My FH had his bparty last night and I decided to have the girls over for dinner while the guys were out doing their thing. So the girls and I were in deep conversation, one topic led to the other and we then ended up talking about the details to FH bparty. I found out that instead of going to a strip club they decided to just hire them to come to them. I am livid, if they were strippers fine but they are a little more than that. Lets just say they cater a little bit more than the usual. (actually lot more) He got home at 6am and what kills me is that I will never know what happen but for some reason my gut is telling me that whatever happen was not pretty. I trust him but I don't trust his friends or the drink.
What should I do? I feel like I don't even want to be next to him. I'm two weeks from the wedding and I feel disgusted. That is just plain nasty. Like I said I don't mind the strip clubs but having girls over is totally a different story. I could find out details of what happen but what if I find out something terrible? People who know me, know that I don't forgive, if I find out that he screwed up, I will be real quick to terminate this wedding.
IrishAli
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Re: My turn to Vent
Yikes. You are like me...I have a hard time forgiving and an even more difficult time forgetting!
You need to talk to him about what actually happened and tell him that you are very uncomfortable with the whole situation
I hear ya, I'm the same way!! Just ask him to be honest with you. My FH went on 2 BP already for other friends and both had hired them privately to come to the house. I was not happy about that. He is doing his BH in a couple of months in Montreal and I am super nervous cause I heard anything goes there.
MarryingMyBFF1110
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Re: My turn to Vent
Posted by gmo4462
I hear ya, I'm the same way!! Just ask him to be honest with you. My FH went on 2 BP already for other friends and both had hired them privately to come to the house. I was not happy about that. He is doing his BH in a couple of months in Montreal and I am super nervous cause I heard anything goes there.
SAme....it disgusts me, and this is pretty much the only thing that makes me jealous, even though rationally, I know it shouldn't. I don't blame you. Be honest and tell him how you feel. But maybe not knowing is better? I told my FH I never wanna hear a word about it, but that if I even think something happened, I'll cut it off.
kfizz
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Re: My turn to Vent
wow...it think I would be annoyed too. But you need to trust that he is the man you love and he loves you enough to not do something stupid to jeopardize your marriage. I would defiantly talk to him ASAP and let him know how you feel
Good Luck girl
AugustFeather
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Re: My turn to Vent
WOW... I am sorry I would not be happy either. I think its very disrespectful for the groomsmen to plan these 'girls' to come over privately. I really don't understand the whole need to see naked chicks before you get married.. and I think private 'strippers' is really rediculous. FH's had plenty of time before we came into the picture and they decided to marry us. Thankfully my FH is not into strippers or any other female entertainment for B-party. he said he was never into strip clubs.. so why would he suddenly wanna go... makes no sense. He wants to go camping! I trust him 100000% either way... but that doesn't mean I want some gross chick dancing for him! I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel.. Were any guys from your family or your side of friends there?? Maybe you can talk to them
spdy540
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Re: My turn to Vent
I would definitely talk to him. I completely understand how you feel about girls coming over I would be disgusted well and I have a hard time forgiving but I never forget even if I do forgive. But you do have to trust him when he speaks because if you loss your ability to trust him it only escalated from there.
VCanizalez
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Re: My turn to Vent
I am SO Sorry chica... I am just like U...
First of all, (I dont mean NO OFFENSE bc many brides/grooms have done/will do Female/Male Strippers) but I believe it is Completely DISRESPECTFUL to TOUCH another MAN/WOMAN.... That being said, i would be MORE than FURIOUS now with FH.... I would be screaming at him now.....
I think U need to talk to him... and he needs to be honest with u...
Did u had a stripper for Ur bparty? If so, then maybe you should NOT talk about it bc u dd the same thing... If u didnt then def talk to him....
SeptemberBride2012
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Re: My turn to Vent
***CRASHING**** I 100% believe in the saying, 'Go with your GUT instinct' - If something doesn't feel right to you it probably isn't. Some girls can get over the whole stripper thing but others can't- I am in the can't group. I think it is disgusting, demoralizing and just plain disrespectful. I think you DEFINITELY need to talk to your FH about this because if this is a deal breaker for you, better to air it out now than after you are married and hold it against him and have trust issues. I hope everything works out for you.
VCanizalez
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Re: My turn to Vent
Posted by SeptemberBride2012
***CRASHING**** I 100% believe in the saying, 'Go with your GUT instinct' - If something doesn't feel right to you it probably isn't. Some girls can get over the whole stripper thing but others can't- I am in the can't group. I think it is disgusting, demoralizing and just plain disrespectful. I think you DEFINITELY need to talk to your FH about this because if this is a deal breaker for you, better to air it out now than after you are married and hold it against him and have trust issues. I hope everything works out for you.
ITA... GREAT ADVICe...
and Its true... If u are in the *CANT* group (like myself too) then this will be BAD for the Marriage....
GlitterBox24
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Re: My turn to Vent
Fh and i are actually have 2 destination bach parties and 2 weeks before are doing a huge joint one at a strip club (im in the not against strip clubs) but anyway, if it makes you feel any better, ive help organized those types of bach parties for my cousins, and those girls do NOT go alone. For secutiries reasons they go witha bouncer, so that things do not get out of line.. Im not sure where these girls are from, but all the ones we have hired always come with a bouncer, and the same rules that apply at the strip club also apply at these private parties.
adelz
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Re: My turn to Vent
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Sue If you don't have a good feeling about what took place, I would approach him, very calmly and just try to get his side of the story. I'm sure everything will work out okay, but it would give you ease of mind to know that everything's okay. Or maybe you can ask one of your girls to ask one of his guys what took place in case you don't want to have that conversation.
jovigirl414
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Re: My turn to Vent
I agree with the rest of the girls ... You don't want this eating away at you just before the wedding. He should have no problems telling you whatever happened, especially if he did the right thing.
adelya21
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Re: My turn to Vent
from what she said though they sound like theyre more like escorts than just strippers so i dont know. either way i would be livid if my FH decided to have strippers over. that would NOT be okay!!! Sue, ask him about it!!! its not good to be this uncomfortable so close to your wedding. I would also ask someone else other than ur fh about the party if at all possible. I am all about trusting Fhs but when it comes to stuff like this I personally would feel better getting another person to verify what FH said.
Posted by GlitterBox24
Fh and i are actually have 2 destination bach parties and 2 weeks before are doing a huge joint one at a strip club (im in the not against strip clubs) but anyway, if it makes you feel any better, ive help organized those types of bach parties for my cousins, and those girls do NOT go alone. For secutiries reasons they go witha bouncer, so that things do not get out of line.. Im not sure where these girls are from, but all the ones we have hired always come with a bouncer, and the same rules that apply at the strip club also apply at these private parties.
Im getting Married
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Re: My turn to Vent
To tell you the truth I would ask him about the Bach party (hopefully he tells you the truth) since you thought they were going somewhere not having strippers come to them.
I'm sorry but I would have to ask I can't live with the not knowing and always wondering. Only you know your FH. After listening to him you have to go with your gut and heart.
Soon2bMrsB91511
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Re: My turn to Vent
My FH is having his Bachelor Party (too many BP abbreviations lol) in Montreal as well...they're doing some VIP package where I think strippers come to their door too . But, I'm most likely having strippers come to my hotel room as well, and he knows it.
Obviously, I'm not thrilled about this, and I'm sure few girls looks forward to their FHs bachelor parties, but it comes with the territory of getting married and its one of those things we all dread.
I realize its tough to question and be uncertain, but honestly, if you love him and you trust him, you gotta let it go, otherwise you'll just drive yourself crazy. If you're still uneasy about it, you need to talk to him, but again, you need to trust him, and trust that he'll be honest with you about what happened.
The way I see it, if he has given you no reason not to trust him thus far, its not something to go crazy over.
ETA: I would NOT recommend asking his friends. Not only will it may you appear totally insecure, but you'll also be 'that girl', and let's face it, bro's before ho's. His boys will always have his back before yours...if you're gonna ask anyone, ask him.
rendel
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Re: My turn to Vent
You need to speak to him Sue!!!!! This is not the type of cloud you want hanging over the last few weeks before you get married!!!!!!!!!
DANAnPATRICK
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Re: My turn to Vent
Posted by Soon2bMrsB91511
Obviously, I'm not thrilled about this, and I'm sure few girls looks forward to their FHs bachelor parties, but it comes with the territory of getting married and its one of those things we all dread.
I do not agree with the statement that strippers come with the territory of marriage, Me and my FH have been to strip clubs together with friends multiple times so I'm definitely not the uptight prude wife material but nowhere in our engagement did it say in order to get married we have to play with half naked strangers first with our bridal party around to root us on. My FH and I have agreed that theres no need to separately see sweaty half naked people grind on us right before we commit our love to each other...
Soon2bMrsB91511
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Re: My turn to Vent
Posted by DANAnPATRICK
Posted by Soon2bMrsB91511
Obviously, I'm not thrilled about this, and I'm sure few girls looks forward to their FHs bachelor parties, but it comes with the territory of getting married and its one of those things we all dread.
I do not agree with the statement that strippers come with the territory of marriage, Me and my FH have been to strip clubs together with friends multiple times so I'm definitely not the uptight prude wife material but nowhere in our engagement did it say in order to get married we have to play with half naked strangers first with our bridal party around to root us on. My FH and I have agreed that theres no need to separately see sweaty half naked people grind on us right before we commit our love to each other...
I never specified that 'strippers come with the territory'. What I was saying was that 'bachelor/bachelorette parties' come with the territories of marriage.
adelz
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Re: My turn to Vent
Posted by Soon2bMrsB91511
Posted by DANAnPATRICK
Posted by Soon2bMrsB91511
Obviously, I'm not thrilled about this, and I'm sure few girls looks forward to their FHs bachelor parties, but it comes with the territory of getting married and its one of those things we all dread.
I do not agree with the statement that strippers come with the territory of marriage, Me and my FH have been to strip clubs together with friends multiple times so I'm definitely not the uptight prude wife material but nowhere in our engagement did it say in order to get married we have to play with half naked strangers first with our bridal party around to root us on. My FH and I have agreed that theres no need to separately see sweaty half naked people grind on us right before we commit our love to each other...
I never specified that 'strippers come with the territory'. What I was saying was that 'bachelor/bachelorette parties' come with the territories of marriage.
FH and I agreed that we both didn't want to have a bachelor or bachelorette party...I hope that means we can still get married
