Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

I am so stressed. More so than I have been this whole time planning. My dad wants me to invite 16 more people to the wedding (which is in 3 months) The hall just doesn't have the room. Now I have to call him and tell him I can't. The room max is 140 and with these 16 more that brings the list to 171. What should I do? I never needed your helo more than I do now.

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

be honest & explain to him exactly what you wrote here.

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

Have you received any 'no' responses? If so, then you might have room to add those 16 people. It is hard, I know, we wanted 140 people, the list is now 215, we can't even afford to have all those people come, but the list is done, definately NO more adding - even when we do get 'no' responses. I hope this helps a little.

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

Michele....I am so sorry that you have to be stressed about this especially since your wedding day is nearing. You should just be honest with your father though. I am sure that if this was brought up ealier you would try to accomodate the extra 16 people the best you can. But, you have already booked your hall to accomodate the amount of guests that were already invited. He has got to understand that it is too close to the day and it is too late to book another hall that will accomodate the extra 16 people. Even if it wasn't why would you want to change your whole wedding around for these 16 guests that weren't important to invite to begin with. You have to enjoy this time because its going to be the best time in your life. Don't let anything ruin it....you aren't wrong by being honest with your father. If he doesn't understand he will be in the wrong in my opinion. Goodluck and let me know what happens! I know it will work out....

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

I was having the same problems with my parents but told them that there is limited space and suggested that they will have to wait for your regrets to come in in order to accomodate any additional last minute guests. They thought that was fair. I have an A list and a B list (this sounds impersonal but I had to do this to avoid going insane!!). The extra people will be on your B list. You send out the invitations to the A list first. If anyone replies that they can't make it, automatically go to your B list and send out the invite. Explain your constraints to your parents and your plans to include your dad's friends if the space becomes availible. You have stand up for yourself. This is your day and these 16 people are not going to spoil it!!!!

Another option you have is you can ask your banquet manager for suggestions. I am sure they have ran into similar problems in the past.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you need further support. We are here for you!!!!!

Karen

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

Michele, I know how you feel. Our invite list and seating was probably the most stressful part of the wedding. I was in tears about it one night and had even considered trying to change halls with less than a month to go!!

Just explain the situation to your father. I'm sure he will understand...there is nothing you can do to make the room bigger. He should have thought about these guests sooner. But to make a comprimise maybe you can suggest to him that you will put these guests on a B list and invite them if their is enough room.

Good luck.

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

i think you'll be ok...

attrition rate for weddings is usually 20%...so thats 34 for you...putting you below 140...also are you inviting people with guests? chances are that some may come alone...

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

Hi Michele -

I agree with the B-list suggestion. Explain to your dad that the hall is really at its max, but that for every No you get, you'll be more than happy to invite one of these extra people. It will require some additional work on your part - you have to make sure invitations go out early enough so that the B-list people have enough time to RSVP and don't realize they're on the B-list.

Good Luck!!!

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

I would be honest with your father about the whole situations but the B-list is a great idea. I had an A-list and a B-list for my wedding at it helped. Everytime I received a NO I sent out an invite from the B-list it helps.

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

I don't know what I would do without you guys! You have made me feel so much better. I was actually crying about this b4...I spoke to my dad and he felt terrible that I was crying, and he came up with the B list idea, so that's what I'm going to do. I really appreciate your advice and support. You are the best and I hope I can help you out if you need it too!

Re: Need to vent about guest list! Please help!!!

it's my gut feeling that you will wind up having room for all these people, good luck!