Post New Topic

Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

Original post by JimmysBride

My mom ordered her gown this weekend... she sorta mentioned it to me beforehand but never showed me a pic until now that it was ordered... Actually, she told me she was 'considering' it and probably would not get it..... because..... well, it's a bride's gown. She's getting it in Ivory and Gold though... and my gown is white.... well, silk white.

She told me about the colors before she ordered but never told me that it was an actual wedding dress until after. I'm okay with it but FH is kinda annoyed. He can't believe she is wearing an Ivory wedding gown on my wedding day. He says that his family is going to rip her apart talking about her.... I'm afraid to tell his mom for fear of the look on her face....

Anyway... this gown is just for the ceremony... she's changing into a red Versace gown for the reception.... I've yet to see a pic of that gown which is now starting to worry me a little. You see, my mom is a hottie, which is great, but FH thinks she dresses a little 'too young' for her age sometimes.....

FH thinks I should say something to her about the Ivory and he's also pissed at the fact that her two dresses are costing as much as mine (which is alot) and she's not really contributing to the wedding but she can blow over $3k on two dresses that he feels are inappropriate!


So here's the gown... she ordered it in Ivory and Gold.... I'm okay with it... I know she will look good in it and to me, it doesn't really look alot like a traditional wedding gown anyway.... It's Demetrios Couture...
but do you guys think it's going to look really inappropriate??


ETA: She canceled the order....

Well, I emailed her last night (I know, spineless) and very delicately expressed my concerns about the dress... she wrote me back and though the first paragraph could easily be interpreted as the obligatory motherly guilt trip, she said she 'definitely didn't want the dress anymore' and she called and canceled the order. Of course I feel bad.

I then started emailing her pics of some other gowns I thought she might like. She then wrote me back and told me that she canceled the order and Demetrios won't give her her deposit back but she can apply the money to another dress....

I immediately picked up the phone and called Demetrios in Florida, ready to rip them a new one. Unfortunately, the moron who sold her the dress was off today and conveniently, so was the store mgr... it took all my strength not to let loose on the poor woman on the phone (since she had nothing to do with it) but believe me, that mgr is going to get an earful tomorrow.
Misplaced anger, perhaps... but I have nothing to lose by trying to get them to give her her money back.... she had paid the gown in full so I feel like a real jerk....


Anyway, I don't know how she's really taking this because I haven't actually spoken to her (jellyfish that I am) and I couldn't really read the mood of her email...

Sigh. I really just don't need this crap. And they wonder why some us turn into bridezillas!

Thanks everyone for your support and for listening!
1319948_1.jpg
divabride Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Girl, I just dont know what to say. I have to agree with the majority on this one. Plain and simple, your mom wants attention on your big day. By the way you have expressed yourself, Im confident that you will talk to her in the utmost positive way about this. Good luck and keep us posted!!
patti08 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I think that what ever you are comfortable with is fine.

Just an FYI though, my dress is Demetrios and the color is called gold - and it's really not gold it's more of a warm ivory/champagne/antique white color - definitely bridal. You might want to see a swatch.

FrescaBride Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I agree with your FH. I'd be upset if my mother chose a dress like that and thank God that doesn't have to be one of my worries. I feel bad for you that you have to go through that.
kgermano Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

It really is a beautiful gown but it is true that it may be a bit much for the mother of the birde since it is technically a wedding gown.
you should try to convinve her to wear the second dress for the whole day. I know if I could afford a Versace gown I would wear it all day and anywhere else I had to go. Maybe even around the house, just so I can say I am wearing VERSACE!!!
shelly3950 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I'm also with the crowd here. Its inappropriate for your mom to be trying on wedding gowns, let alone wearing one to your wedding. FYI- Demetrios Ivory is like a diamond white.

I would definitely talk to your mom. If she doesn't feel her red dress is appropriate for church then tell her to buy a nice satin suit or a shawl or something.

I also agree- this is a wedding- not a concert. I understand a bride changing to be more comfortable, but no costume changes from the MOB.
sammi102 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I definitely agree with your FH. This is YOUR wedding day, she had one already, I'm assuming. If she's wearing another gown later, she should just wear that to the ceremony as well. There should only be one bridal gown and that should be yours.

Just my opinion!
bogiedmb41 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

As a future husband I'd be pissed too...I hope your mom at least offered you some money to help with the wedding and you turned it down , because if she didn't and then blew over 3k on 2 dresses, one of which is a WEDDING GOWN, I'd have blown a gasket by now!....JMO of course ...I hope it works out for you, good luck!
BeBe Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Don't worry she can't steal your thunder! You are the bride! Anyone who wears a red dress is screaming 'look at me.' At least that's what I heard Oprah say one time. I think mummy is jealous of you and is feeling her age. I would be embarassed for her.

GroomsMom Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I'm a mom so I will give you my point of view. The part that is going to seem strange is that she is wearing it for the wedding and then changing later. Wearing it for the ceremonym then changing makes it seem more like a wedding dress. As far as the train, many dressy dresses for moms do have them, including the one I am wearing for my daughter's wedding. I do however find the style, with the neck treatment and all, not to be so typical of a wedding dress. Is yours fitted like this, or is it full as in a ballgown style?

MomNeedsTissues Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Another mom's point of view:
the bride is the spotlight of the entire day and evening. Don't get me wrong, I think the gown shown is beautiful, but I feel its not an approiate mother of the bride gown, hottie or not. She should be dressing the part and not outdressing you.

I know for me, my daughter was a very huge part of my gown selection. My gown compliments hers, and that was her decision. I needed her approval of what I wanted to wear. After all, I make the final grand entrance before her

JMO: I think you should have a very serious heart to heart with 'mom' and let her know your feelings and what your expectations are for the MOB.

Good luck! Keep us posted.
2bewedin04 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Honestly, I can understand not wanting to wear red in the church (even though I'm Jewish) ... and the two different dresses doesn't offend me per se.

But I agree with the others ... the dress she picked looks bridal.

Perhaps you could suggest that she consider a very elegant suit for church and change into her gown afterwards. From what I understand, she couldn't dye the dress she selected as it has beeding and the beeding would get damaged in the dye process.
june262004 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I have a really good friend whos mother wore a red dress to his sisters wedding. It was a stunning dress and she looked beautiful and nobody thought anything about her wearing a red dress to church!!!

Now I personaly dont care who wears what to my wedding. Wear what you want. I am one of those people who just says whatever. I can understand how u would be REALLY upset that your mother is wearing a white BRIDAL gown. I don't understand why one would look in the bridal side of a store for their daughters wedding. If she didnt want to wear the red dress why didnt she just buy a dress or that dress in a different color? Some people want their mothers in white or ivory!

On another note this is a dress I found on DavidsBridal.com under mother of the bride?
wc0143 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I have to agree with most of what has been said:

Why would she even look at bridal?
Why does she need two dresses?

But in my opinion, the dress does not look 'bridal' at all!
KarenK122 Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

I would definately be pissed and would ask her to get the dress in a different color or just wear the red one. Way to bridal for my taste.

Many years ago at a friend's wedding, her mother wore a dress just like that and even had a small bo-k. Everyone made fun of her and thought it was very tacky since it looked like she was trying to be a bride again. JMO. To this day it is brought up when we are remembering the 'old' days.
IrishTracy Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?


Posted by Janine24

its a pretty dress... but maybe she should just wear the red one... why does she want 2 dresses...
I would def talk to your mom about this...especially if you are upset...


I agree tell her to stick w/ just the red one.
IrishTracy Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Has anyone besides your Mom seen this red dress???

FeliciaDA Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Jimmysbride, at this point I don't have anything constructive to add to your post, since everyone has said most of what I would have said in the first place. I just feel really badly that you , the BRIDE, has to even go through something like this. From your own MOM, no less!

Just try to focus on one thing -- no matter what your Mom winds up wearing, no matter what kind of 'hottie' she tries to act like, your dress is a knockout and YOU, my dear, are going to be THE center of attention!

Try as she might, Mommy Dear will NOT be able to steal your thunder in that amazing gown of yours!

I hope it all works out. Many hugs to you!!

Rainmama Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate?

Jimmysbride- I saw this site and thought of you! Maybe it'll make you feel a wee bit better.
MOB dresses
nferrandi Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order

OMG, that site os too funny!
JimmysBride Posted:

Re: Mom ordered her gown! FH is pissed...Is this inappropriate? UPDATED -- She canceled the order


Posted by Rainmama

Jimmysbride- I saw this site and thought of you! Maybe it'll make you feel a wee bit better.
MOB dresses





You know what the worst part about that is?? Regardless of how correct the writer is in that, my mother would like (and possibly wear) EVERY one of those gowns... except for the 2nd and 3rd... they are far too demure and understated for her!!

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.