L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

LauraPete Posted: Feb 17, 2003 11:38 PM

L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

My fiance and I live in Jersey now but all my family as well as the church I should get married in is in Oyster Bay (Nassau county). All of his friends live in Jersey and his parents, Pennsylvania. I have been looking in Nassau and Suffolk county so far but should I also be considering reception sites in Jersey? What is appropriate?

littlecat Posted: Feb 17, 2003 11:42 PM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Hard to say -I would pick Nassau if you want LI -suffolk is a little unfair - However, if money is a concern you might find everything (reception, photographer, etc) to be cheaper in New Jersey.

LauraPete Posted: Feb 17, 2003 11:48 PM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Thanks for responding and yes, money is a concern (we are paying for it all by ourselves). So, my next question is - is there a NJweddings chat room? I am lost when it comes to Jersey. Funny but my fiance isn't really pushing Jersey (but maybe that's just b/c he wants whatever will make me happy ).

lulu Posted: Feb 18, 2003 12:14 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

I'm from LI and my FI and his family are mostly from NJ. Were's having our reception in Oakdale (Suffolk County). It's about a 2 hour ride from where most of his family lives. Alot of them are planning on staying in ahotel the night before.

LauraPete Posted: Feb 18, 2003 12:22 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Hmmm Oakdale - I was thinking of looking at Vanderbuilt Mansion over there.....what site did you choose? Also, I forgot to mention that due to the small size of my wedding (100 people tops) I can't get a saturday night so it would have to be Friday night (or a day which i would rathe not do). But my best friend from South Jersey is already moaning about a friday night wedding. Imagine I have to tell her she has to drive 2 hours? Am I overthinking this or carnig too much?

lulu Posted: Feb 18, 2003 12:30 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

I'm actually having my wedding at the Vanderbilt Mansion. My opinion was that if people are going to come to my wedding if it is and hour and a half away, they will come if it is 2 hours away. I didn't want to go much further east than that though. I've driven to alot of out of state weddings and it was never a problem.

aliasPook Posted: Feb 18, 2003 07:10 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

The people that really care about you will be there
whether it be in NJ or LI. As long as it's a fair driving distance, I really don't foresee it as being much of a problem.

eroxgirl Posted: Feb 18, 2003 07:36 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

People will come to your wedding no matter where it is... just make sure you investigate the hotels in the area for guests that have to travel...and your MOH should be taking the day off of work anyway if its a Friday wedding to be with you all day long so why is she complaining? But if you're getting married in Nassau, I'd keep the reception there too just because of travel time between the church and the reception if it were in NJ would be a bit much IMO.

SeptemberBride03 Posted: Feb 18, 2003 07:53 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

I'm in a similar position. My FI's family lives in southern PA and southern NJ and most of our friends live in VA- our wedding is on LI. The way I feel about it is that I have traveled to all of their hometowns when they got married and had christenings - they probably expect to do the same for you. I would have considered a midpoint if I wasn't so set on my church. My Fi has been great about it.

Jodi73 Posted: Feb 18, 2003 08:05 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

I live in Westchester and so does FH. Neither of us have any family on LI (I grew up there, but everyone has since moved) and we are still getting married on the island. We just found the places out there nicer.

I do not think people will not come because of an extra hour or two in travel time. Just make sure there are hotels in the area where the guests can stay.

07052002 Posted: Feb 18, 2003 08:09 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Brides Parish or area. I'm from LI and DH is from Philly. We had it in my hometown.

Everyone understood.

Jess2 Posted: Feb 18, 2003 08:36 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

My family is in LI, I live in the city and my fiance & some of his family live in Jersey. We are getting married in Nassau county. I agree with the other girls, people will come now matter where it is. We are getting married in May 2004, so weather also should not be an issue, so you might want to do it in the spring/summer so travel for people won't be a problem.

AlisonMT Posted: Feb 18, 2003 08:40 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Either is probably fine but I think everyone would understand if you had it in LI. Nassau is not that far a drive from NJ anyway! My FH and I both live in DC and his parents are in MD, and yet we're still getting married in my hometown on LI. The way I see it is that the people who want to be there will be there no matter where it is!

Good Luck!

alina Posted: Feb 18, 2003 08:55 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

LauraPete,
My wedding is also in NJ, but I am using this board for advice and hints...

I will be getting married at the Tides in North Haledon, but if you have any NJ questions, feel free to shoot them in my direction.

LauraPete Posted: Feb 18, 2003 09:41 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Lulu I am jealous - Vanderbilt Mansion looks beautiful and I have been afraid to go see it as I think it is out of my price range (and correct me if I am wrong but there is a site fee and that didn't sit well with my FH). And Alina, I may have to call upon you for Jersey advice - for the moment, the only place I know of and LOVE is The Manor is West Orange (?) My FH took me there for my birthday and I was in heaven. BUT they have 3 weddings at a time! Even a my FH agrees that stinks! Thank you to all the women who have made me feel better about my L.I. search. Odds are I will stay here for the reception. P.S. this site is addicting!

QGurl Posted: Feb 18, 2003 10:24 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

I just typed this whole thing and I didn't see it post. So I apologize if it shows up 2x.
I'm also from LI and his fam is 2 hours away in NJ. We decided to have our wedding at a hotel. The Wyndham Windwatch. That way our guests don't have to travel much once they finally get out to LI.
Also since all of his aunts, uncles, etc. are all from NJ we all talked and came up with the idea of getting a chartered bus. We haven't finished the plans with whether it would pick them up in the morning and drop them back off at night.

That way if they didn't want to stay on LI at the hotel they don't have to, and they don't have to worry about drinking.

shelzyp Posted: Feb 18, 2003 10:27 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Are you definitly getting married at the church in Oyster Bay? If yes then I would have the reception on long island since people already have to come to the island for the church.

coralmali Posted: Feb 18, 2003 10:50 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

I'm from Jersey and my FH is from Long Island. Since he moved to Jersey, I promised we woudl get married in Long Island. Since we are paying for the wedding, money of course is a concern. I thought if Jersey was cheaper I could convince him to get married out here. I checked both L.I. and Jersey reception sites for price differences and there was not much of a difference for what I was looking for. The taxes are higher in L.I.

It's kind of a pain planning a wedding so far away but we did end up booking Chateau Briand in Nassau County. Most of his family is from Suffolk but it was truly a far ride for my NJ guests. Still, my best friends seem a little annoyed to travel to L.I and get hotel rooms. My wedding is on Memorial Day. You would think that everyone goes away for the weekend but my friends don't. I thought it would be fun to enjoy the weekend out on L.I. but I think for them its a pain. O well!

If you need any advice / help regarding NJ places, I can help you. I've been to practically all of them and I know price ranges because all my friends are planning their weddings in Jersey. Feel free to e-mail me.

tanbride Posted: Feb 18, 2003 10:52 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Laura- I am from Oyster Bay too! My church is in Oyster Bay which is where I grew up and its my family's paritsh even thought i too now live in NJ! My FI and his entire family is from Jersey - and some of his family are coming from California. No way was I going to have my wedding in Jersey- my FI's family totally understand -it's tradition to have the wedding where the bride lives- everyone understands that and will make a weekend out of it!

merf99 Posted: Feb 18, 2003 11:09 AM

Re: L.I. bride/NJ groom - where is fair to have reception?

Like some others, I am from LI but my FI is from NJ- where we're living now. But I wanted to get married on LI. We tried NYC but it just way over our budget so we booked Crest Hollow. It's not that far out on Long Island, close to NYC and there are alot of hotels around there. As long as it's not hours away and there are hotels around I don't think it's a huge deal. Good luck!

Where is everyone living in NJ?