I have only been to one wedding where they gave out favors- it is just another piece of clutter in my house. I am not giving favors either.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Make me feel better....
that's what i am doing bridzilla
btrflygrl
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Kelly...I value all the opinions I get here...that's why I ask. I'm torn because I personally think favors as unnecessary, but nice to get if one can afford them. I have one BM telling me it's absloultely necessary to have something, even if it's a little something. My time and my money are precious and draining fast.....if there was a feasible, affordable favor for about 150 guests, I'd consider it!! I just don't want to throw some candies or some dust collector at people that they won't bother with down the road, ya know? I'd love to do bottles of wine, I can't afford it with so many people coming!!! As always, I appreciate everyone's feedback...especially you since we've gone back and forth on so many posts
Christine: Thank you for your support...I tend to be wordy sometimes, but yes, I wanted support in thinking that I don't NEED to do favors if I CAN'T.
nsgraham
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Re: Make me feel better....
You could also do cookie cutters and tie a little note to them - you can get those for like .29 cents each, I think. Someone on theknot was talking about it awhile back.
valentinesbride
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Oh gosh...I can't believe some of the responses....she isn't going to give favors...and I think that's a 'choice' there is nothing 'wrong' with NOT giving favors...geezz...You seem sensible butterfly girl , go with your heart. As for the people complaining that when they go to a wedding and give a 'gift' and a 'shower gift' and expect a favor...I have to laugh. I am sure ..that the 'gifts' you give will never match the cost of the shower and wedding. I applaud you for not falling into the 'favor' trap butterflygirl. I think it's cultural anyway. My fiance is Italian and his mother is concerned about favors..my family never gives favors....so it's all about 'choice' ...and 'marriage' is all about making choices :)
nrvbrd
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Re: Make me feel better....
Do NOT feel bad at all. I will speak for myself, It is cool if I get a favor, but if I don't who the heck cares?
I gave away mini champagne bottles, and also frames where my placecards well. I have so many bottles left over. What a friggin waste!!!!
If people are going to measure your wedding by whether or not you gave a favor,then there is something wrong with them.
Do what suits your budget.
Donna
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Valentinesbride - I'm guessing your comments are directed at me and you're right I won't cover the whole wedding, but you can bet that I'll pretty much cover my plates (I usually give $300 or more depending on my relationship with the couple ) unless you're having it someplace really expensive. No, I'm not going to pay for your video, photo, etc.
And as for the shower I haven't met a bride yet that's paid for her own shower - it's always been hosted by the bridal party, her mom, friends, aunts, etc.... So my gift is for the bride and groom only.
My post was in response to someone saying that she was paying for everyone's dinner and I had to respond that I feel like I pay for my own dinner and drinks.
And I still feel that a favor (whatever it may be ) is a small token from the bride & groom to say thanks for sharing our day.
If $$ is an issue, why don't you make a donation? No one needs to know if you donated $20 or $20000. The scrolls can't be that much to make.
Edited for spelling
StepherG
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Re: Make me feel better....
I think favors are something that someone should give if they want to thank their guests. If you don't want to thank your guests, then that's up to you. I personally think it's necessary to do. Here's how I see it: they've taken time out of their schedule to be there for me. Some are paying for travel, hotels, etc. and then are also more than likely giving me a gift as well which is uneccessary. THAT IS REALLY NICE OF THEM SINCE I ASKED THEM TO BE THERE.
It's not about what you give, it's about the thought behind it. It could be a handwritten thank you card that cost you $0.00. It's just the point of appreciation.
JMO and 2 cents.
valentinesbride
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Donna...hun , I don't need to know how much money you give a person , because the amount doesn't matter. That is my POINT....I think the best favor you could a person...is the invitation to your wedding and 'words' expressing your appreciation of them in your life. Call them up...send them an individualized thank you note...but, giving them some sort of 'candy dish' or 'candle' although pretty and generous, never really shows 'how much' a person is appreciated. So once again , butterflygirl...send them expressive thank you cards and call it a day. Don't worry about people who ...care about 'material' gifts ...
TESS
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Re: Make me feel better....
Hey if you cant do favors you cant do favors. Weddings are too expensive these days. I personally think if you can find alittle something inexpensive than do that. Even try those candy bars and print the wrappings from your computer. If it is totally not in your budget what so ever I think your guest will understand considering the amount of money their dinner and drinks cost. Good Luck
aliciahelene
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Re: Make me feel better....
You arent being cheap..I almost didnt do favors because the favors get thrown out anyhow..I hate to admit that I have never kept a favor from any wedding, its usually eiher forgotten or lasts a fwe weeks in my house and then finds its way to teh trsh.I know that sounds cruel. I also think you are payinga fortune for yoru guests to have a good time, good jusic, drinks, cocktail hour, dinner, cake, desert, you are spedning thousands so yoru guests will have fun, are they going to miss and complain not getting a favor? I doubt it!!! You are not being cheap!!!
aliciahelene
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I did decide to just do almonds and kids favors...but I still dont think they are necessary..You arent being cheap, you are being realistic !!!
aliciahelene
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Re: Make me feel better....
I just read what alot of people wrote..sometimes its hard to aks opinions on here because everyone has different ideas of how heir wedding should be, just like vendors..do whats best for YOU...it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks..when its all said and done and you have saved the money..you will be glad you didnt stress about a favor! I have been to weddings with favors and weddings without..I could care less..I am there because I WANT TO SEE THEM GET MARRIED..I giev them money because I want them to enjoy it..I dont expect a stupid gift in return.its not about me..its about the bride and groom!!!! Not t say favors are stupid, but if people are gonna complain because they didnt get one...That in my opinion is stupid!!!
Kelly9904
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Re: Make me feel better....
I just wanted to add that honestly Favors arent usual in many places. I have been to MANY out of state weddings and the one I did get a favor, it was a hand made fortunte cookie.
I think that sometimes weddings become more about ettiquite(sp?) than about the celebration of the marriage. It shouldnt be about how much was spent/not spent. Does is diminish the experience you had with the couple and yoru friends/family if the couple didnt give you a favor? If so that IMHO is PETTY and SELFISH. Those who feel they cover their plate, but they dont have to cover the Photo, do you cover the DJ too? Because you spent the night dancing and enjoying the atmosphere that the music helped to provide but you didnt pay for that....
the weddings where I did get favors, I usually dont remember what they were, I remember the enjoyment of the day, the food that was shared and how happy the couple was.
Do what is best for you, your family will feel honored to share with you the most important day of their lives whether you 'thank' them with a momento or you write a heartfelt thank you later.
If you want to do something, that is the emphasis of what people here are saying is the meaning or reason to give a favor, get some nice paper, some ribbons and write a nice heartfelt thank you to everyone telling them how happy and honored you are to be able to share this day with them and that you both feel so lucky to be beginning your married with so much love surrounding you. Maybe add a little story about you and your FH, add a little pic in the background. That to me would be more special and memorable than ANY favor I could get.
Moral: its your wedding do what is best for you...you will NEVER in your life be able to make everyone happy with every decision! Accept that now!
valentinesbride
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Very well said Kelly :) I couldn't agree with you more !!!
jcova1019
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You're not being cheap. Most people don't even pay attention to the favors anyway.
casg
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I vote make a donation and NO ONE will know how much your heart told you to
wino2
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Some of the most elegant weddings I have been to did not have favors...
kim425
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I agree with you Michelle. I can't believe some of the responses here either.
If you can't afford favors, don't give favors. People will not notice it, trust me.I've been to several weddings and I can honestly say that i've never ever used a favor i received. I've always forgotten about it and left it at the reception or ended up throwing it out. Your wedding is going to be wonderful, with our without a favor.
