Major Bombshell my FMIL just dropped (venting and in shock) UPDATE: latest post

Original post by Xelindrya

Feb 06, 2004 09:55 AM

What a very strange night I had.

Apparently Jim’s mother and long time guy friend have been talking of getting married. He’s a nice guy and treats her well and frankly she deserves a good man. The family (Jim & siblings) like him so there’s no drama there.

Here’s where it gets strange. Last night Jim finally got the courage to talk to her about the Pre-Wedding dinner (Rehearsal if you want to call it that). My father wants to go to Chinatown and have a huge meal and enjoy it and so I thought it would be nice if we made it a 2-family thing. Just the Bridal party, per se.

We were concerned about asking because we didn’t want to burden her financially. Finally he asked last night and she was totally fine with it. She was sort of nonchalant about it. “What about $300-$500 for dinner? No problem” Uhm, ok…..

Then the bombshell… she tells Jim that she and her guy have an idea.. BOMBSHELL TIME.

She says (not quote but you get the idea)
Since you and Veronica have already done all this planning how much was it? (Jim gives her a way low number $14k) Oh, that’s not bad.. how about XXX & I get married at your wedding too and we’ll just pay for the whole thing.

Ok.. now I was asleep when Jim comes back to the room to tell me about this conversation. “Hey honey, my mom and XXX want to get married at our wedding and in return they’ll pay for all the stuff” Groggy (cause I WAS asleep) I said “fine.. I’ll call the priest”. I admit.. it’s never a good idea to try to ask me stuff when I’m asleep. It started to sink in and he said he told her I wouldn’t go for it because it’s my day.

The more I thought about it the more I woke up.

My Options:
Have my wedding, my day all to myself and I become poor doing it.
Have my wedding, my way and share the ceremony (my whole theme is Asian anyway) and be able to start off with more resources for our life together. After all my family won’t care, I’m already married.

Man.. it took forever for me to get back to sleep!!!!

DRAMA!!

Xelindrya Posted: Feb 10, 2004 06:42 PM

Re: Major Bombshell my FMIL just dropped (venting and in shock)

Newest Development.

Ok.. so we gracefully declined her kind offer. I also had Jim mention to her that she is always welcome to help contribute to the wedding if she feels she can, such as the DJ for only $1000. He mentioned that we could always use the help and we would have definately appreciated her offer to pay for our wedding but we put so much into it, that we feel it's too private. That being said, we also requested that we could have a reprieve from the money rent installments so that we can pay for our own wedding quicker as we are getting no help from my father who is bankrupt.

She agreed!!
WHOOOHOO
I don't know about the DJ part, I could care less.. she said no more RENT!
*happy hop*
One condition, we have to help with the taxes on the house when they come in. Fine, no biggie.. that's in June, wedding is in Oct and no rent from March through Oct is nearly $2000!!

*wiggles her butt*
whoohooo!