len's wife.... I hope you don't mind me poking a bit of fun at your expense... especially considering that 3 of the 4 of you constantly remind everyone 'DON'T DO WHAT I DID!'
