Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 27, 2003 11:32 AM

Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Ok, I will make this as brief as possible:

Fh has a friend who has been dating this girl off and on for 5 years.

They have a very tumultuos history together.

Examples:

1. He put a restraining order against her
2. She tried to run him over with her car

On top of that she is very jealous and insecure and from day one has been nagging him to get married.

I think now they are currently 'on'. We told him that we do not want him to bring her to the wedding- since last year.

Also, every time they go to a wedding she gets sad because it is not her and they are very tense.

Now, he is hinting he wants to bring her, promising they will behave.

I told FH NO WAY!!!

thoughts please.

Annemarie13 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 11:35 AM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

No Way!!! You dont need any unnecessary drama at your wedding!

Olgaki Posted: Jun 27, 2003 11:36 AM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

I agree - even lie and say you can't afford her I never allow lying unless it is for the decrease of DRAMA!

butterfly20 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 11:58 AM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

i agree with you... she sounds way too unstable to handle something like that...
tell him the only was he can bring her is if he's engaged to her so that shes not jealous

Mandy77 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 12:06 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

I have a similar situation. My FH's friend has a girlfriend that no one likes and she is a thief!!!

I was told that if we invite the friend, then she will be coming regardless. There really isn't much I can do about it.

I don't think you should tell people who they can or can't bring....if you told him he couldn't bring her, would he still go??

prncssrachel Posted: Jun 27, 2003 12:07 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

No, I say no no no. JMO.

Alvatorre74 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 12:07 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

well dont u think he might feel bad and not come at all if its not with her...

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 27, 2003 12:15 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

He will feel bad, but I do not want to risk a scene between thme at the wedding.

alina Posted: Jun 27, 2003 01:54 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Keisha, how bad do they get if they fight?

Like do they start screaming/yelling/cursing or does she just get upset guetly, and they argue in whispers or walk out of the room?

If its 1, dont invite them, but

If its 2, invite them, b/c if they have a quiet fight, you probably won't even notice, but the FH's friend will feel better having a gf there.

mv1003 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:08 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

K- sorry you even have to think of their drama for your invites. She sounds like the type to sit there and pout b/c it's not her- and if so- you'll never notice.
I don't think you're telling him who he can and can't bring- you just don't know to invite him, just him or & guest? I'd say, just invite & guest, and hope he knows her better to leave her behind.
LOVE the idea of saying, you can bring her if you're engaged to her! lol-
I think I know the same couple btw!!! She's incredible!

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:30 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Thanks for the advice.

I still do not know what to do, it is a hard decision.

MrsTC Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:38 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

I wouldn't take the chance of her ruining your day. But what happens if she finds out there were other couples there?

Sassyz75 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:55 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

I disagree- if you are inviting him with guest and he is dating her, you just have to deal.... Your friends are your friends in good times & in bad and you can't say we like you, but we hate your taste in women so you can't bring your date- IMO that's plain rude.

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 27, 2003 02:57 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Sassy, I normally would agree, but this couple has a history of unhealthy behavior.

He even told us that he would come alone- initially.

I am going to have a lot to worry about, a fighting couple is something I should not have to be concerned about,

Jordan Posted: Jun 27, 2003 03:00 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

You're right - you shouldn't be concerned. You shouldn't even think about it...if he's FHs friend, you can't tell him who he can & can't invite. I agree with Sassy 100%.

Sassyz75 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 03:04 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Right but if they have a history of unhealthy behavior then you simply shouldn't invite either of them- it is unfair to pin the entire sh*t relationship on her- there are 2 players in that game.

If I didn't invite 'potentially embarrassing' people to my wedding I'd have had 1/2 the # of guests.

At the end of the day- it's a party- and simply that- things aren't going to be 100% perfect and i think forcing perfection by insulting guests is a no-no.

Jordan Posted: Jun 27, 2003 03:06 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

I like the way you think, Sassy

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 27, 2003 03:09 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Thank you Sassy, however I think their situation is more than potential it is a matter of I know they will be emabarassing. This is a good friend of FH's who he wants there, so not inviting him is not an option.

Sassyz75 Posted: Jun 27, 2003 03:16 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

What if people that are at your wedding that have a healthy relationship decide to fight at your reception? Are you going to have them ejected?

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 27, 2003 03:22 PM

Re: Need Advice- re: inviting a couple to the wedding

Sassy, you to seem to be coming at me as if I am being the bad guy here. Normally I am a nice, easy going person. You are right I cannot control everybody at the wedding, and you are right the couple with the healthiest relationship could embarass the heck out of themselves.- valid points you have.

I have seen and heard many things about this couple that will make you cringe. It is making me feel uncomfortable. I know at a wedding your aim is to make your guests feel at ease and happy and comfortable, but I want to feel that way too.