Mom issue, please tell me if I am wrong

Original post by misshealey1974

Feb 21, 2007 02:46 PM

OK just had a fight with my mom on the phone. I was talking to her about wedding programs and I mentioned that we are going to include that we were dedicating the ceremony to my grandfather who just passed away two months ago. She got all quiet and was like, 'Well aren't you including other people who have died?' and I was literally confused like, 'Who?' and she goes, 'You had four grandparents' and i was like, yeah but he JUST DIED two months ago and really wanted to come to the wedding, so that makes it a little more recent and I'd like to honor him. So i made the mistake of saying, 'Do you want FH and I to include EVERYONE then, he had four grandparents as well, so am I now going to have 4 pgs of those people that we are holding the ceremony in memory of? ', and she was like 'THOSE PEOPLE?!?!?'. Of course I would put in memory of my recently deceased grandfather, etc. as well as all those we have lost, etc. but I think she's being ridiculous. She was acting like I said, F your parents (whom I also loved dearly but they died 15 and 20 yrs ago), but this is something that I have wanted to do since he died a whole 8 wks ago...am I wrong?

AAHHH such fun planning a wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!

cookiemonster Posted: Feb 22, 2007 12:19 PM

Re: Mom issue, please tell me if I am wrong

one thing you could do is get a small picture of him to put on your bo-k - i've seen other girls do this and it's really nice - it's in a little frame that's tied to the bo-k with a ribbon and can have a dedication on the back. that way you could make the program more generic but keep him close to you during the ceremony. wish i had a pic to show what i'm talking about!

rkl1130 Posted: Feb 22, 2007 12:23 PM

Re: Mom issue, please tell me if I am wrong

You are not wrong at all. He just passed away 2 months ago!

You can do something else in memory for others who have passed away. We were thinking of actually setting up a small table at our reception with one setting with the plate turned down with tea lights and flowers on it in memory of those who are not with us anymore--FH is a Marine who did two tours in Iraq and had friends who died there so we wanted to remember them, as well as, our grandparents.

AlliCatB Posted: Feb 22, 2007 12:35 PM

Re: Mom issue, please tell me if I am wrong

you are not wrong. you can't be wrong if it's your feelings. your recently passed g'pa is different than your other g'parents because he knew you were engaged and wasn't able to make it to the wedding & that's significant in my opinion.

I say put whatever you want in the program and include them elsewhere. We're putting up framed photos from all of my grandparents' weddings at my reception. Perhaps you can do that which will appease your mother's need for recognition of her parents, and still allow you to continue with your idea as well.

good luck!