Need honest opinions

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Kristin, didn't he have this planned for a while now?

You're totally psyching yourself out and probably coming off as a crazy girlfriend to him. Seriously, stop thinking about it. And stop bugging him about it. He's had it planned for a while and your completely tripping. Stop.




Edited b/c I read your replies. And you're still coming off as psycho fiance to me. Are you being psycho? When did you find out it was 5 days? Just now?

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recently..I know what your saying..Im trying to stop bringing it up..I just have major insecurity issues mainly with myself

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Posted by MikeandJess

think of it this way. If you were going away for 5 nights with your girls, the same days as your FH's, would you still be upset with him?

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lol good point..probably not

honestly i don't get the whole thing with bacholer/bacholerette parties having to be like a week long thing. I dont know just my opinion i really could care less if I even have one

FH wont be home to even have one and I do feel bad because I know he would enjoy himself and he deserves to with his friends...but I also know he wouldn't be going away for 5 days somewhere.

I do think 5 days is alot right before a wedding- especially if he is paying for alot of it. but honestly i wouldn't be mad just jealous- like fh is jealous i am going to vegas in 3 days with some of the girls on here. but he isnt mad.

the only thing i would be mad about if FH came home in enough time to actually go on a BP and was gone for 5 days because i NEVER see him and then all of a sudden he takes 5 days up to go celebrate meanwhile i wuold be home getting things ready for the wedding. But that is just because I never see him and would feel like he didn't want to spend time with me

Good Luck Kristin!! It will go fast. I promise!! FH has been in Iraq for 3 months and I cannot believe how fast that went---5 days will feel like a breeze once it is all said and done!!

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Posted by cbcf

honestly i don't get the whole thing with bacholer/bacholerette parties having to be like a week long thing. I dont know just my opinion i really could care less if I even have one

FH wont be home to even have one and I do feel bad because I know he would enjoy himself and he deserves to with his friends...but I also know he wouldn't be going away for 5 days somewhere.

I do think 5 days is alot right before a wedding- especially if he is paying for alot of it. but honestly i wouldn't be mad just jealous- like fh is jealous i am going to vegas in 3 days with some of the girls on here. but he isnt mad.

the only thing i would be mad about if FH came home in enough time to actually go on a BP and was gone for 5 days because i NEVER see him and then all of a sudden he takes 5 days up to go celebrate meanwhile i wuold be home getting things ready for the wedding. But that is just because I never see him and would feel like he didn't want to spend time with me

Good Luck Kristin!! It will go fast. I promise!! FH has been in Iraq for 3 months and I cannot believe how fast that went---5 days will feel like a breeze once it is all said and done!!

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It seems like everyone thinks automatically that i have trust issues and thats not really it...5 days is a lot..he just started a new job and he doesn't have any vacay time yet..so how can he take off for this bparty and then our hm? its a little much and Im afraid it may be a problem

i think making a vacation out of a bachelor or bachelorette party is a little excessive but thats JMO - if my friends could afford to take me to vegas or any other place to be honest i wouldn't even want to go - and to really be honest even if my friends had the money i dont think they would want to go either so i think it depends on what kind of people you hang out with and their money situations - i know the people planning mine would rather spend their money going on a vacation with their husband and boyfriends and i feel the same way - i rather go away with my FH for a long weekend then spend it on a bachelorette party....i know that my FH feels the same way....but thats the type of people FH and I are....if i was single i probably wouldnt mind doing the overnight/vacation thing but im just very settled down with FH - i would miss him and our pooch the whole time!

kristin - i think it would upset me that my FH was going away for 5 days b/c those are 5 days that WE could have gone away instead and i think id be a little upset that he was going away for 5 days for his BP b/c i would feel like he wasnt even going to miss me b/c he'd be too busy getting wasted and partying and that would hurt my feelings - ive gone away to see my parents in florida for the weekend and i miss him the whole time i am there so to think that he was away without missing me b/c he was to busy partying would upset me....it wouldnt be so much about the trust thing so i think i understand what you might be trying to say

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i think making a vacation out of a bachelor or bachelorette party is a little excessive but thats JMO - if my friends could afford to take me to vegas or any other place to be honest i wouldn't even want to go - and to really be honest even if my friends had the money i dont think they would want to go either so i think it depends on what kind of people you hang out with and their money situations - i know the people planning mine would rather spend their money going on a vacation with their husband and boyfriends and i feel the same way - i rather go away with my FH for a long weekend then spend it on a bachelorette party....i know that my FH feels the same way....but thats the type of people FH and I are....if i was single i probably wouldnt mind doing the overnight/vacation thing but im just very settled down with FH - i would miss him and our pooch the whole time!

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thats how I feel also!

i think you might be over-reacting a little bit. If my FH went to Vegas I might not be the happiest person about it but I wouldnt get angry at him for wanting to go.

Dont worry about him there. You just have to trust him and yourself

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by cbcf

honestly i don't get the whole thing with bacholer/bacholerette parties having to be like a week long thing. I dont know just my opinion i really could care less if I even have one

FH wont be home to even have one and I do feel bad because I know he would enjoy himself and he deserves to with his friends...but I also know he wouldn't be going away for 5 days somewhere.

I do think 5 days is alot right before a wedding- especially if he is paying for alot of it. but honestly i wouldn't be mad just jealous- like fh is jealous i am going to vegas in 3 days with some of the girls on here. but he isnt mad.

the only thing i would be mad about if FH came home in enough time to actually go on a BP and was gone for 5 days because i NEVER see him and then all of a sudden he takes 5 days up to go celebrate meanwhile i wuold be home getting things ready for the wedding. But that is just because I never see him and would feel like he didn't want to spend time with me

Good Luck Kristin!! It will go fast. I promise!! FH has been in Iraq for 3 months and I cannot believe how fast that went---5 days will feel like a breeze once it is all said and done!!

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It seems like everyone thinks automatically that i have trust issues and thats not really it...5 days is a lot..he just started a new job and he doesn't have any vacay time yet..so how can he take off for this bparty and then our hm? its a little much and Im afraid it may be a problem

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i agree with you....it is alot for just starting a new job and knowing you have a wedding to pay for as well as a house. i don't think it is trust issues at all, that is why i didn't even mention that. because honestly it isnt my place either. just from hearing your side it seems like alot of days to go away for and i can understand the upsetting feelings how all the guys are more excited about this than the wedding!!

sometimes i realize that I am here to help FH rationalize haha. Seriously though without me I don't think he would think about things before he does them. Like he wants to buy a motorcycle when he comes home from iraq- i said 1st off you saved all this money for the wedding and extra to have because he wont have a job right away and he wants to spend it on a freakin motorcycle. yeah that idea was squashed until he gets a job haha.

but maybe he just needs a little rationalizing. but good luck with it all...and i hope everything works out. try not to worry to much, i know its hard but you will just make yourself sick overthinking it all...i know i do that sometimes!!

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by MikeandJess

think of it this way. If you were going away for 5 nights with your girls, the same days as your FH's, would you still be upset with him?

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lol good point..probably not

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ok, so in this case it's probably a jealousy thing and not a length of time issue. It's a really hard situation because you want to be happy for him that he has great friends that are taking him away for 5 days but you also feel sad because you'll be without your FH for 5 days. IMO, you have your whole lives together, 5 day is nothing! When it's over and he's back home you're going to feel sorry you ever felt bad. Try to make plans for those 5 days he'll be gone so you don't feel lonely. You and I can have a doggie GTG

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by cbcf

honestly i don't get the whole thing with bacholer/bacholerette parties having to be like a week long thing. I dont know just my opinion i really could care less if I even have one

FH wont be home to even have one and I do feel bad because I know he would enjoy himself and he deserves to with his friends...but I also know he wouldn't be going away for 5 days somewhere.

I do think 5 days is alot right before a wedding- especially if he is paying for alot of it. but honestly i wouldn't be mad just jealous- like fh is jealous i am going to vegas in 3 days with some of the girls on here. but he isnt mad.

the only thing i would be mad about if FH came home in enough time to actually go on a BP and was gone for 5 days because i NEVER see him and then all of a sudden he takes 5 days up to go celebrate meanwhile i wuold be home getting things ready for the wedding. But that is just because I never see him and would feel like he didn't want to spend time with me

Good Luck Kristin!! It will go fast. I promise!! FH has been in Iraq for 3 months and I cannot believe how fast that went---5 days will feel like a breeze once it is all said and done!!

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It seems like everyone thinks automatically that i have trust issues and thats not really it...5 days is a lot..he just started a new job and he doesn't have any vacay time yet..so how can he take off for this bparty and then our hm? its a little much and Im afraid it may be a problem

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i agree with you....it is alot for just starting a new job and knowing you have a wedding to pay for as well as a house. i don't think it is trust issues at all, that is why i didn't even mention that. because honestly it isnt my place either. just from hearing your side it seems like alot of days to go away for and i can understand the upsetting feelings how all the guys are more excited about this than the wedding!!

sometimes i realize that I am here to help FH rationalize haha. Seriously though without me I don't think he would think about things before he does them. Like he wants to buy a motorcycle when he comes home from iraq- i said 1st off you saved all this money for the wedding and extra to have because he wont have a job right away and he wants to spend it on a freakin motorcycle. yeah that idea was squashed until he gets a job haha.

but maybe he just needs a little rationalizing. but good luck with it all...and i hope everything works out. try not to worry to much, i know its hard but you will just make yourself sick overthinking it all...i know i do that sometimes!!

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thats exactly it! im afraid of the money and its hard with the wedding and a house..and all the days he would need off! I have to admit, a part of me is a little jealous..but a lot of me is worried about him gambling also..we don't have money to splurge

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by MikeandJess

think of it this way. If you were going away for 5 nights with your girls, the same days as your FH's, would you still be upset with him?

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lol good point..probably not

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ok, so in this case it's probably a jealousy thing and not a length of time issue. It's a really hard situation because you want to be happy for him that he has great friends that are taking him away for 5 days but you also feel sad because you'll be without your FH for 5 days. IMO, you have your whole lives together, 5 day is nothing! When it's over and he's back home you're going to feel sorry you ever felt bad. Try to make plans for those 5 days he'll be gone so you don't feel lonely. You and I can have a doggie GTG

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partly..but also because he just started a new job..how can he get this many days off? (we need 10 for the hm already) and also the money..he wants to gamble the whole time and we just bought a house and have a wedding to pay for and thanks jess you always crack me up

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i think making a vacation out of a bachelor or bachelorette party is a little excessive but thats JMO - if my friends could afford to take me to vegas or any other place to be honest i wouldn't even want to go - and to really be honest even if my friends had the money i dont think they would want to go either so i think it depends on what kind of people you hang out with and their money situations - i know the people planning mine would rather spend their money going on a vacation with their husband and boyfriends and i feel the same way - i rather go away with my FH for a long weekend then spend it on a bachelorette party....i know that my FH feels the same way....but thats the type of people FH and I are....if i was single i probably wouldnt mind doing the overnight/vacation thing but im just very settled down with FH - i would miss him and our pooch the whole time!

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Nicole I have to agree...I would honestly rather go away with FH than a 5 day bacholerette party with friends. I dont know but that is just me as well. I know i am going in 3 days to vegas with danielle/heather/jessie/dana but FH isnt around and he told me to go ahead and have fun and i deserve it, but i do feel guilty because i am not going with FH. I know I will enjoy myself with those girls because i love being with them- but i know i feel guilty that i can't go with FH as well lol

Dh also went to vegas for his bachelor party in april.

I was ok with it. The way i saw it was that a guy who doesnt cheat wont cheat just one time for his bachelor party, if a guy does something then its something he would do regardless of where he was.

I thought i'd get a little worried while he was away but the whole time he was gone i was fine with it. I didnt call him while he was away, he was the one always calling and texting while he was out.

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by jgl

i dont think it is the amount of time that would bother me... i think you mentioned that you dont like his BM and that you dont trust the BM. I think that is the real issue so then yes i would be mad at him for going away that long with the BM

ETA i just want to say that in general i dont see the necessity to go away for a bach/bachlorette party.

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I do trust his bm (thankgod). In fact he is my friend too..but there is another person in his bp that i don't care for

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let his friend do whatever his friend wants to do and not worry about him. Your FH is a grown man and will make his own decisions. I think even some of us females have been in that situation before, i know my ex hated a friend of mine, she was wild and i hated that he would think just bc she is doing something meant i would too. I am my own person and didnt follow whatever she did

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by RisiLeigh

I told my FH no Vegas!!! So instead, they are going to Atlantic City for 4 days and 3 nights. I am not thrilled with that, either, but at least he kept his promise and aren't going to Vegas. He already prepped me that there will be strippers. He knows I am the type to freak even more if I DON'T know what's going on. I don't want major details or anything, I just wanna know if they gambled the whole time or saw strippers or what. I am gonna be a wreck the whole weekend he's gone, so I know how you feel

What weekend is it? Maybe we should hang out LOL!

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Its from wed jul 30- aug 3 and thats a great idea!

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That's when MY FH is going - July 31 to Aug 3!! I am serious - we should do something!!! Where do you live???

I can see what you are saying about vacation time from work and money...I totally agree....my FH dosent get a whole lot of vacation time so when he does get it we go away together...I would also rather put the money for upgrades for our honeymoon

But the thing is if it is already booked and set then theres no sense in making yourself a wreck over this...the days will fly and he'll be home....Im sure after hearing your concerns he will shorten the trip if he can

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Posted by LCnAC

honestly, i would just let him go have his fun...besides, the bachelor party is more of an excuse for his friends to go away anyways. I just went away for 5 days to Turks and Caicos with 7 of my girlfriends and he just got back from Key West for a week with the guys..it was just a vacation not a bachelor/bachelorette party. And he missed my college graduation but i didnt even mind. Sometimes you need the time away to really appreciate what you have waiting at home!!

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i agree.

I will admit that when i was younger, i was different. I would fight and worry even about 1 night of going out and it was pointless. I learned the hardway that doing your own thing and having your time is key to a healthy relationship. With ex's in the past it would be all about 'well what did you do last night, who did you see' but it was also done to me and i hated it too, but wouldnt stop myself from doing it. There was another couple too i was good friends with and they NEVER went out without eachother, the only reason they never did was bc the moment one of them went out alone the other one thought thats it this person is going to cheat, i used to wonder why they are together then, why be with somebody that you think the moment they will be away from you they will cheat on you, its really no way to live. You want to be with somebody that eases your mind, that can go out and you will trust them, and thats why you are marrying your FH bc you believe he is that guy.

A guy/girl that does not cheat wont cheat just bc its their bachelor/bachelorette party. If someone does cheat its bc its something they have done in the past too and who they are, you know your FH and youre marrying him bc you know hes not that guy.

Let me say that as much as i hate when dh and i are apart, it also makes us realize each time how much you truly love this person, you know it already obviously but just reminds you sometimes which is good when you go through a routine. One of my best memories with DH is when he went away to philly for the weekend, he kept calling me on his way home saying he couldnt wait to see me, i pretended that he was getting back too late so i would wait to see him until the next day and even though he was upset he had no choice but to understand. I decided to surprise him, got him a card and some other stuff and parked up the block waiting for him to get home, well i was parked too far so i had to call to say im there bc he went in too quickly, the second i said i was there he didnt even let me finish, came outside and ran down the block, i thought he was going to knock me down and hugged me so hard, picked me up and carried me back down the block, seeing that reaction is my fondest memory of him. Even other times we've been away, that moment when we see eachother again is priceless.

Even for his bachelor party, he finds it funny that when he was at a strip club and one of the strippers came over and was talking to him, he turned to his friends and said 'wow i cant believe how much i miss Denise' his friends found that histerical, its weird and i know other girls wouldnt feel the same but i found it so sweet Dh gets homesick quickly, he LOVES vegas and has been there about 6 times, but when he came back he was saying in a shocked way ' i couldnt believe how much i missed you' he said i knew i would miss you but i felt lost W**' dont get me wrong he had alot of fun the first 3 nights, but the last night he didnt even go out and he even got home earlier the next day

Doing your own thing is very healthy for relationships, going out with friends, even going away with friends, having interests and hobbies.

Not really because my fh is pretty honest about everything and he doesn't feel the need to do stupid things that I have to worry about.

It all depends on what you think your husband is capable of doing out there in Las Vegas for 5 days. When i mean capable, i mean does he show characteristics of a man that can go buck wild and do something that he will regret later if given the opportunity.