Mothers of the Groom

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Posted by MomNeedsTissues

Sorry to say that I wasn't included in hardly anything with my sons wedding. Mynow DIL was the 'bridezilla from hell'. She was aweful and treated not only me, MOG but to my daughter and my family.
I had alot of drama and alot of posts on LIW and I got so many words of positives.

It didn't matter what I asked to do/help.get involved, I was always shot down. My only thing to do was show up. We had an aweful fight the day I went with them for my sons tux. He asked me to go, I wasn't happy with 'her' decision but kept my thoughts to myself. When I was leaving she said 'she's going because she isn't getting her way'. I burst out very nasty words and left in tears. That was only one example of my drama. And actually, that was the only thing that I was asked to do. I did everything humanly possible for my son and all I kept getting was shot down and hurt.

IMO and you don't have to take my opinions: it hurts to be left out of your own (and my only) son's wedding. I would try to keep my FMIL involved to what you want her to be but to stand your ground if she over steps hers. You should realize that though 99% of the day is revolving around the bride, its his day also. I was told by my DIL 'this is MY day and it will be done the way I want it'. See my point?
Good luck and please remember that MOG's do have hearts and feelings.

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after reading all of these posts, i just wanted to ask a ???

what if the tables were reversed, it was your mom that was giving you the guilt trip, everytime you did something she had a comment or if you didn't do soemthing her way you'd get the'well i'm not giving you the $$' speech??

If you were to do something w/ FMIL your mom would get very very jelous and resentful, how would you handle this situation???

I really like FMIL, she is a wonderful lady. I would love to include her in certain things like looking for the dress and stuff, but i don't want my mom to give me the speech or guilt trip.

Any advice???

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Posted by kam0813
I don't think its right to NOT include them. I mean its not just my day, its my FH's day as well. So personally, I feel that both families should be equally involved. I love my FIL's very much and I could never dream of leaving them out of any of the planning!

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I am in complete agreement. Sometimes we forget that it is also a very important day for FH family as well. We should at least attempt to include FMIL, but be able to draw some boundaries if they start to overstep them, as one of the 'Moms' mentioned above.

I am very, very lucky to have wonderful future in-laws. FH and his family live 2 house down from me and my family. And my mom goes over to talk occasionally with FMIL. I plan to include FMIL in everything

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Posted by suven
She had the wedding planned down to the last detail- even how 'the bride' would wear 'her' hair. Then, she said, 'well, if your father isn't giving you any money for the wedding, neither am I'

So, after we brought her along for the first few things (looking at halls, even looking at dresses) she showed ZERO concern for my ideas or opinions. I remember her sitting down next to her son at a banquet manager's desk while I was standing in the corner in the back of the room.

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You poor,poor girl!

I started off with my FMIL very rocky....from the size of my ring, to planning the wedding too fast etc. (she had something negative and nasty to say)

Each time was rude, I invited her places (the food tasting) then over the summer, her true colors showed by telling me, 'I don't think of you..you make my son unhappy.'

IMO I think that she's the oddest perosn I have ever met. Even after her nasty words, I included her to see the BM dresses with me and some of the other girls and my mom...she replies, 'I have to work...that's more important.' (she sorts cards...how important is that!)

Well needless to say she stopped being so vocal and gave me a coffeepot for my Birthday. (just very nasty and doesn't think )

IMO I am still going to invite her to things, but I feel like my FMIL has alienated herself! I soooo didn't want it that way!
My mom wasn't included at all in my brother's wedding, and I remembered how she felt about that! Apparently my FMIL doesn't quite care!

My FMIL is a complete crazy woman. She lives quite a long way away, but is still trying to break us up. She has pushed things off and made things a big deal.

Don't think that I'm ragging on FMIL, but it's not always the bride trying to be a witch.