Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Original post by dino1109

Feb 17, 2004 04:29 PM

FH finally set up the account after it being on his TO-Do list for months!

And We just recieved the little cards to include with the shower invitations!! They are actually very cute. I wish I had a scanner to show you.But on the one side it says 'A Bridal Registry Account has been set up for ______ & _______' The & sign is actually two wedding bands. then it explains what it is. On the other side, which is detachable is a note to us from our friends and family after they deposited money to tell us that they did it.

dino1109 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:52 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Its Ok for everyone to have their own opinions, and I realize I will get a lot of reactions. This is also why I am giving options...I will also be relying on word of mouth (by my bridal party and my mom). Anyone who really knows us (which post people coming to my shower an wedding do) will know we are not the type who beg for money or whatever...I think they will see it as I see it and if they dont noone is forcing them to do anything...

I appreciate your responses but I have decided to do this...I dont care if 5 people put money into it..and i dont care if its $5.

StepherG Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:53 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by EvenEdan

I'm sorry if you are feeling attacked, but you have to realize that this is quite tacky. It makes you seem like you are desperate for money or that you can't afford your wedding. If I ever received something like this I would think it was laughable. Be prepared for many of your guests to have this same reaction.

Agreed.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:54 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Alright I will tell you IMO I think it is tacky IN GENERAL to do things that either FORCE people (not registering) OR asking for money. BUT this is JMO.

If you need money for a house I think you can casually have family members let their friends and family know you are saving for a home - I think people are sympathetic to that and will want to help - that in itself should be enough to encourage people to help you out. But to straight out tell someone you want money to me is not right.

shannon326 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:54 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Very well said Palebride!! What really is the difference if you register for gifts or money anyway!!! In the end isn't it all money!!!

dino1109 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

thank you Lori!

And I said why ? b/c like Lori said I wasnt really looking for opinions....

Lets jsut all drop it- I dont want a debate here....

violet Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:55 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

True. What difference does it make if $50 is just given straight to the bride or spent on a cutlery set?

070502 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:56 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Aren't you supposed to be 'showered' with gifts at your shower?? I wanted toasters at my shower and I wanted gifts so I could have a bow hat.. lol

Interesting idea, but I couldn't have done it.
But we also didn't live together before hand and had nothing.

I'm sorry people were rude to you on here, just ignore them you do what you have to do and whatever your family is ok with.

missmmpr Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:58 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I think people find it weird bc it is not the norm...getting someone a toaster oven is different than giving them $100 for a house fund...Anyway...what will you do at your shower the whole time with no gifts to open...just kidding...I hope the fund works for you!!

palebride Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:58 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

all is know is that when i got engaged people were begging me to set up the registry so that they could buy us gifts (who was i to argue? ) so we set it up because people LOVE to buy you gifts to help you out when you are getting married! most of the people have been there before and understnad your situation.
We both live at home at this point - so we need EVERYTHING...hence the extensive registry!
If we had lived together already and were not in need of dishes or a vacuum, what else would we register for? i think it makes perfect sense to let people know how they can help you out...in a tactful way, which is what i think is being done here.
It's not pushy, it's not insisting people contribute to your mortgage, it's letting them know what you would like as a gift, if they so choose to get you a gift!
JMO

AtticaQT Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:00 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by palebride

A registry is soliciting gifts from people, is it not?

This is so true. I dont agree with either morgage registry or a bridal registry. Either way you are soliciting somethign from your guests. The difference though is that with a bridal registry for plates or sheets or the like- you are backed by years and years of tradition - and people want to feel like they are helping the couple start a life - with things you need (ok people do register for very pricey things now).

Chances are you are going to get many shocked guests - just be prepared for that - if you are ok with it - go for it.

ETA: Can you register to a place that gives you cash back instead of store credit? At least that way you wont shock people, and you'd be getting your end result without all the talk - chances are you might even get more that way...

dino1109 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:00 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by Rob-luvs-me

Alright I will tell you IMO I think it is tacky IN GENERAL to do things that either FORCE people (not registering) OR asking for money. BUT this is JMO.

If you need money for a house I think you can casually have family members let their friends and family know you are saving for a home - I think people are sympathetic to that and will want to help - that in itself should be enough to encourage people to help you out. But to straight out tell someone you want money to me is not right.

I really want to drop this but also need to comment on this comment....

Like I said previously I am NOT forcing anyone to do this. And I AM registering also to give everyone OPTIONS....

skew Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:00 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Not mean to offend or bash, but that is very distasteful and tacky.

MarcellaBella Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:01 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by dino1109

Posted by Rob-luvs-me

Alright I will tell you IMO I think it is tacky IN GENERAL to do things that either FORCE people (not registering) OR asking for money. BUT this is JMO.

If you need money for a house I think you can casually have family members let their friends and family know you are saving for a home - I think people are sympathetic to that and will want to help - that in itself should be enough to encourage people to help you out. But to straight out tell someone you want money to me is not right.

I really want to drop this but also need to comment on this comment....

Like I said previously I am NOT forcing anyone to do this. And I AM registering also to give everyone OPTIONS....

OMG!! even tackier!!!!

nsgraham Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:02 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I don't think it's tacky at all. I decided not to do it, but I can see exactly where you're coming from and it's your choice. People will be giving you money anyway, why not request that it go to something specific? Everyone stop attacking her! People probably thought registries were tacky when they first came out.

All my BMs are pushing me to directly ask people for money instead of gifts. I would LOVE to do that, but I realized that I didn't want anyone to feel obligated to give me anything. And I like gifts. But I'm also telling anyone who asks that I would really prefer money - I make it go much farther than most people anyway.

violet Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:02 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I think as long as they have options, it's fine. I would only expect them to give if they were coming to the shower where I expect they'll get food and drinks, right?

treilly13 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:02 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I say...to each his/her own.

violet Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:04 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Now that I think about it, I am going to register gifts, but I'm going to tell my mom to tell CLOSE people like family that money would probably help me more since we're trying to save for a house.

palebride Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:04 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

would you ever dare to call someone tacky to their face when they tell you of an idea for their wedding?

she wasn't asking for your opinions - it is already done!!! let's drop the barrage of insults, shall we?