Learn from People's Mistakes

Original post by Bridex100

Aug 04, 2006 11:45 AM

Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...

I've been to weddings where:

-Bridesmaids' dates were seated with the 'random' table. It was so obvious that he didn't know anyone. He should have been seated with his date.

-The acoustics were poor during the ceremony so none of the guests could hear the vows.

-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.

-Big centerpieces that blocked the view from seeing the bride and groom as well as blocking the view from the people sitting in front of you.

-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.

-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.

betani Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:26 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

I have one that isn't funny - just irritating.;

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were vegetarian. They had a cuisine that was all vegan. And hardly anyone ate.

Now vegan can be tasty - but this was a LAME menu. It was basically a lot of salad.

We left and went to McDonald's

that *****. my fiance and i are both vegetarian and are planning an all veggie menu too, but we're going after things like risotto - that are veggie but still good and won't intimidate the non veggies out there. i'll make my own food if i have to - i'm NOT having a crappy menu.

the opposite is also irritating though. going to a party where a good number of people are vegetarians or have specific eating needs that are known to the hosts and not having anything to eat or being offered some steamed vegetables or cold pasta that were left over from the sides. that's been every party i've ever been too. =0\

also, as for the favors, if you can afford something extravagent, don't go for tacky. either do nothing or make something. i'm thinking about giving my grandma's biscotti out for mine. simple, cheap, but nice.

rojerono Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:33 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Bettani... TOTALLY agreed. You can do AMAZING Vegan!

I have a good portion of friends who won't touch meat. I plan on having food that works for them, because I want them to enjoy their dinners!

And the biscotti... oh man does that sound good! I found measuring spoons that I think are cute - and I love to cook. So I was thinking of the spoons with a copy of my favorite recipe.

mskittynj Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:35 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Those are good things to think about!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Wintersbride Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:39 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

As far as favors go, we will do a donation. We have no money, and instead of spending what little we have on something that will wind up in the garbage or not what we want...we will donate what we would have spent to a good cause.

Goldi1021 Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:55 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Not looking to perpetuate drama, but this is my perspective on what was considered a 'mistake.'

Posted by Bridex100

-Big centerpieces that blocked the view from seeing the bride and groom as well as blocking the view from the people sitting in front of you.

I will agree with Liza when she said that a florist should know the hall. If the florist does not know the hall, they need to make it their business to familiarize themselves to make sure that their work does not get lost in the grandiosity of a large room OR look like overkill in a small room

We had tall centerpieces. They did not interfere with anyone's ability to communicate across the table. I should also mention that it would have been a 'mistake' not to have high centerpieces as the ceilings at the temple were so incredibly high, low centerpieces would have made the room look like a school gymnasium - CHEAP. For all the money invested by us and our families, we preferred to err on the side of good sense and we were able to do so.

As far as people not being able to see us, we have many pictures of us taken by our guests and not one of them has a centerpiece in the way. I may sound obnoxious here, but if a person is a guest at a wedding, and they would like to see the bride and groom, they should be getting up and sharing in their happiness beside them and not from their seat.

betani Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:55 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by Wintersbride

As far as favors go, we will do a donation. We have no money, and instead of spending what little we have on something that will wind up in the garbage or not what we want...we will donate what we would have spent to a good cause.

i was thinking about a donation too, i'd rather it be meaningful than useless. i'm kinda attached to the biscotti idea though b/c my grandmother died a few years ago. heh, the date i chose happens to be my grandfather's birthday too (he died before i was born). i think i'm gonna wear jewelry from my other two grandparents... woah, tangent. anyways...

yay, someone agrees! =0) everything can be great as long as you do it right. =0P

and that favor idea is really cute. nice and personal too.

sr081906 Posted: Aug 04, 2006 05:57 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by rojerono

I have one that isn't funny - just irritating.;

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom were vegetarian. They had a cuisine that was all vegan. And hardly anyone ate.

Now vegan can be tasty - but this was a LAME menu. It was basically a lot of salad.

We left and went to McDonald's.

We went to another wedding where they did not serve alcohol. No - they weren't alcoholics... just kinda cheap. There was no DJ - just a big old boom box. And when people FINALLY started to get into it and dance, the husband turned off the music and announced it was cake cutting time.

We still talk about that as the WORST wedding ever.

We wanted to do a vegan wedding - if you have gourmet food, no one will notice!

Harborclub has done vegan weddings in the past that were a hit - but since my dad was paying, he got the final say - Harborclub DID throw in a fabulous vegan entree for free, on top of the regular flesh meats - fish, chicken, food, etc....

I will attest to that. The menu was delicious. CH was great.

smara Posted: Aug 04, 2006 07:12 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

I dont have a problem with the thread, but I think the problem was how it was worded in the end.

The beginning says what you wouldnt want for your wedding after seeing it or whatever, which is fine and ,maybe helpful to others. But the end of the post kind of says what not to do for your wedding which may bother ppl. For instance I have the 8hr gap (slight exaggeration) and my favors maybe considered tacky to other, but I love them; this is what I want for my wedding.
Trust me when I say I was not bothered the slightest by the OP, just emphasizing why it might bother others who are more sensitive

Wording is everything... I can say

So for My wedding I dont want a Band (Good way)
or w/o thinking I can write
I hate bands they are so corny, you should really rethink having one (Very Bad way)

smara Posted: Aug 04, 2006 07:16 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by Bridex100
And when I mentioned the awkward time, I had gone to a wedding in the scorching heat in a somewhat remote area. After hanging out at Starbucks for an hour, we went to the local CVS, then we got slurpees from 7-Eleven and literally just sat in the car....We ate pastries at Starbucks because we were hungry and then couldn't enjoy the reception food at all.

Were you at my sisters wedding.. she had the 5 hr gap and her day was one of the hottest days of the summer.

I tell ppl who live far and arent staying at the hotel to not even come to my ceremony or they ahve the option to ahng out at my house or my sister where there will be refreshments.

Jesses Girl Posted: Aug 04, 2006 08:01 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

sometime the break is good. i know sometimes i hate wearing the dress that im wearing to the reception, to the church!

the favors are definitely something to look into...I hate having to twist and turn to see the bride n groom.

Also, if you inviting all kinds of guest and you are having a 'special' menu make sure there is at least chicken. I went to a wedding that the stuff they served was so not something i would ever eat and I didnt eat the whole nite.

i like your thread!

ginny26 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 02:06 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by AllJoy

I know what you mean about the favors. However, some of us are paying for everything ourselves and we don't have the $$ for fancy favors. Besides, do people really use them anyway??

Well, doesn't it depend what the favor is? We gave wine...I think people 'used' it

Keywi231 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 02:07 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

you can never go wrong with candels!

M&LSept1606 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 02:16 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

1) the bride and groom being taken out of the reception to take photos

2) no dinner choices...we all got steak with a few shrimp on top, on top of a scoop of mashed potatoes...good thing we're not vegetarians, or allergic to shrimp!!

SummerBride06 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 02:38 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

i think this is a GREAT thread! i don't think people should get so strung out on other people's words.

1) make sure you have many options at CH. it's the worst when you go to a CH and it's all beef, or all seafood, etc. although i only eat chicken, i made sure we had ALL different options at the CH, even though i knew i'd never touch any of it. everyone should have found something they liked. don't choose only one thing, people eat all different foods even if you don't!

2) expect that if you have a major gap, many OOTers won't come to your ceremony. we had less than 2 hours and a lot of OOTers didn't come to my ceremony, and 2 hours is a very small gap! also, if you're getting married all the way out east, people may not come if there's a big gap. or if your church is in valleystream at 2pm and the reception is at giorgios at 8pm. people just won't come and you need to accept that. for me, the ceremony is what i look forward to most, but sometimes you just can't swing both.

i honestly can't think of any 'mistakes' i made at my wedding that you girls can learn from . the only thing is--don't overplan and make yourself crazy on details. it's just not worth it and your wedding will still be beautiful whether you have a signature cocktail or not.

daniebc16 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 03:50 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by Bridex100

I promise my intent was good when I started the thread!

I understand what you mean. I am actually looking forward to reading this thread so I can avoid doing 'bad' things

lanabean Posted: Aug 05, 2006 03:53 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Your opinion of tacky is someone else's opinion of nice. Be respectful of that.

weddingbunny Posted: Aug 05, 2006 05:22 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by Meaghan729

Posted by Bridex100

-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.

-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one

I completely disagree with these two.

I have never been to a wedding where there was a gift table. I always hand the card/gift to the bride or groom!

One man's tackiness is another man's treasure!! If you dont like it, throw it out or give it away. You shouldnt expect a favor, so why would you care if it is 'cheap' and 'tacky'

You are supposed to be there to celebrate a couples marriage, not to get non-cheap gifts.

eta: and I dont think we should have a thread about other brides mistakes...some people do things differently than others!

eh, I don't know. I don't think it can hurt to get a little bit of a reality check and be reminded that your guests have needs too - and therefore have a thread that states from people's experiences what those needs might be.

for the gift table - it's a royal pain in the bum to have to take every gift that people walk in with, walk it to where it goes, and come back. You're better off just having a table to for people to leave things on. If they really want to hand it to you in person, they will. If not, it's a lot easier on you or whoever is going to have to do all of that gift toting to have a table.

For the favors - if it's cheap and useless, then why waste money on it? Not to mention all of the trash that cheap pointless favors creates. Do a little research into landfills and trash disposal some time. Even a little excess trash makes a negative difference on the environment. A single plastic bag takes about a thousand years to decompose, and when it does, it releases toxins and poisons into the ground. Think of all the packaging on those pointless favors that just got thrown out...

There's no reason to even have favors, so if you can't afford something nice, don't give anything at all. Or give chocolate. At least that will get used. Or even better, do a charity donation. That's something everybody can appreciate.

ncd623 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 07:19 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Why is everyone so G*d Dam* sensitive on this site???? If you do not want to hear other peoples honest opinions maybe you should either not be on a site like this or maybe even live in a bubble. Are people suppose to only say what they think you want to hear or be HONEST! Give me a break already, its getting so........annoying GIRLS!

sarahthegreat Posted: Aug 05, 2006 08:13 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by ncd623

Why is everyone so G*d Dam* sensitive on this site???? If you do not want to hear other peoples honest opinions maybe you should either not be on a site like this or maybe even live in a bubble. Are people suppose to only say what they think you want to hear or be HONEST! Give me a break already, its getting so........annoying GIRLS!

whoa, thats a bit harsh. you don't have to take others advise, and people are sensitive b/c weddings make people nuts.

kateandchris11-06 Posted: Aug 05, 2006 08:13 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

everyone who may have gotten offended on this thread needs to chill out. so what the girl used the word tacky.... that was nice,, i would have used the word ugly, hideous or something or other.. she along with all of us have been to weddings,, where we didnt care for something.... we all have our opinions and thoughts... and i think anyone on here should be aloud to express them without peoplegetting defensive about...

i have noticed that on this website... some people can get really nasty,, and honestly there is no need for it. just relax, have a cocktail.. and back away from the computer.