Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

So was the getting your marriage license a simple process? How long did it take? We are going tomorrow! I'm excited because it's now super real, but I'm super emotional over changing my name. I never even liked my last name, but the thought of changing it makes me really sad and with going to the city clerk tomorrow I'm having a hard time making a decision. fh says he doesn't care, but I know it means a lot to him. I can't hyphenate, but part of me feels like changing my name I'm losing part of my identity. Anyone else having these feelings?

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

Getting the license took about 15min it was super easy. On the form they ask you to write the new name and then after the ceremony you get another certificate that you use to actually go change your name. If you decide not to change your name I'm pretty sure you just don't call around, your name will stay the same no matter what you put on the form. The form just gives you the right to change it if you want to.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

Changing my name upsets me too. I love my last name! :(
I thought about changing my middle name to my current last name can't hyphenate either. And fh really wants me to take his. The other reason I'm considering changing my middle name is bc my fsil and I will have the same initials! RMG oh wait gets better we will both be Rose Gordon's lol
All my life I was a Rose Ciccolella with my grandma. It was difficult growing up with the same name as her with a different middle initial anyway bit have the exact same initials will just be torture lol.
I haven't figured that out yet though.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I'm not changing my name because I feel like it would be changing my identity/taking away a part of me! My FH is super supportive and doesn't care if I don't take his name. We don't plan on having kids but if we do, I have no problem with them having his last name. I'm sure it will be super confusing to some people, but it doesn't bother me and I want to keep MY name :) I think its silly that wives are still expected to take their husband's last names

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

i am having a difficult time thinking about changing my name also. I feel like I am losing my identity. I love my last name and love that side of my family that I share it with. It is very important to my FH that I take his name. He doesn't even want me to hyphenate it. I don't know how I am going to handle it. I am a teacher and I like the idea of being called 'Mrs' but I want it to be with my current last name. I keep putting the though off because I have some time before I have to change it, but it is a struggle.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

This was totally me.. still is. I didn't realize going to the courts that it was that moment of deciding. Hubby was very adament that I take his name and it was very important to him. My dad years ago made a comment about me being the last Frost though and that I was the last of the bloodline with the name so NOW it kills me. Plus how many Star Frost's do you know? People freak when they hear my name and I kinda love it.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I will be taking my FH's last name because it is important to him and I also WANT to do it. I do feel however it is a personal choice and something that you both sit down and discuss before you make that decision.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

Thanks ladies. I keep going back and forth! Fh is totally ok with whatever I decide I'm just at the point where I don't know. I go back and forth, and my last name isn't anything special,his is way cooler, but that name change I feel like it means I'm changing who I am and in a way changing the name my parents have like I'm officially leaving them and I don't like that feeling. I guess this is going to be a last minute decision!!

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

Good luck! If it helps any of few of my friends that were recently married said they ent throw the same thing and now after all this time being called mrs and thier new last name they r happy they did it.

Re: Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

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Posted by Rorelai

I'm not changing my name because I feel like it would be changing my identity/taking away a part of me! My FH is super supportive and doesn't care if I don't take his name. We don't plan on having kids but if we do, I have no problem with them having his last name. I'm sure it will be super confusing to some people, but it doesn't bother me and I want to keep MY name :) I think its silly that wives are still expected to take their husband's last names

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This! We do plan on having kids, but no one needs to know that legally I kept my current name. I have no issue and neither does FH that I am known to others as Mrs FH but on legal docs its my current name. What name is on my bank account is no ones business but ours!

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I thought the license was only good for 30 days?
It was a pretty simple process last time I did this LOL (courthouse though, not an actual wedding)
The name change process is pretty easy too, just make sure you contact all banks, credit cards, dmv, stuff at work. I only recently changed my name back to my maiden name (only to change it again next year) and I've had no issues

Re: Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

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Posted by xBudgetBridex

Good luck! If it helps any of few of my friends that were recently married said they ent throw the same thing and now after all this time being called mrs and thier new last name they r happy they did it.

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Thanks so much!! Haha not sure if I'm ready for the Mrs. Title with his last name lol.

Re: Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

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Posted by soontobermrsg

I thought the license was only good for 30 days?
It was a pretty simple process last time I did this LOL (courthouse though, not an actual wedding)
The name change process is pretty easy too, just make sure you contact all banks, credit cards, dmv, stuff at work. I only recently changed my name back to my maiden name (only to change it again next year) and I've had no issues

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It's valid for 60 days in NY

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I know I come from a different era and things have changed sooooo much, but I just feel its not like you are giving up your identity or leaving your family, you are just starting a new chapter. I personally would feel like I wasnt giving it my all or like i wasnt in it 100% to move foward if i didnt take his name. In the end you have to do what makes you comfortable.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I'm taking his last name (and he wants me too). My last name is always mispronounced and misspelled here from two ways to heaven lol. FH's last name will be a welcomed change.

I do know some ladies at work who kept their maiden name at work to not confuse people, if anyone still wants a semblance of their last name.

Re: Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

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Posted by okellies

I'm taking his last name (and he wants me too). My last name is always mispronounced and misspelled here from two ways to heaven lol. FH's last name will be a welcomed change.

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This!

I'm so excited t have a nice, easy last name. The family I'm close with is all on my mothers side, with her maiden name, anyway, so I don't feel like I'm detaching from much. And it'll be great not having to spell and pronounce my last name a million times for people to get it.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

YES yes and YES.

I have found a book that has helped me immensely when I feel anxious about this whole thing. It's totally normal to be a little scared, it's the biggest commitment of your life and by changing your name, you are succumbing to that change.

If you want to feel better about this or maybe about other issues, (Do you suddently hate the way FH chews, or maybe fear you don't love him enough, or maybe your marriage might turn out in divorce...) I have found an excellent, and very REAL book.

I hate that the stigma is that this is supposed to be such a joyful, carefree time in our lives. It's a very huge decision to get married, one that people shy away from their entire lives. It's normal to get cold feet and second guess yourself. It DOES NOT MEAN that your relationship won't work out or that your marriage is not 'meant to be.'

The book is only 15 dollars (and much cheaper if you get a used copy). I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone getting married.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Conscious-Bride-Feelings-Getting/dp/1572242132

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I just did my marriage license and I really love my last name I hyphenated it cause I am the last of my family with the last name I want to carry it on but I also want to make my fh happy and he was totally fine with me hyphenating it.

Re: Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

I was feeling this way. I have one of those names that just flows. My first and last name match perfectly (thanks, dad!) and a lot of people in my life call me by my first and last name. Idk why, it's just always been that way. I've said in another post, I don't think any of my brothers will have sons (my older bro has 2 girls and younger bros are not likely to marry/have kids) so it ends with us. My last name is common, there are four guests at my wedding with the same last name and are not related, lol. But it's MINE and it's been mine for 33 years.

That being said... FH and I do have a daughter together and she has his last name. If you think it's simple having a different last name than your children... it's not. It's why when my parents got divorced, my mom never changed her name back, she wanted the same name as her children. It's not hard, but it's confusing and awkward a lot of the time. When the school nurse, the dentist, the pediatrician, etc etc etc calls, 'Hi, can I speak with Mrs. Urr... oh, um, I mean Ms....' Every. Time. It's not the end of the world, no. But it is easier having the same last name. Believe me, don't be worried about giving up your identity, once you have kids, you're not you anymore anyway, lol. I'm hardly ever Allison anymore, I'm Emily's mom. (hahaha.. jk. but not really).

I can't wait for it to be our family name. The ___s. I might take my maiden name into my middle name, and just have a super long name. But I'll be Mrs. ___ and I'm excited about it.

Marriage Lic process and changing my name freak out

If my last name wasn't so long I would hyphenate, but between our 2 last names I'd have over 20 letters. Off to the city clerks office today :) Thanks everyone for your help.