Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by gporka23

To be honest I have just never felt so alone until I started planning this wedding. My best friend in the whole world that I have literally known since birth wants nothing to do with it and it honestly makes me feel so alone and sad. I have alot of ppl that are excited for me and I love and appreciate that but the one person I want is nowhere to be found. I don't want to say that our relationship or friendship is ruined, b/c nothing could ruin it.. but its def. not the same and def. not what I expected... I understand people are busy and have their own lives so I am dealing with it. Sorry about the rambling.

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me too

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

yup and you know what? At the end of the day, your true friend is your FH. Thats how I've been seeing things lately.

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I totally agree.. if you lose friends, they werent your true friends to begin with and they were just jealous or envious of your happiness

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I definatley agree. People really show their true colors when you need help.

I know it is hurtful but I try and tell myself that it is not worth stressing over.... too bad I can't listen to my own advise

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

i know the feeling....los a bridesmaid recently...been friends for over 10 years...now we are not speaking and wont for sure...not IN the wedding...not COMING to the wedding...and this all transpired within the last few weeks

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I haven't lost any friends over the wedding but I have heard of a few people (family/friends/coworkers) say terrible things about me and my engagement behind my back.. I try to only talk about the wedding to close friends and family but it is amazing how some people will ask you about your wedding on a daily basis then say horrible things about you behind your back!

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I guess I've been lucky about this. I have only a few close girlfriends and they are in my bridal party. We have the same relationships now as ever, with the exception of me getting slightly impatient every once in awhile But they know how I am since I've been friends with 2 of them for about 20 years! I only talk about the wedding when asked, especially when at work.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I really feel better seeing others feel the same way.. I lost a few friends .. One was FH SIL.. She has just been acting like a TRUE HATER!!! Obviously because she didn't achieve nothing with FBIL in 15 yrs (Not even marriage) but two children she takes care and worries on her own...

Also, my close friend who has not called or worried about the wedding since last Nov. And I called her a friend!!?? But its normal that people want to always be the center of attention and need other FINANCIALLY instead of a real friendship...

That has been my problem.. I'm always there .. Financially , physically and emotionally but when I get STINGY on the financial side they tend to get offended.. Ohh well.. people just need to make their own..

I'm too concern about MY WEDDING than other peoples DRAMA!! No DRAMA Allowed!!

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I completly agree.... Ive had people who I thought would be there for me and not so sure they are. I dont even know if one girl will still be my bridemiad.... then i have friends who are new in my life and are there for me no matter what ... sooo weird and sad

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by Emily0423

I really feel better seeing others feel the same way.. I lost a few friends .. One was FH SIL.. She has just been acting like a TRUE HATER!!! Obviously because she didn't achieve nothing with FBIL in 15 yrs (Not even marriage) but two children she takes care and worries on her own...

Also, my close friend who has not called or worried about the wedding since last Nov. And I called her a friend!!?? But its normal that people want to always be the center of attention and need other FINANCIALLY instead of a real friendship...

That has been my problem.. I'm always there .. Financially , physically and emotionally but when I get STINGY on the financial side they tend to get offended.. Ohh well.. people just need to make their own..

I'm too concern about MY WEDDING than other peoples DRAMA!! No DRAMA Allowed!!

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Oh my gosh I completely agree.... My wedding NO DRAMA

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

There are people I have only recently become close with (because they started working with me this past September) who are getting invites well before people I have known for the better part of a decade. . .simply because the newer friends have been better friends to me in a shorter period of time than the older friends.

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

yup and you know what? At the end of the day, your true friend is your FH. Thats how I've been seeing things lately.

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i totally agree. I havent lost any friends since being engaged, but it has definitely made FH and i see things about other people a little more clearly.....

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

i agree 100%!!!!!

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

me and my cousin isnt friends anymore because she is such a BIOTCH ....she said our wedding not gon last....and im fat and think im all that...i told her if you feel that way then leave the the FUCC alone!

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

It's so sad to see how many people have had their 'friends' turn their back on them. Me...thankfully, I haven't had any problems. I'm one of the last of my friends to get married, and I was in the wedding business so a lot of them during their planning came to me for help. Now that the tables are turned, they offer advice but everyone is so busy with their own lives. I mean it's understandable. To me and FI it's the day we are going to look fwd to most in our lives..to them..it's just another day-a party. I do have two friends that I've lost touch with (before I got engaged) which hurts so much that I don't speak tot hem. That's a different topic though

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

I have to say I disagree with a lot of you.

I am no longer friends with someone who I was very close to because of her wedding process. Many of you girls have said you know who your true friends are, and if they are not your friends at the end of the process they weren't your friends to begin with, well... Trust me, she and I were true blue friends since 4th grade. But she pushed me to far during the planning of her wedding and it all spun out of control. The fact that we are no longer friends does not mean that she wasn't super important to me and I think the situation ultimately *****, especially since we share a lot of friends (most of which I don't see anymore, and one of which is my BM), but I lost the ability to trust her in the process and I know she felt the same way about me. I think that sometimes it is as much the brides fault as the BMs because lets face it, when we are planning our weddings we feel like our wedding is number 1 priority, but to most people its just a few days and otherwise life goes on. Because of my experience I am super careful about keeping that in check. Yes, I am upset that my BM is getting married a week before my shower (even though my shower was planned first) and won't be there, but no I am not going to make a big deal or kick her out. Yes I am sad that my MOH is so busy with work she barely e-mails me back and couldn't come out for dress shopping,but I would never throw her out or demote her. Yes I wish my MOH could be at my bachelorette party but I understand she lives in Paris and can't make multiple trips to the US. I don't know I think my experience has grounded me a lot. This is JMO of course from my past experience and from being on the other end.

In the words of Miranda... 'you get a day, not a week, a day.'

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by gporka23

To be honest I have just never felt so alone until I started planning this wedding. My best friend in the whole world that I have literally known since birth wants nothing to do with it and it honestly makes me feel so alone and sad. I have alot of ppl that are excited for me and I love and appreciate that but the one person I want is nowhere to be found. I don't want to say that our relationship or friendship is ruined, b/c nothing could ruin it.. but its def. not the same and def. not what I expected... I understand people are busy and have their own lives so I am dealing with it. Sorry about the rambling.

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Almost want to cry because I agree SOO much. Thanks for saying this because that makes me feel like I'm not the only one. I have at least 4 friends (BMs, actually) that I would have bet my LIFE that they'd be more involved than they are... they've asked to do nothing so far, so hopefully that'll change in the next 9 months until the wedding...grr and

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

not really... we decided no bridal party so this isn't really affecting our friendships. i understand your question though... i have been in many wedding parties and it can become difficult trying to corral everyone and please everyone!

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

i agree 100000%

my MOH is my best friend but she hasnt really been excited, helpful or eager to do anything regarding the wedding. i guess i know who my true friends are

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

oh, totally! i had one deadbeat bridesmaid who would avoid dress shopping like the plague. this one time over the summer she knew we were all going, eyes on the floor so i wouldn't ask her, and then gave me a hard time about hurrying to hang out at her house for the umpteenth time later that day. a couple months later, new friends, stops returning my messages, starts acting like a general a**hole, plays the victim, fight, blah, blah...good riddance!

Re: losing and gaining friends during wedding planning?

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Posted by MLAngelo

I have to say I disagree with a lot of you.

I am no longer friends with someone who I was very close to because of her wedding process. Many of you girls have said you know who your true friends are, and if they are not your friends at the end of the process they weren't your friends to begin with, well... Trust me, she and I were true blue friends since 4th grade. But she pushed me to far during the planning of her wedding and it all spun out of control. The fact that we are no longer friends does not mean that she wasn't super important to me and I think the situation ultimately *****, especially since we share a lot of friends (most of which I don't see anymore, and one of which is my BM), but I lost the ability to trust her in the process and I know she felt the same way about me. I think that sometimes it is as much the brides fault as the BMs because lets face it, when we are planning our weddings we feel like our wedding is number 1 priority, but to most people its just a few days and otherwise life goes on. Because of my experience I am super careful about keeping that in check. Yes, I am upset that my BM is getting married a week before my shower (even though my shower was planned first) and won't be there, but no I am not going to make a big deal or kick her out. Yes I am sad that my MOH is so busy with work she barely e-mails me back and couldn't come out for dress shopping,but I would never throw her out or demote her. Yes I wish my MOH could be at my bachelorette party but I understand she lives in Paris and can't make multiple trips to the US. I don't know I think my experience has grounded me a lot. This is JMO of course from my past experience and from being on the other end.

In the words of Miranda... 'you get a day, not a week, a day.'

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exactly- you put it perfectly... i am also no longer friends with someone because of her behavior as a bride... and we grew up together as well and to be boldly honest, i miss her dearly- i almost feel like my friend died. it's easier to cope with it thinking about it that way because she completely changed during the process. the person i knew and loved no longer exists. she was out of control and a complete b!tch... everything became about her and the wedding, no longer asking about anyone else's life. long story short it was a nightmare... it exploded so badly that she kicked me out of the BP and I was the MOH. i've said this 100 times on every post- i am not having a BP for this and other reasons, i am not jeopardizing friendships and being the cause of resentment and ill feelings. Just my opinion too ladies, i respect all of your opinions as well!