Learn from People's Mistakes

Original post by Bridex100

Aug 04, 2006 11:45 AM

Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...

I've been to weddings where:

-Bridesmaids' dates were seated with the 'random' table. It was so obvious that he didn't know anyone. He should have been seated with his date.

-The acoustics were poor during the ceremony so none of the guests could hear the vows.

-There was no clear gift area. We didn't know where to put their envelope so we placed it on the table where we got our table numbers.

-Big centerpieces that blocked the view from seeing the bride and groom as well as blocking the view from the people sitting in front of you.

-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.

-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Aug 07, 2006 11:43 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by kara10152006

Although many receptions have open bars, and at the end of the day they are big parties that the couple has worked extremely hard to pay for, there is NO excuse for the couple (or part of the couple) to get so inebriated they pass out at the table!
+ + + + + =

We went to a wedding last year where the groom literally passed out, with his head on the table before dinner!!! This was after he had falllen down a few times on the dance floor. What made it even worse was while he was passed out on the table, his new wife was dancing (didn't really notice him) and kept pretending like she was going to take her top down. She didn't actually do it but she kept leaning over like she was about to pull down her dress.

So much planning and money and they managed to miss the fun and alienate their guests! Definitely a mistake!

Bridex100 Posted: Aug 07, 2006 12:02 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

It's inevitable that you cannot please all your guests. You should just try your best to accommodate them best you can.

I know I have learned a lot from these types of threads. They are not meant to offend brides. There is no reason to defend your own personal wedding decisions.

This thread was supposed to be a helpful resource for future brides who are trying to plan their wedding.

I know I learned so much from the 'have you ever been to a wedding at..' thread before there was a lot of drama.

i know i will make sure the windows of my hall are clean and that the waiters don't pick up my guests' plates prematurely.

stephanielyse Posted: Aug 07, 2006 12:48 PM

.

rojerono Posted: Aug 07, 2006 12:54 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by chapel06

What exactly is a mistake? I looked it up in the dictionary. The definition of 'mistake' is:
'An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.
A misconception or misunderstanding.'
This whole wedding planning process involves so many decisions and so much thought. Most choices about a wedding are personal and purposeful.

I think that we need to change the title of the thread so that more people are happy:

Attempt to Discover What The Majority of Other People Perhaps Would Not Enjoy At Your Wedding If You Care.

itslaurie. Posted: Aug 07, 2006 01:32 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by stephanielyse

If you're too set in your ways to eat anything you're not used to, you deserve to leave hungry.

Posted by stephanielyse
But IMO saying 'Vegan Menu! Yick!' is judging not just my wedding menu, but my lifestyle and something I believe in very strongly. It's not exactly the same as somebody not liking my choice in flowers or my RH.

stephanielyse Posted: Aug 07, 2006 01:37 PM

.

rojerono Posted: Aug 07, 2006 02:04 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

ETA: My apologies for getting defensive about this silly thread. But IMO saying 'Vegan Menu! Yick!' is judging not just my wedding menu, but my lifestyle and something I believe in very strongly. It's not exactly the same as somebody not liking my choice in flowers or my RH.

While I agree with almost EVERYTHING that you say, you need to remember that most people's experience with Vegan cuisine is SEVERELY limited. I do not think the intent was to injure anyone's feelings - she did not say 'Vegans! YICK!'.

I think she was expressing what a LOT of people feel when they will not have the usual choice of chicken, beef or fish.

If you expect people to understand or be respectful of your choices and limits, it is important that you be respectful and understanding of their feelings, opinions and limits as well.

AMGBride2008 Posted: Aug 07, 2006 03:03 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

If you expect people to understand or be respectful of your choices and limits, it is important that you be respectful and understanding of their feelings, opinions and limits as well.

I have a feeling that this topic (vegan vs. non vegan) may get out of hand... Shall we let it go or continue the back and forth... anyone?? (light-hearted!!)

eta: I feel like I need to write 'light-hearted' next to my laughable comments so people don't take them the wrong way

angnick Posted: Aug 07, 2006 03:17 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

We are not vegans but, we made sure that our menu did have a choice for vegans.

As long as you compromise.

say for example we WERE Vegans- BUt the majority of our guests were not. how can it be fair that you have 230 people at your wedding and only 2 of you are vegans?

Whatever, as long as there is a compromise.

Personally, i do not think it is a mistake just a choice that the bride and groom made- it is afterall THERE DAY ===........... ;)

ok- so learning from other people's mistakes:

We went to a wedding where the groom could not see the bride walking down the aisle because he was blocked by the video guy and the photographer -- We made sure that DH could see me walking down the aisle..

Lets try to continue this thread, and get off the vegan topic.

iamvocal72 Posted: Aug 07, 2006 03:45 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Mistake to learn from:

On your invite include a sentance that reads:
'If you have any dietary restrictions please make a note of it or contact ...'

AMGBride2008 Posted: Aug 07, 2006 04:08 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by iamvocal72

Mistake to learn from:

On your invite include a sentance that reads:
'If you have any dietary restrictions please make a note of it or contact ...'

Or better yet... list all dietary restriction that there are with a box next to each one and write 'Please check if apply to you or your guest...'

Audreygirl Posted: Aug 07, 2006 04:10 PM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by KimAMalone

Posted by iamvocal72

Mistake to learn from:

On your invite include a sentance that reads:
'If you have any dietary restrictions please make a note of it or contact ...'

Or better yet... list all dietary restriction that there are with a box next to each one and write 'Please check if apply to you or your guest...'

LMAO!!!

jtgarsik Posted: Aug 08, 2006 12:40 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

i too think the whole time issue depends. Our ceremony is all the way in suffolk county while our reception is in nassau just about 40 minutes away. Our start times are 3 hours apart, but figure an hour at LEAST for our ceremony,(that brings it to 2hours in between) then because our wedding is on a friday, anyone who came to the ceremony straight from work can have time to change if they wish, AND jericho terrace has a brand new georgous lounge for 'early arrival guests' which is incredibly convenient. I wasnt offended by anything...in fact i think this thread COULD be helpful & infact great...but i also think there are probably some people who dont REALLY think before they post, and this could get ugly!

utwo16 Posted: Aug 08, 2006 07:14 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by rojerono

Can I define tacky favors? :)

My friend's bride's idea of a favor was to take a polaroid of herself at the wedding for each guest. NOT with each guest and NOT with her husband. JUST her. She had each guest take a Polaroid of her blowing a kiss and signed them xx Ronnie

If any of you have that same idea - please refrain. It was the joke of the wedding. OH no... wait the other joke was the HUMONGOUS portrait that she had painted and posted over the cake - She was sitting in a big *** chair with the groom's face buried in her dress and her hand on his head... like she was blessing him. It was ridiculous. :)

july06bride Posted: Aug 08, 2006 08:10 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

I am not sure if this is how the bride and groom wanted it , or if it was just how the hall runs their wedding-BUT on Saturday I went to a wedding in CT and they served us salad, manicotti, and dinner all within the first hour and a half. in that time there was No dancing at all...and we could barely hear the background music the DJ was playing

Right after dinner-they played a few songs-and then it was cake cutting...

I personally didnt care for it...but like I said, I am not sure if it was the intentions of the bride and groom or not.

Hisforever Posted: Aug 08, 2006 09:41 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

this is a good thread...

Bridesmaids have bags during the ceremony, and because they have their bags, their phone went off during the ceremony!!!

Putting a ridiculous time on your invitations.. if the wedding starts at 5 why would you put 4?? Why would you want your guests to stand in the lobby and have drinks as a pre-cocktail area.

Drinks in the ceremony

Multiple singers during your ceremony, to buy time.

These are just some of the 'weird' things I have experienced at a wedding I went to in May.

melbalalala Posted: Aug 08, 2006 09:42 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Multiple singers during your ceremony, to buy time.

This is a good one!! And falls under the umbrella 'making the ceremony longer than you have to'!!

ant n tilde Posted: Aug 08, 2006 10:03 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

Posted by jtgarsik

i too think the whole time issue depends. Our ceremony is all the way in suffolk county while our reception is in nassau just about 40 minutes away. Our start times are 3 hours apart, but figure an hour at LEAST for our ceremony,(that brings it to 2hours in between) then because our wedding is on a friday, anyone who came to the ceremony straight from work can have time to change if they wish, AND jericho terrace has a brand new georgous lounge for 'early arrival guests' which is incredibly convenient. I wasnt offended by anything...in fact i think this thread COULD be helpful & infact great...but i also think there are probably some people who dont REALLY think before they post, and this could get ugly!

my ceremony is at 2:30 AND my reception is at 7:30 - and it wasnt really my choice!

My church has confession at 4pm so I didn't want to be rushed out of the church after our ceremony so I wanted 2:30 THEN when we went ot JT he said that CH starts at 7:30 . . . THAT IS A LOT OF TIME! But I can't help it and I hope people don't mind!!

I do agree that it is an inconvenience but sometimes it cant be helped!

july06bride Posted: Aug 08, 2006 10:09 AM

Re: Learn from People's Mistakes

I dont get the multiple singers one...I had multiple singers during the ceremony-but it didn't make the mass any longer than it would have been..and they were fabulous

also-with the time in between ceremony and reception- we had about 3 hours-fortunately most of the oot guests had hotel rooms so it was fine-but really there was no choice-i had the last ceremony time and the earliest reception time. I also would not have done it any differently..we pay a lot of $$$$ for pictures and I dont want to rush them and i dont want to miss the cocktail hour we paid for to accom. a few guests. We all do it, its a part of going to weddings...if they dont like it , they dont have to come to the ceremony...BUT, i have to say no one complained for my wedding...they understand thats just how it goes