Do you all live with your FH? We are moving in together soon but worried about the whole premarital backlash thing from the family.
We don't live together and don't plan to until after the wedding. I live rent free so saving is not an issue. My parents are traditionalists and out of respect it was the best decision. I have no regrets so far. We don't need to live together to realize if our marriage will survive. Then again cohabiting with your mate before marriage will not determine the success of your marriage. Things happen and people change, you just hope for the best.
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by kite1024
Livin in sin for a year now and lovin it! :) My dad had a total fit when I told him, so Jack had to sit down with my parents (as if I came with a dowry!) old-school style and state his itentions. Very traditional. But i suggest that everyone live with their boyfriend/fiance before marrying. I mean, what are you going to do after you get married and THEN find out you can't stand living with each other?
J
the thing is that it would make more sense to live together if the divorce rate went DOWN as the cohabitation rate went UP - the opposite is true though!
Not saying that couples that live together are more likely to divorce - but living together doesnt seem to lead to stronger marriages in the end ( i am editing this bc i want to make VERY clear that i DON'T think that living together is BAD just i dont see how everyone says that it leads to better marriages - dont want to offend anyone bc to each her own!)
feel free to prove me wrong but this is how i feel - i mean after nine years i think we pretty much know each other and as for the surprises that will come. . . we have a strong enough foundation to work through them
thanks for responding to my thoughts girls. . . i definitely do think it depends on each couple and what works for them!
Fh and I moved in together after about 6 months of dating. We have lived together for almost 3 years. We did have a rough time in the beginning and almost called it quits. He had lived on his own for 10 years and I never had so we had some issues. That is why I think you need to do it before hte wedding. I think most people would have called it quits, thank god we made it through and it actually made it stronger, but I have seen some realtionships go down hill after the big move in.
no..only because my parents are very traditional
Posted by bridezilla08
We don't live together and don't plan to until after the wedding. I live rent free so saving is not an issue. My parents are traditionalists and out of respect it was the best decision. I have no regrets so far. We don't need to live together to realize if our marriage will survive. Then again cohabiting with your mate before marriage will not determine the success of your marriage. Things happen and people change, you just hope for the best.
We do, I can't remeber what it was like not to live together, but then again we have been together for 7 years.
We've lived together for 2 1/2 years.
Posted by Mrs.D08
Posted by bridezilla08
We don't live together and don't plan to until after the wedding. I live rent free so saving is not an issue. My parents are traditionalists and out of respect it was the best decision. I have no regrets so far. We don't need to live together to realize if our marriage will survive. Then again cohabiting with your mate before marriage will not determine the success of your marriage. Things happen and people change, you just hope for the best.![]()
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I feel the exact same way!
I have mixed thoughts about this...my family is pretty traditional about things like this and I always thought I would be but circumstances happen and I do live with FH now. The only thing I've seen happen is people rushing into marriage to 'be' with eachother and its so true you learn sooo much about a person by living w/them. Word of advice wait at least a year before u throw a pet into the picture...lol.
not yet its so expensive id rather save for the wedding now and then towards the end when everything is almost paid off then we will get something!
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by kite1024
Livin in sin for a year now and lovin it! :) My dad had a total fit when I told him, so Jack had to sit down with my parents (as if I came with a dowry!) old-school style and state his itentions. Very traditional. But i suggest that everyone live with their boyfriend/fiance before marrying. I mean, what are you going to do after you get married and THEN find out you can't stand living with each other?
J
the thing is that it would make more sense to live together if the divorce rate went DOWN as the cohabitation rate went UP - the opposite is true though!
Not saying that couples that live together are more likely to divorce - but living together doesnt seem to lead to stronger marriages in the end ( i am editing this bc i want to make VERY clear that i DON'T think that living together is BAD just i dont see how everyone says that it leads to better marriages - dont want to offend anyone bc to each her own!)
feel free to prove me wrong but this is how i feel - i mean after nine years i think we pretty much know each other and as for the surprises that will come. . . we have a strong enough foundation to work through them
Posted by beachbum05Is this a competition about which way of living is better??
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Either way we're all in it for the long haul whether you live together now or you wait until after you get married.
either way, they're stuck with us and we're stuck with them.![]()
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We don't live together. It's just cheaper not too till after the wedding.
Posted by Autumn08
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by kite1024
Livin in sin for a year now and lovin it! :) My dad had a total fit when I told him, so Jack had to sit down with my parents (as if I came with a dowry!) old-school style and state his itentions. Very traditional. But i suggest that everyone live with their boyfriend/fiance before marrying. I mean, what are you going to do after you get married and THEN find out you can't stand living with each other?
J
the thing is that it would make more sense to live together if the divorce rate went DOWN as the cohabitation rate went UP - the opposite is true though!
Not saying that couples that live together are more likely to divorce - but living together doesnt seem to lead to stronger marriages in the end ( i am editing this bc i want to make VERY clear that i DON'T think that living together is BAD just i dont see how everyone says that it leads to better marriages - dont want to offend anyone bc to each her own!)
feel free to prove me wrong but this is how i feel - i mean after nine years i think we pretty much know each other and as for the surprises that will come. . . we have a strong enough foundation to work through them
I read this in Psychology Today.
