Learn from People's Mistakes

I have to revive the tacky favor. Don't bother given any if its something competely useless. I have been to three weddings where no favors were given and honestly it didn't bother me one bit.

I expect the banter of angry brides saying they are doing or did this ... so my reply is i am glad you did it at your wedding and i am sure your guests loved your favors. For me if i was at your wedding as i said before I would of just left your favor on the table - my opinion and not gospel.

Going on:

I don't need any almonds (yes i expect the offended bride to cut my throat on this one - if your a traditionalist then i understand that you want it apart of the wedding but still no one eats those things or at least I don't know anyone who does)

Another thing that annoyed me - a bride had a pic of her dog in a santa outfit. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH THAT???? I burned the damn thing and me and my brother laughed as it went into dust. i hear a bride in newsday did the same thing pic of her dog as a favor - no one gives a **** about your dog.

Next:
Everyone giving a speech- bestman, parents maybe grandparents OR sister/bro not everyone that you grew up with.

Lastly:
Music that is WAY too loud or WAY too low. I mean if your ears are ringing like you just left a concert/show then I think you had your music a bit loud. If you can hear people walk across your dance floor i think its a bit low.

---

Posted by Bridex100


-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.

---

I know this is an old thread, but this isn't (IMHO) a problem at a wedding. Envelopes are supposed to be handed directly to the bride and groom, not just left on a table somewhere. Some people do card boxes, but NOT everyone does... Most people don't (I'm not and I've never been to a wedding where that was done). Envelopes should be handed to the bride and groom... I've never had a problem where people did not know to do this when there isn't a card box... I know some people who find card boxes tacky -- it's all a matter of taste.

---

Posted by Audreygirl

---

Posted by mycrayon1

I agree with the thoughts, though 'tacky' is a taboo word it does have its place in cases.
I was in a wedding party that had a 3 hour break between the ceremony and the CH, and while I didn't really notice it b/c we were taking pics and stuff, my mom had a difficult time figuring something out. The wedding was at the East Winds so she went to Greenport and wandered around. Unfortunetly this is something that can't always be avoided.

---

mine will be similar, but there will be about a 45 minute ride b/w the church and the ch. so that might kill some time as well. in my case, it is difficult to avoid the 3 hour gap b/w the church and the ch.

---

SInce we have a time gap between church and RH we are going to have cocktails and small bite sized sandwiches at my parents house for the guests to go and hang out. Probably have music on and just get to hang out and chat....which is good because my parents can talk to everyone tthem and they can enjoy the wedding also!

I started this thread almost 6 months ago BEFORE I learned LIW etiquette.

Please don't crucify me again.

I agree with everything on there but seriously there is NOTHING some people can do about the time...I would do my ceremony later but like most catholic churches our church has saturday mass at 5:00pm so we would have to be done before that and give them time to clean everything up so we have no choice. Also yes we have to take pics so again nothing we can do about it...Our RH has a lounge area downstairs for guests who show up early and they have food, drinks and music for them...Also the church is two blocks from FH's house and FMIL is the type to just invite everyone back to her house if they want and have drinks and food or whatever.

BUt like i said most of us have to do it earlier bc the church gives us that time and wont allow it past 4:00pm.

---

Posted by SummerBride06

i think this is a GREAT thread! i don't think people should get so strung out on other people's words.

1) make sure you have many options at CH. it's the worst when you go to a CH and it's all beef, or all seafood, etc. although i only eat chicken, i made sure we had ALL different options at the CH, even though i knew i'd never touch any of it. everyone should have found something they liked. don't choose only one thing, people eat all different foods even if you don't!

2) expect that if you have a major gap, many OOTers won't come to your ceremony. we had less than 2 hours and a lot of OOTers didn't come to my ceremony, and 2 hours is a very small gap! also, if you're getting married all the way out east, people may not come if there's a big gap. or if your church is in valleystream at 2pm and the reception is at giorgios at 8pm. people just won't come and you need to accept that. for me, the ceremony is what i look forward to most, but sometimes you just can't swing both.

i honestly can't think of any 'mistakes' i made at my wedding that you girls can learn from . the only thing is--don't overplan and make yourself crazy on details. it's just not worth it and your wedding will still be beautiful whether you have a signature cocktail or not.

---

Exactly, i don't expect everyone to come to my ceremony and wouldn't be offended at all if they didn't come...Of course our very close friends and family but especially closest friends have to be there, since they're in our bp...Many weddings I have been to, i only went to the reception. So i wouldn't expect everyone to make it to mine. For everyone else that I know will make it to our ceremony, I will make sure they are accomodated during the big break between ceremoney and CH

learn from me:

Don't take a penny from the in-laws! pay for the wedding yourself!!!!

ETA: My in-laws 'kind' gesture to pay for 1/2 the wedding made for an absolutely miserable 'this is all about me, not the bride and groom' experience.

---

Posted by BRod-Cheng

My photographer gave me some really good advice. Make sure you have breakfast, or lunch as the case may be, before you walk down the aisle or take pictures Hungry grumpy brides and bridal party member do not look good in pictures.

---

I agree with this...I was a BM in my friend's wedding and there was no food at her house before the ceremony. No one had anything to eat from 12 - 6. Some of the bridesmaids got sick...especially since it was a hot day and we had a champagne toast in the limo after the ceremony.

---

Posted by Bridex100

I started this thread almost 6 months ago BEFORE I learned LIW etiquette.

Please don't crucify me again.

---

Oh btw I wasnt crucifying you at all...I just stated my opinion...I posted before i read all the drama lol so didn't know about it. Hey everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I had to mention the time in between because that is such a sensitive subject and alot of people complain about it...I understand their point of view but alot of guests dont also think about the fact that we can't just get anytime we want at the church and that there is a mass after and need to get done by a certain time.

---

Posted by Princess Cut Bride

---

Posted by BRod-Cheng

My photographer gave me some really good advice. Make sure you have breakfast, or lunch as the case may be, before you walk down the aisle or take pictures Hungry grumpy brides and bridal party member do not look good in pictures.

---

I agree with this...I was a BM in my friend's wedding and there was no food at her house before the ceremony. No one had anything to eat from 12 - 6. Some of the bridesmaids got sick...especially since it was a hot day and we had a champagne toast in the limo after the ceremony.

---

Hmmm see this is why these threads are great...I haven't even thought about this yet because i still have alot of time...I guess i figured i would eat breakfast but now after reading this, i will definitely have alot of food ready for everyone at my house...I am not cooking that day lol, so ill have things catered from a local deli, get wraps, some appetizers and stuff like that and plenty of water or whatever else they want.

---

Posted by nifheim

I don't need any almonds (yes i expect the offended bride to cut my throat on this one - if your a traditionalist then i understand that you want it apart of the wedding but still no one eats those things or at least I don't know anyone who does)

---

My FH LOOOOOOVES jordan almonds! He is the only person I haver ever met who does.

Anywho, I've found this thread very helpful. I'm not sure why people get so defensive about it

---

Posted by Bridex100

I started this thread almost 6 months ago BEFORE I learned LIW etiquette.

Please don't crucify me again.

---

It's all good girl! No worries

People may not agree with this one, but try to keep the scripted parts of the reception short and to a minimum. Contrary to many bride's expectations, most of your guests are not wiping away tears during an entire interminable first dance, father/daughter, mother/son, anniversary, bridal party, blah blahblahblah dances. Most people are wishing they could dance, or get up and go to the rest room, or talk, or listen to some decent music. I think I might stick forks in my eyes if I ever hear 'Butterfly Kisses' again. Same thing for the toast and speeches. And when removing the garter starts to get pornographic, it's not just the grannies who are embarrassed. Just keep them all short. You can fade out songs before they're over. All these things are wonderful and touching in moderation. When they go on too long they're boring for your guests.