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Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

Original post by JimmysBride

My mom ordered her gown this weekend... she sorta mentioned it to me beforehand but never showed me a pic until now that it was ordered... Actually, she told me she was 'considering' it and probably would not get it..... because..... well, it's a bride's gown. She's getting it in Ivory and Gold though... and my gown is white.... well, silk white.

She told me about the colors before she ordered but never told me that it was an actual wedding dress until after. I'm okay with it but FH is kinda annoyed. He can't believe she is wearing an Ivory wedding gown on my wedding day. He says that his family is going to rip her apart talking about her.... I'm afraid to tell his mom for fear of the look on her face....

Anyway... this gown is just for the ceremony... she's changing into a red Versace gown for the reception.... I've yet to see a pic of that gown which is now starting to worry me a little. You see, my mom is a hottie, which is great, but FH thinks she dresses a little 'too young' for her age sometimes.....

FH thinks I should say something to her about the Ivory and he's also pissed at the fact that her two dresses are costing as much as mine (which is alot) and she's not really contributing to the wedding but she can blow over $3k on two dresses that he feels are inappropriate!


So here's the gown... she ordered it in Ivory and Gold.... I'm okay with it... I know she will look good in it and to me, it doesn't really look alot like a traditional wedding gown anyway.... It's Demetrios Couture...
but do you guys think it's going to look really inappropriate??


ETA: She canceled the order....

Well, I emailed her last night (I know, spineless) and very delicately expressed my concerns about the dress... she wrote me back and though the first paragraph could easily be interpreted as the obligatory motherly guilt trip, she said she 'definitely didn't want the dress anymore' and she called and canceled the order. Of course I feel bad.

I then started emailing her pics of some other gowns I thought she might like. She then wrote me back and told me that she canceled the order and Demetrios won't give her her deposit back but she can apply the money to another dress....

I immediately picked up the phone and called Demetrios in Florida, ready to rip them a new one. Unfortunately, the moron who sold her the dress was off today and conveniently, so was the store mgr... it took all my strength not to let loose on the poor woman on the phone (since she had nothing to do with it) but believe me, that mgr is going to get an earful tomorrow.
Misplaced anger, perhaps... but I have nothing to lose by trying to get them to give her her money back.... she had paid the gown in full so I feel like a real jerk....


Anyway, I don't know how she's really taking this because I haven't actually spoken to her (jellyfish that I am) and I couldn't really read the mood of her email...

Sigh. I really just don't need this crap. And they wonder why some us turn into bridezillas!

Thanks everyone for your support and for listening!
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Rainmama Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by JimmysBride


Posted by Rainmama

Jimmysbride- I saw this site and thought of you! Maybe it'll make you feel a wee bit better.
MOB dresses





You know what the worst part about that is?? Regardless of how correct the writer is in that, my mother would like (and possibly wear) EVERY one of those gowns... except for the 2nd and 3rd... they are far too demure and understated for her!!




sorry to laugh but .....
The first dress (the red one) made me totally think of you and your situation.
Glad you got a chuckle out of it!
tourist Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by JimmysBride


I then started emailing her pics of some other gowns I thought she might like. She then wrote me back and told me that she canceled the order and Demetrios won't give her her deposit back but she can apply the money to another dress....




So, it wasn't a bridal store--it was just a Demetrious store? And they only make Bride's dresses, so there isn't anything else she can apply the $ too?
That sucks. It's odd she had to pay the whole amount upfront.
Soon2beAlberti Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

well i'm glad she cancelled it because it is and looks like a bridal gown. Please don't take this the wrong way...I don't know your momma from a hole in the wall but...even the fact that she's wearing a red dress to the reception seems a bit 'attention seeking'. I'm sure she's a hottie but the day is not about all eyes being on her...it's about you. I totally understand why FH is annoyed...he just wants the day to be special for you and for it to be YOUR day.

AeroJenn Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

Sorry I missed this thread when it was first posted. WOW is all I can say. Just wow. First off, not only is that dress too much like a wedding dress, but IMO its way too sexy for her daughter's wedding to begin with.

And I agree with the other ladies.....your mom doesnt need 2 dresses thats rediculous....

How bout ONE dress thats appropriate for the occasion???
Katie&Chris2006 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

WARNING: The topic you're about to post a reply to is more than 168 weeks old. Please consider either searching for a newer topic to respond to or starting a new topic entirely for this subject matter.

This post is three years old girls!
AeroJenn Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by Katie&Chris2006

WARNING: The topic you're about to post a reply to is more than 168 weeks old. Please consider either searching for a newer topic to respond to or starting a new topic entirely for this subject matter.

This post is three years old girls!



omg I didnt even notice it was THAT old. How the heck did it get up here???
Jackie012100 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by Happybride2005

I think I have to agree with your FH. I've seen dresses like that in the Bridal magazines. Any reason your mom wants a dress that looks like a wedding gown. Why doesn't she wear the same dress to the ceramony and reception?



I totally agree
Mich0621 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by AeroJenn


Posted by Katie&Chris2006

WARNING: The topic you're about to post a reply to is more than 168 weeks old. Please consider either searching for a newer topic to respond to or starting a new topic entirely for this subject matter.

This post is three years old girls!



omg I didnt even notice it was THAT old. How the heck did it get up here???




znycgirl Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


This is funny!
Katie&Chris2006 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

I only noticed because I recognized the bride as one from a long time ago.
Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

i wonder what her Mom ended up wearing? lol

jeanla4c Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by Katie&Chris2006

I only noticed because I recognized the bride as one from a long time ago.



Me tooo--how the heck did this get bumped??
jeanla4c Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

and there are no posts on the thread between May 04 and August 07!!!!!!!!!!lol:
JimmysBride Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

Holy Rehash Batman!!

Uh... to put the recent concerns at ease... my Mom did not buy the wedding gown and wore a very nice, very appropriate gown to my wedding.... which was ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO!



Shorty McBride Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by JimmysBride

Holy Rehash Batman!!

Uh... to put the recent concerns at ease... my Mom did not buy the wedding gown and wore a very nice, very appropriate gown to my wedding.... which was ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO!








karabara Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

I'm so surprised that your mother would order a bridal gown for your ceremony. She definitely should have a very special dress, but why a bridal gown?? This is your day for a bridal gown, not hers.

Maybe I'm being mean, but I think you shouldn't feel guilty that your mom chose to pay for a wedding dress (for herself) at a salon with a no return policy. It almost makes me wonder if she did it on purpose, as though the policy would protect her from having to return a dress she knows is inappropriate.

I feel like she is either subconsciously or consciously trying to steal your spotlight between the bridal gown and the sexy red dress. Maybe I am speaking out of turn here, because I know nothing about your mother, so forgive me if I'm being inappropriate myself. I would be livid if my mother did that to me. It is her perogative not to contribute to your wedding, maybe she can't afford it, but if that is the case, then how is it she can afford to buy two different dresses for your event? It seems she is more concerned about her own appearance than the wedding itself.

Trying to see it from her angle, maybe she is feeling old b/c her baby is getting married, and she is reassuring herself by turning it into a fashion show for herself. I'm sure she is going through emotions of her own as you are getting married. I know my mom and my FH's mom are beginning to act a little nuts themselves, but in different ways.
LB and DC Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order



glad she found something better!!
LB and DC Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by karabara

I'm so surprised that your mother would order a bridal gown for your ceremony and me. She definitely should have a very special dress, but why a bridal gown?? This is your day for a bridal gown, not hers.

Maybe I'm being mean, but I think you shouldn't feel guilty that your mom chose to pay for a wedding dress (for herself) at a salon with a no return policy. It almost makes me wonder if she did it on purpose, as though the policy would protect her from having to return a dress she knows is inappropriate.

I feel like she is either subconsciously or unconsciously trying to steal your spotlight between the bridal gown and the sexy red dress. Maybe I am speaking out of turn here, because I know nothing about your mother, so forgive me if I'm being inappropriate myself. I would be livid if my mother did that to me. It is her perogative not to contribute to your wedding, maybe she can't afford it, but if that is the case, then how is it she can afford to buy two different dresses for your event? It seems she is more concerned about her own appearance than the wedding itself.

Trying to see it from her angle, maybe she is feeling old b/c her baby is getting married, and she is reassuring herself by turning it into a fashion show for herself. I'm sure she is going through emotions of her own as you are getting married. I know my mom and my FH's mom are beginning to act a little nuts themselves, but in different ways.



oh good lord - maybe we should stop adding to this thread - people aren't getting that it's three years old!!

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