Losing your last name

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Posted by DjPiLL

Not for nothing... But I think hyphenating your name is the most annoying thing out there.

Pick a goddam name. And its not even like you MUST take the man's name. I can respect a bride that just decides to not change her name for whatever reason... over somebody that wants to hyphenate.

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Why would you find hyphenating ones name annoying? You don't have to write it.

Some of us have very different, specific reason for hyphenating. Be it sentimental, practical or just who we are. I'm sure others have put just as much thought into it as I have.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but for you not to respect us for our decision is just ignorant and closed minded.

I have been thinking about this for a while now, well actually my friends won't let me forget this! I mean it is going to be so hard...most of my friends refer to me by my last name. My new one would be cool but oh well....He said he really doesn't care but I bet his/my family would.

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Posted by DjPiLL

Not for nothing... but I think hyphenating your name is the most annoying thing out there.

Pick a goddam name. And its not even like you MUST take the man's name. I can respect a bride that just decides to not change her name for whatever reason... over somebody that wants to hyphenate.

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whoa. little angry over there. Not sure why this bothers anyone so much, be we all have our pet peeves.

I think it's tough for a guy to really grasp how much thought may go into this decision as it's a non-issue for them.

I kept them all



NYS wont allow more than 3 names so I dropped my old middle name and use my maiden name as my middle name.

NO ONE ever gets my middle name
'N' does not stand for Nancy, it's Noelia

It's also the name of my father's only sister.

Still I have much more attachment to my father's name than my aunt's.

So, mostly I am Mrs. Veronica Maiden Hubby.

Only my insurance company got it right: Veronica Noelia Maiden Hubby

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Posted by AlliNMatt06

Why is it so important to everyone to not change your name. Its going to be so annoying for your kids to have to write out your name and his name, there going to hate it.

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I think the women who have commenting on keeping their names have also included the reasons why they choose to do so. I include myself in that group.

Regarding the second part of your comment: My children will not have hyphenated last names. Besides, if they did, they'd be fine with it because it wouldn't be any longer than some people's non-hyphenated last names.

Perhaps those of us who are opting to keep our last names in some shape or form should start asking those who are changing them to begin justifying their decisions.

I'm not picking on you, Ali. I think it was the earlier comment about being 'annoyed' by those who hyphenate that I'm a bit miffed by.
Goodness, if someone gets annoyed by a hyphenated last name, how does one deal with day to day life?

Anyway, I'm cranky because I had a hair trial that ended a little over 4 hours ago and my hair has completely fallen out of the style.

My maiden name will always hold a place in my heart. My children and grandchildren will know the names of all of the parents, grandparents and as far back as I know.

I do not look at this as losing my name I look at is at the beginning of the 'Wxxxx' family. Our family. That now shares a name.

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Posted by sept20yay

Here is a tip for all of you and you can do this. I did.

The first change you will make will be with social secutiry. What you put on their card will be your name and you can use any combo of that name you would like. You can use any combo of that name on your drivers license/passport/introducing yourself/mail/bank that you like legally.

Here is an example:

My name was Marisa Allyson X
My name now is Marisa Allyson X Y (Added my husbands name and did not drop my name on the social security card)
My ss card reads all 4 names.

On my drivers license, my maiden name is dropped and I am Marisa Y. I could go to a job interview as arisa X and that still would be legally correct.

Point is you don't have to hyphenate or lose your last name legally.

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I pretty much did the same thing. I've heard the suggestions about making your maiden name your middle name, but my middle name is too significant to me to lose it (it's Hebrew, the feminine version of my late grandfather's name, and I'm proud to carry it). So I just took my maiden name as a second middle name, and I'm perfectly happy. The lady at the DMV was a biatch about it, but whatev. Like I care about her.

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Posted by AlliNMatt06

Why is it so important to everyone to not change your name. Its going to be so annoying for your kids to have to write out your name and his name, there going to hate it. I guess its one's personal opinion, but I don't see the big deal. I have degrees with my name. My father had to two girls so our last name will be gone soon. That's what happens in our culture, if we were in another culture and they thought you should keep your maiden name and your husband take yours, then that's what I would do.

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It's clear everyone has different opinions, but again, it's about personal choice. Yes, our 'culture' in USA has been traditionally patriarchal. This also meant that at some point women couldn't vote and didn't have the choices that we do now. I would argue that our 'culture' is much more diverse today and is largely about personal freedoms, like choosing that you want to take your fh's name or that you choose to keep your own name.

My parents were divorced and very happily remarried for both 20+ years. This meant my mom had a different last name. Trust me, as a kid I didn't 'hate' writing 2 different names to identify my parents and I didn't lose any sleep at the difference in my last name vs. my mom's.

It's not that bad....I hyphenated...good luck

I am taking his...I mean i AM going to miss my last name, but I think i will have a harder time giving up my middle name to make it maden name.

I thnk i could have an easier time giving up my maiden name than not being Beth Gail anymore...

I mean my dad always called me BG and now alot of my friends do...i just couldnt give it up (it isnt like anyone ever called me MaidenLastName)

Wow, how would have thought this would still be such an issue in 2004?

Personally, i hyphenated and yes once upon a time I thought this was pretentious but once it came to decide, this was the only thing I felt comfortable with. Its just a name after all and this has made both my professional and personal life seamless from single to married.

The reality is that we should all be thankful that in 2004 we have the choice to decide how we want to be recognized, many of us have different situations and wish to handle them differently. There's nothing wrong with that, if you want to change your name to your husbands, it doesn't mean you're not a 'strong woman' or even a feminist, its just a choice of name, if you don't change your name, it doesn't mean you're not committed to family or to your husband. And if you decide to keep both, that's your choice too and you don't have to make your kids take your maiden name if that's not what you decide.