Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Original post by dino1109

Feb 17, 2004 04:29 PM

FH finally set up the account after it being on his TO-Do list for months!

And We just recieved the little cards to include with the shower invitations!! They are actually very cute. I wish I had a scanner to show you.But on the one side it says 'A Bridal Registry Account has been set up for ______ & _______' The & sign is actually two wedding bands. then it explains what it is. On the other side, which is detachable is a note to us from our friends and family after they deposited money to tell us that they did it.

Fran M Posted: Feb 18, 2004 12:33 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I dont get it?

1 - Are you throwing your own shower and including these cards in the invite?

2 - if $$ is what you want you for your shower the person(s) throwing can inform guests If Asked by word of mouth that you really have all you need to set up a home now all you need is the home.

MCDO15 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 12:39 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

whats the difference then getting cash and using that to put it as a down payment as oppose to guest knowing and helping that process? As New Yorkers, we all know that house buying here is not easy.

on the other hand

keeping what you do with the cash is your choice and n00ne needs to know about it...

Silly catch 22 but hey, some will like it and some will hate it.

divabride Posted: Feb 18, 2004 12:40 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I guess no one is reading the original post. What is done, is done...and of her own choosing. Call it what you will, I think the last thing she wanted was to be attacked. We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I think we should respect her decision and stop berating her. I think after the 10 or more posts of 'Your tacky', she gets the message. Just let it go all ready!!

treilly13 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 12:43 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by divabride

I guess no one is reading the original post. What is done, is done...and of her own choosing. Call it what you will, I think the last thing she wanted was to be attacked. We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I think we should respect her decision and stop berating her. I think after the 10 or more posts of 'Your tacky', she gets the message. Just let it go all ready!!

I agree!!!

NYCMeghan Posted: Feb 18, 2004 12:48 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by divabride

I guess no one is reading the original post. What is done, is done...and of her own choosing. Call it what you will, I think the last thing she wanted was to be attacked. We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I think we should respect her decision and stop berating her. I think after the 10 or more posts of 'Your tacky', she gets the message. Just let it go all ready!!

Agreed, it isn't helpful to call a person tacky over and over.

But in reading the original post, I'm confused as to the point. Is it just to inform us that she has gotten something done off the list? If so, then great - I totally can respect the feeling of accomplisment of getting something done - especially if it is something on a FH's to do list. But here is where I disagree. The whole point of these boards (as I understand from the participation agreement) is coversation and cooperation. And while I think the 'your takcy' over and over doesn't help, I don't think an individual can post something about such a sensitive matter and not expect some discussion. This site is full of opinionated women (and some men) who are just as entitled to add their opinion to a post as the original poster is entitled to put it out there.

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, and I agree with the notion that it isn't helpful to criticize an action already done, but perhaps we can take this from a better perspective - what is it about this action that caused such an outroar and is there something that we can all learn from this and perhaps in doing so do a better job of managing this stressful time in our lives?

cocoa Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:22 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

holy crap!!! To badger and bully this poor bride is not necessary and i find it immature that some of you would act that way. Does your $h!t not stink??? i am sure that there are PLENTY of women on this board who HAD to register for vera wang china and only the FINEST linens and what not and HAD to have only the most perfect diamond and only the most expensive hall and dress and so on. to me, that is tacky. personally, i wouldn't dream of asking my family to spend more than what they can afford NOR am i trying to pretend to be someone i am not. but either way, lay off her back!!! if her family doesn't like what she chose, then she has to deal with it. what she doesn't need is a group of people blasting her for her choice. holy crap, get off your untacky pedestals and take a look at yourselves before you smash her down. i'm sorry to be defensive, and yeah, the vera wang china is quite lovely, but be nice!!! please!

nsgraham Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:28 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Thank you cocoa! Agreed!

divabride Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:34 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Amen, Cocoa. I understand the first page of opinions, but I know as sensitive as I am, I would have been in tears reading close to 4 pages of people saying how wrong I am. All Im saying is, she got the message......stop berating her all ready. Lets just all play nice now. Group hug

dm24angel Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:34 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Dino- Im sure you never expected all of this huh? Do what is right FOR YOU. Don't let anyone's opinion matter in the end. I was at a wedding( inPuerto Rico, which we paid to travel to because the brides parents had been born there, they had never even been there) and they registered at Chevy Chase bank..thats it , a bank, nothing as tastful as a mortage card, just' we are registered at Chevy chase bank' Now while I felt that was overdoing it, who am I to say anything, regardless, I was going to give them a certain amount of money for their gift( shower gifts are usually registry gifts) so did it matter if I placed it in their account or in a card? Also..Please people lets be honest, how many of you would say something about people who didn' give much of a gift. That has been my biggest problem with the wedding idea, people feel they should give you money, the last 4 weddings I went to, the families talked about who didn;t cover their plates with a gift( COVER A PLATE? Since when is there a cover charge in a wedding???)
I think Dino that you shoudl not have been called tacky and that if I received something that had two registries, one at your 'store ' and one for the mortgage place..I dont think I would think twice about it, maybe say, well thats new...Good uck to you!
Donna

violet Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

This is no worse than people who put down expensive things on their registry.

Sassyz75 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:50 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I think the harsh opinions could be kept silent... there's a lot of tacky behavior going on- especially since tacky is subjective. I could make a list of things that I think are tacky- and probably 50% of weddings would fall under it... because it's my opinion. But who cares- I had my wedding- I don't care what other people do.. it if works out, more power to you.

NYCMeghan Posted: Feb 18, 2004 04:50 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Actually I think this is much better than registering for super expensive items because at least this way people won't feel pushed outside of their means to buy an expensive gift that they can't afford.

But it is putting guests in an uncomfortable situation because cash and not 'gifts' are involved. This is worse than the 'cover your plate' mentality because you are actually asking people for money. If people choose to give you a check or cash instead of a gift, that is their option, but with this you are backing people into a corner, and while more convenient, and from an objective view probably a very ingenious way of getting what you really want (i.e. a house) weddings in general haven't evolved that much. Most of us still wear a white dress and a veil, dance with our husbands and cut a cake. There is a certain ettiquite surrounding the entire concept of a wedding that a registry of this sort just doesn't quite fit. But hey, if her guests are cool with it, and more importantly if she and her FH are comfortable with it, then isn't that all that matters? Just because I wouldn't dare do something like this doesn't make it not right. But given the emotional response here, I think its probably a good barometer of how guests might feel (whether they say it or not).

cluelessbride Posted: Feb 18, 2004 05:00 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

If I received an invitation with a mortgage registry card inside I would probably be less generous than I would otherwise.

Registry cards are one thing - registries include gifts of all price ranges and help the guest select an item that the couple wants or needs - but $$$, well, no one needs 'help' in giving $ - we give it if we are so inclined or we don't.

I don't think putting expensive things on a registry is wrong - my friends and I always chip in and get the bride and groom a major item from their list for a shower. It's fun for us to do together.

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 06, 2008 11:58 AM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

bumping this old thread... i personally would be like if i got this in a shower invite, wondering what you all think

irishgrl1017 Posted: Apr 06, 2008 12:03 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I agree. I would never do it, but to each their own!

sparkle Posted: Apr 06, 2008 06:16 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I saw one (old) post in this thread where a girl said that NOT registering anywhere is tacky, b/c it forces people to give you money.

I did not register anywhere b/c my mother already bought me everything that I needed (she's retired and has nothing better to do lol). Now that I read this...should I actually be worried that people will think I am 'tacky' because I DIDN'T register anywhere?? This really annoys me. IMO, registering somewhere is basically telling people what to buy you. That's perfectly fine! But has it gotten to the point where people accuse you of being tacky for NOT registering?! Should I make up a list of stuff I don't truly need, for fear that people will thnk it's tacky NOT to have a registry, b/c then people will tend to give you money?? People can buy me whatever gifts they want, OR they can give me money, OR then can give me nothing. Are ppl actually going to think that I'm demanding money just b/c I didn't register?!

Sorry, just had to rant about that, and maybe hear some opinions or words of comfort...that comment just rubbed me the wrong way

lucamon Posted: Apr 06, 2008 06:52 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I registered at Sears but not for typical wedding registry. We have light fixtures, ceiling fan, some small furniture and a dog house on our registry. Is that tacky? FH and I have been living together since we bought our house 2 years ago. We have all everything we need, now we're just looking for upgrades.

Im a Pepper Posted: Apr 06, 2008 07:06 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

i don't think i would do this, but for those who feel comfortable with it, more power to them. if this is what they really want/need, it's great if people are willing to go along with it.

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 06, 2008 07:14 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

Posted by sparkle

I saw one (old) post in this thread where a girl said that NOT registering anywhere is tacky, b/c it forces people to give you money.

I did not register anywhere b/c my mother already bought me everything that I needed (she's retired and has nothing better to do lol). Now that I read this...should I actually be worried that people will think I am 'tacky' because I DIDN'T register anywhere?? This really annoys me. IMO, registering somewhere is basically telling people what to buy you. That's perfectly fine! But has it gotten to the point where people accuse you of being tacky for NOT registering?! Should I make up a list of stuff I don't truly need, for fear that people will thnk it's tacky NOT to have a registry, b/c then people will tend to give you money?? People can buy me whatever gifts they want, OR they can give me money, OR then can give me nothing. Are ppl actually going to think that I'm demanding money just b/c I didn't register?!

Sorry, just had to rant about that, and maybe hear some opinions or words of comfort...that comment just rubbed me the wrong way

this whole post is old, I bumped it this afternoon because I thought it was interesting -- something i had never heard of.

i dont think not registering is tacky, sometimes i think registering period is a bit presumptuous because you are asking for gifts, but it seems to be an accepted custom so we went with it! it's convenient to actually get the things you want.

i think your guests will give cash or gifts they think you will like. you could always make a small registry at home depot, or a store where you might want something, or just tell family to tell people you are grateful for any gifts, of any type, that people choose to give you. (very different from the 'they want cash only' things that might seem offensive to people)

Brat143 Posted: Apr 06, 2008 08:26 PM

Re: Mortgage Bridal Registry Account

I would never do that!!!!!! Put the shoe on the other foot, How would she feel getting that in the mail??? My friend for her second marriage had a reception before she eloped (SP?) and my friends all thaught it was wrong... I gave a $50 g/c to macy's, I was not giving them spending cash for Vegas!!! TACKY!