'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
12-3Princess
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'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
you hear about people cheating on their spouses?
not that I was ever 'for' cheating on one's spouse, but now that I'm engaged I find it to be the most horrendous thing ever. It makes me absolutely livid now. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I almost feel like I take it personally.
(the reason this came up is b/c someone I know wants to bring his mistress to my wedding and I really am offended and want to say no)
CubanBride
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Nope, because I have ben on the other side of the fence. I used to be the other woman, when I was a lot younger. It wasn't good and I am not proud of it, but every situtation is different. So I take things like that on a case by case basis. I feel that sometimes it's a forgiveable offense.
Besides, I think its about 60% pf men cheat on their wives while 45-50% of women cheat on their husbands. (those percentages are not exact, but I think they are close.)
So why would anyone be surprised?
12-3Princess
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
I'm not surprised, I'm appalled by it... When would it be 'forgiveable'? That's a serious question, not trying to be a b_tch.
Happybride2005
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
I think its a shame when a spouse cheats. If you're not happy in the relationship/marriage, just leave. Cheating only causes more problems. If the other person doesn't mind being with a cheater, I wonder how much respect they have for themselves.
M&LSept1606
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by 12-3Princess
you hear about people cheating on their spouses?
not that I was ever 'for' cheating on one's spouse, but now that I'm engaged I find it to be the most horrendous thing ever. It makes me absolutely livid now. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I almost feel like I take it personally.
I agree, I think it's disgusting. A person should not be in a realtionship if they are cheating they should not vow to be monagomous. Especially when they are married. That's no joke and I take it very seriously.
suven
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
to tell you the truth, I remember when I used to work with a girl who would always say that her 'boyfriend' was married. For many other reasons, I didn't like the girl. but, I was a manager, and she was an employee, so I couldn't let my feelings really be known.
I remember that when she got reprimanded by another manager because of a client complaint, I told the other manager that the girl shouldn't be reprimanded because someone else got offended by her comment.
The other manager told me, 'Wait until you get married. When you hear other girls talking about dating a married man, you will know why it's offensive'
To tell you the truth, I think it's wrong, but it doesn't offend ME personally. I know she's not dating MY husband.
12-3Princess
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by suven
to tell you the truth, I remember when I used to work with a girl who would always say that her 'boyfriend' was married. For many other reasons, I didn't like the girl. but, I was a manager, and she was an employee, so I couldn't let my feelings really be known.
I remember that when she got reprimanded by another manager because of a client complaint, I told the other manager that the girl shouldn't be reprimanded because someone else got offended by her comment.
The other manager told me, 'Wait until you get married. When you hear other girls talking about dating a married man, you will know why it's offensive'
To tell you the truth, I think it's wrong, but it doesn't offend ME personally. I know she's not dating MY husband.
Would it change anything if the married person brought his/her boyfriend/girlfriend on the side to your wedding? Rather than his/her's husband/wife? Would you not take that as sort of an offense on your wedding day? I don't know. Just because it doesn't involve me or my relationship, doesn't make it sit right with me.
suebride
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
I feel the same exact way --I think it is just gross and ever since I have been engaged it bothers me even more!
suven
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by 12-3Princess
Would it change anything if the married person brought his/her boyfriend/girlfriend on the side to your wedding? Rather than his/her's husband/wife? Would you not take that as sort of an offense on your wedding day? I don't know. Just because it doesn't involve me or my relationship, doesn't make it sit right with me.
Oh, hell yeah!
edited to add: you don't even want to know the nonsense that went on at my wedding. We had someone 'crash' (uninvited guest), we had an uncle want to bring a girlfriend, whom we paid for, only to not bring her because his inlaws got offended (his wife died, but he started dating again), another woman call a week before the wedding because she 'just started dating someone' and wanted to bring him, and then she no-showed.
12-3Princess
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
I really want to say you can't bring a mistress to my wedding . . .. but I dunno if I can do it.
I'll probably just silently fume about it.
suven
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by 12-3Princess
I really want to say you can't bring a mistress to my wedding . . .. but I dunno if I can do it.
I'll probably just silently fume about it.
If you addressed your invite to:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
and, then do your inner:
John and (wife's name)
Wouldn't he get the hint?
12-3Princess
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by suven
Posted by 12-3Princess
I really want to say you can't bring a mistress to my wedding . . .. but I dunno if I can do it.
I'll probably just silently fume about it.
If you addressed your invite to:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
and, then do your inner:
John and (wife's name)
Wouldn't he get the hint?
you would think . . .
suven
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
When I was wedding planning, I let SO MANY people get away with things. Now, as I plan other parties and get togethers, I am more forceful. After having so many rude things done to me at my wedding, I have had enough and I am much more vocal. And, I say 'NO' when I don't someone to do something at a party that *I* am hosting. And, ya know what, people respect me for it. They still speak to me and almost always come to the parties that I host.
12-3Princess
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Thanks Suven, you have FM
For everyone else, the question still stands . . . Do you find yourself taking affairs to heart more now that you are engaged/married? Like I said, it's really sickening to me.
Happybride2005
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
if i find my fh having an affair,i would show him the door
12-3Princess
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by Happybride2005
if i find my fh having an affair,i would show him the door
OMG! LOL! MY fh is not having an affair! LOL actually this came up for me b/c someone I know wants to bring his mistress to my wedding and FH and I are both appalled by it!
I'm just wondering if anyone else thinks this is as disgusting as we do!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
I think its awful. I don't understand what drives people to cheat. If you have some sort of issue or problem with your spouse, you need to talk about it. Cheating is something I can not even fathom. I know my FH feels the same way.
suven
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
I think it all goes back to the strange mentality that wedding guests have developed.
It's like they think:
'Well, If I'm coming to your wedding, these are the things that you will need to do for me...'
I was really appalled by a lot of the things that were said and done to me when I was planning my wedding.
halfpintny
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
First off, I would not willing allow a guest of mine to bring a mistress and not a wife. I would be very adament about it. Who needs all this controversy at their wedding??? It doesn't need to be the subject of gossip!
Second, i have alway held a very moral standpoint when it came to cheating...it's wrong regardless. And yes, it makes me sick. I went out with some friends about a month ago and a friend brought a friend. She was getting married in July in Hawaii and I was appalled when she started hitting on this guy and by the end of the night had her tongue down his throat....didn't look like she should be getting married.
Now on the other side...I have to try to be tolorant because, YES, every situation is different. My best friend is a cheater. She stays with her husband because he is a good provider and because she has two small children. I know that she is looking for the love that she doesn't get from her husband. Basically all he does is go to work and watch tv when he comes home. He offers no support...emotional, moral, or physical. While I can UNDERSTAND what she does, doesn't make me APPROVE of it. Because she is my best friend I have told her that I don't approve and am always offering her advice but if she's not willing to leave her husband what more can I do? Dump her as a friend? To me that would NOT be BEING a friend. So, in the end I tolorate it....but in the end I know that she is envious of me and FH because we are so devoted to each other.
CubanBride
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Re: 'marriage-related' - so now that you're engaged, do you find it even more offensive when . . .
Posted by 12-3Princess
I'm not surprised, I'm appalled by it... When would it be 'forgiveable'? That's a serious question, not trying to be a b_tch.
I don't think that extensive relationships outside of the marraige are forgiveable. However, I think that one night stands may be forgiveable.
