Learn from People's Mistakes

I agree that it is the bridal couple's choice as to how they have their wedding. And I also want to say that an all vegetarian menu can be OUTSTANDING. (Have I said mmm... portabellos! lately??)

Now - having said that - I have always felt that if you are going to have a wedding, you should do your best to make your guests feel welcome, loved and appreciated. And by not doing your best to accomodate as many people as possible - then you are not honoring the people that you have invited to participate and celebrate.

Of course you can't please everyone, but it doesn't hurt to make a sincere effort.

Consider my friend who can now admit that it was a really awful idea to have entrees that consisted of miso soup, glazed carrots with cranberries and string beans almondine. She admits she wasn't really thinking about what people would want or enjoy - she just kind of winged it. Even the other vegetarian's in the crowd were hungry all night.

So my suggestion is that if - as a bride to be - you are only concerned about yourself, your ethics and your comfort - you should seriously consider a nice elopement. Otherwise, just give it your best effort ... nobody can fault you for trying your best!

vegetarian/vegan food can be great. my fh and i are having a vegetarian reception and we haven't completed the menu yet, but i think we're gonna stick to things that are vegetarian, but not blatently so. like risotto - it's veggie, but won't scare away any non vegs, or lasagna or something (can you tell i'm italian?). we may included something more obviously veggie (like wheat gluten) but i'm not sure. we also wanna start the meal with a really good salad, like endive with goat cheese, walnuts, and apples... =0)

see, vegetarian isn't gross. it can sound and be delicious too. besides, like ^ said, we're the ones paying for it. plus meat literally makes us really sick (even the smell for me) and i'm NOT being sick on my wedding day.

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Posted by M&LSept1606

1) the bride and groom being taken out of the reception to take photos

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This happened to me at my wedding and I cannot even begin to tell you how angry I was over it once I realized what was happening. All I can say to you girls is to make sure you tell your photographer OVER AND OVER that you are only to be removed from the reception under acts of G-d.

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Posted by betani

vegetarian/vegan food can be great. my fh and i are having a vegetarian reception and we haven't completed the menu yet, but i think we're gonna stick to things that are vegetarian, but not blatently so. like risotto - it's veggie, but won't scare away any non vegs, or lasagna or something (can you tell i'm italian?). we may included something more obviously veggie (like wheat gluten) but i'm not sure. we also wanna start the meal with a really good salad, like endive with goat cheese, walnuts, and apples... =0)

see, vegetarian isn't gross. it can sound and be delicious too. besides, like ^ said, we're the ones paying for it. plus meat literally makes us really sick (even the smell for me) and i'm NOT being sick on my wedding day.

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On top of the regular animal stuff - steak, chicken - there was buttnernut squash entree that was ordered the most by non-veg people. We began with a terrific summery salad with walnuts, tangerines, apples, and a deliciou dressing - no one could stop talking about it!

Look - even meat to meat eaters can be crappy if the food isnt made well!

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Posted by o17range

One of my very closest friend (not from the tri-state area) did 3 things that I would never have done and would encourage you all to take note

1) The Money Dance--Yes, the time of the night where you literally have to pay to dance with the bride or groom.

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The 'money dance' is customary in certain cultures. It's not something that I'm crazy about doing but it is important to my FH because of his heritage. This is not a 'mistake' in my book.

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Posted by rojerono

....Now - having said that - I have always felt that if you are going to have a wedding, you should do your best to make your guests feel welcome, loved and appreciated. And by not doing your best to accomodate as many people as possible - then you are not honoring the people that you have invited to participate and celebrate.

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I absolutely agree, well said! As a host of a party you need to realize that yes, it is YOUR day but you also need to be considerate of your guests too. Whether it be vegan dishes or otherwise...

I recently attended an Indian wedding where they only served indian food. There were a number of non-Indian guests there who actually couldn't eat it 'cus they weren't used to that so they just left the reception hungry...

I also attended an ethnic wedding where the MC spoke only chinese during the ceremony even though there were many guests who don't speak it. Yes, the bride and groom are chinese, but if you're inviting nonchinese speaking guests, be considerate of them as well...

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Posted by strawberryshortcake

Also I recently went to a wedding where the bride and groom didn't do a receiving line after their ceremony, which I know a lot of people skip now. But they also didn't go to the tables at the reception and thank their guests for coming. I think this is really important...people travel, take off work, get babysitters, give a gift, etc....take the time to visit your guests and let them know that you are glad they are there....

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I traveled to Boston for a wedding and the bride and groom never came over to say hello. It infuriated my parents. So, make sure you thank EVERYONE for coming!!!!

Know your own budget.

The worst wedding I ever went to, the reception was held in (and I am not making this up) a school gymnasium. It didn't hold any special meaning to the couple, either, it was all they could afford. They probably could have had a backyard or public park wedding for the same cost. And you could still see the basketball hoops that we so desperately tried to cover with bows & tulle.

I rarely use the word tacky, but this wedding was one instance where it fit.

Another thing I would say is don't let anyone bully you into what they think your wedding should be EVEN IF THEY ARE PAYING FOR IT. Yes, they can have some sort of say, but when it comes down to it, it's yours and FH's wedding and no one elses.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

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Posted by Bridex100

Ever been to a wedding and think you don't want THAT to happen at your own wedding? I'm going to start a thread...

I've been to weddings where:


-Getting a tacky favor at the end. Please don't hand out cheap tacky favors that no one appreciates. It's better not to hand a favor out at all.

-Awkward time in between ceremony and reception. The guests have to 'kill' these hours and often have nowhere to go. Yet it's not enough time to plan something in between.

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I think these two might be a little harsh.
What do you mean by 'tacky?' Some people give out favors you might consider 'tacky' because that is all they can afford and want to give their guests something.

Yes, we all hate having hours between the ceremony and reception, but sometimes that can't be helped - you want an evening reception, but your house of worship can only give you a certain time for your ceremony.

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I totally agree. I started to plan my wedding a year and half early and the later ceremony time at my church was taken, so unfortunately we had to take the earlier one. It was totally out of my hands. Church at 1 pm and CH starts at 630 pm....

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Posted by rojerono

Can I define tacky favors? :)

My friend's bride's idea of a favor was to take a polaroid of herself at the wedding for each guest. NOT with each guest and NOT with her husband. JUST her. She had each guest take a Polaroid of her blowing a kiss and signed them xx Ronnie

If any of you have that same idea - please refrain. It was the joke of the wedding. OH no... wait the other joke was the HUMONGOUS portrait that she had painted and posted over the cake - She was sitting in a big *** chair with the groom's face buried in her dress and her hand on his head... like she was blessing him. It was ridiculous. :)

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What exactly is a mistake? I looked it up in the dictionary. The definition of 'mistake' is:
'An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.
A misconception or misunderstanding.'
This whole wedding planning process involves so many decisions and so much thought. Most choices about a wedding are personal and purposeful.

Although many receptions have open bars, and at the end of the day they are big parties that the couple has worked extremely hard to pay for, there is NO excuse for the couple (or part of the couple) to get so inebriated they pass out at the table!
+ + + + + =

We went to a wedding last year where the groom literally passed out, with his head on the table before dinner!!! This was after he had falllen down a few times on the dance floor. What made it even worse was while he was passed out on the table, his new wife was dancing (didn't really notice him) and kept pretending like she was going to take her top down. She didn't actually do it but she kept leaning over like she was about to pull down her dress.

So much planning and money and they managed to miss the fun and alienate their guests! Definitely a mistake!

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Posted by chapel06

What exactly is a mistake? I looked it up in the dictionary. The definition of 'mistake' is:
'An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.
A misconception or misunderstanding.'
This whole wedding planning process involves so many decisions and so much thought. Most choices about a wedding are personal and purposeful.

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the voice of reason. Finally!

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Posted by Summer07Bride

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Posted by strawberryshortcake

Also I recently went to a wedding where the bride and groom didn't do a receiving line after their ceremony, which I know a lot of people skip now. But they also didn't go to the tables at the reception and thank their guests for coming. I think this is really important...people travel, take off work, get babysitters, give a gift, etc....take the time to visit your guests and let them know that you are glad they are there....

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I traveled to Boston for a wedding and the bride and groom never came over to say hello. It infuriated my parents. So, make sure you thank EVERYONE for coming!!!!

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it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to greet every guest if you have a large wedding. we spent a good 2 hours of our 5 hour reception talking to people and i know we missed some because they weren't at their tables when we went. we did the best we could, but it is impossible.

to knowingly not greet people is tacky, but you can't possibly thank everyone

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Posted by o17range

Another friend of mine (again, not Tri-State area) had a 6:30 ceremony, 7:30 reception with no dinner. Appetizers (unfortunately it wasn't 'heavy' appetizers, I wish it had been) were the only thing served and they took them away 1 hour into the reception. I have never been so hungry! EVERYONE thought we'd be getting dinner because 6:30 is DEFINITELY dinner time.

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Oh! There was a couple here in the DC area that did this. They had a 'desserts only' wedding because it was MUCH cheaper than serving a meal. You gotta do what you gotta do, but the everything: ceremony and reception, fell during dinner time. Even if you ate dinner at 3 before all of the festivities, you were STARVING by mid-reception.

If you are going to do something odd like appetizers or desserts only, plan it so that people CAN eat before or right after!

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Posted by o17range


2) She was the 'little sister' getting married before the big brother and had her brother stand in a pig trough as she danced around him.

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Wait, what happened? What was the significance of this?

I have yet to see a true drama thread! You all crack me up!

The article on The Knot is really fantastic and for what it's worth I am interested in this thread.

And in my own humble opinion - we are all a bit oversensative at times.

Time for a drink!