Need to vent! BM and $$$!

o, I'm about 390+ days away from my wedding and haven't even asked all of my BMs yet...however, I pretty much have the entire thing planned out...down to the smallest detail.

Having said that - I have my heart set on the BMs wearing long JCrew BM dresses in a certain color. They can wear whichever STYLE they decide (there are 5 different ones in the same fabric that they can choose from) but I'm pretty sold on the length and color.

Now.

My issue.

My cousin mentioned to me about how expensive they are - they're $365.
I understand that, so my rebuttal to her is that they are TRUE TO SIZE and do not need alterations like other dresses.

Still, it seems to be an issue.

I've looked at other designers and no one compares. (Just as a side note, I OWN the dress in a short cut...IN THE SAME COLOR! So I know how much I love it!)

Do I offer to pay $100 towards each of their dresses?
Do I offer to pay for their makeup or hair or both?

What is my compromise?

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

I mean, that's really expensive for a bridesmaid dress... they most likely aren't going to rewear a long dress, and if it was short, then I would say go for it because at least it might get reworn... so if your really set on that dress, then I think offering like $100 towards the dress would be really nice, or the hair/makeup thing is also a very good idea

but just to give you an idea: I went to Burton's in Melville and had my girls pick whatever chiffon bill levkoff dress they wanted, and then they all got the same color and it was only about $150 for the dresses. That store has the dresses very cheap. Sooo, you can actually call burton's and ask for Carol and see if she can order those J Crew dresses for you, and if so, how much they would be. Her prices are like $50-60 cheaper than everywhere else. Might be worth a shot, but J Crew isn't really a big name bridesmaid brand. Might as well try calling though

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

In my honest opinion, that's pretty steep to ask. Think of all the money they are already spending on the shower, bach party, wedding gift, any other items they need for your big day. I would look around honestly. My girls got their dresses at david's bridal for $125 and I would honestly not ask them to pay a penny more. Even $100 towards their dress is still $256 per dress.. a lot to me, I wouldn't pay it..

Re: Need to vent! BM and $$$!

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Posted by cets1290

I mean, that's really expensive for a bridesmaid dress... they most likely aren't going to rewear a long dress, and if it was short, then I would say go for it because at least it might get reworn... so if your really set on that dress, then I think offering like $100 towards the dress would be really nice, or the hair/makeup thing is also a very good idea

but just to give you an idea: I went to Burton's in Melville and had my girls pick whatever chiffon bill levkoff dress they wanted, and then they all got the same color and it was only about $150 for the dresses. That store has the dresses very cheap. Sooo, you can actually call burton's and ask for Carol and see if she can order those J Crew dresses for you, and if so, how much they would be. Her prices are like $50-60 cheaper than everywhere else. Might be worth a shot, but J Crew isn't really a big name bridesmaid brand. Might as well try calling though

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I agree. That is a lot of money.. Especially when they have other wedding expenses like hair/makeup, potential travel, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. I agree, check out all the options. Also, find out when they have their sales bc I have heard of girls getting jcrew dresses cheaper during their sale. If you can't find them cheaper and you're still set on that dress, then maybe think about contributing or paying for hair/makeup.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

Yowza. That is a lot for a bridesmaids dress. I feel so guilty my girls had to pay $190 for theirs (after tax). If I were a bridesmaid, I would never pay that for a dress. If you're still set on it, paying half would be a good compromise.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

The only thing I can say is to watch for a sale. I think I saw a girl on here who said that the dresses go on sale frequently and sometimes are $200 or $100. Plus then she was able to buy them all and open a J. Crew card and save an additional percentage.

But yes, asking someone to pay $365 (or even $265) for a short dress is pretty crazy if you ask me! I think I'm going with David's Bridal or going through the store I bought my dress at which will give the girls 15% off each.

Re: Need to vent! BM and $$$!

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Posted by ldequatro

In my honest opinion, that's pretty steep to ask. Think of all the money they are already spending on the shower, bach party, wedding gift, any other items they need for your big day. I would look around honestly. My girls got their dresses at david's bridal for $125 and I would honestly not ask them to pay a penny more. Even $100 towards their dress is still $256 per dress.. a lot to me, I wouldn't pay it..

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I have to agree with this. My girls just got their dresses at David's Bridal. I let them pick their own and they ranged from $100 to $160, but it was their choice to pay that much.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

I agree with the rest of the ladies that the dress is pretty expensive. Look out for sales and keep looking at bridal stores you might find something else you love.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

I've always heard great things about those dresses but never realized how much money they were. I agree with everyone thats definitely a lot of money to ask them to pay.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

Well to start with you really should have asked your bridesmaids their price range before you picked a dress...

Once tax is added, your bridesmaids are basically looking at spending $400 on a dress that they're never going to wear again. My dresses were about $200 and within everyone's price range and I still felt guilty about it. Also 'true to size' doesn't mean they won't need alterations.

You should definitely pay at least $100 towards the dresses, if not more, but if it were me I'd find a different dress.

Re: Need to vent! BM and $$$!

How many girls do you have? As a gift, I would put some money toward it if this is something you truly want for them. It is a lot of money. I know it's part of the agreement when you agree to become a bridesmaid but I also feel us brides should be fair.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

I really think it's a lot of money to ask your bms to spend. Even if you put ,oney towards the dress, almost $300 is still a lot of money. And some girls may still need alterations regardless if its true to size. I felt so guilty about making mine buy a dress I knew they'd never wear again and I let them pick their own style and price range.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

It's definitely too much, at least in my opinion. My girls and I went to davids bridal and they spent around 160.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

I did J.Crew as well. Mine, however, was only 200 after a 15% discount. It was still a lot in my opinion but they were the ones that picked it out so I did not feel as guilty. That being said, I was in a wedding once where the bride asked us to spend 400. We all agreed as this is what she wanted. The dress, while lovely, could never be worn again. Because of that, we were not able to do what we wanted for her at her shower or for her bachelorette. We werent bitter or angry, we just couldn't afford it. We had to cut costs and it was a lot less of an enjoyable experience. Just take a minute to think about how much 400 is to some people. And think about it for yourself as well. Is giving them each 100 towards it really in your budget? After planning my wedding for well over a year I have come to realize, nobody really cares as much as you do. In the end, this dress is going to look just as old and dated as everyone elses in ten years. It really doesnt matter and you want to try to keep your bridesmaids happy. They are the ones that are going to go out of their way for you for all of the fun things to come. Just my personal opinion.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

Some super psotive responses tonight, ladies. Lol. Jk.

I guess I figured for a LONG dress that didn't need alterations and I don't want a bachelorette...it may just even out. Guess I was off.

Back to the drawing board.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

1 more thing - the dress is absolutely wearable again. I own the same exact dress and have worn it to 4 weddings.

Just saying...

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

$365 is alot to ask for. How about you wait to till they go on sale? Black Friday is around the corner. This is the budget in me, however if that is not an option for you I think you should pay $100 for the dress and even their hair or makeup just my honest opinion. It is never my intention to have my bridesmaids go broke on my day the fact that they said something clearly means they honestly don't have the funds. Just my take.

Need to vent! BM and $$$!

BTW post a pic. I'm sure we can find an alternative here to satisfy both parties :)

Re: Need to vent! BM and $$$!

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Posted by chrisandwill2015

1 more thing - the dress is absolutely wearable again. I own the same exact dress and have worn it to 4 weddings.

Just saying...

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I seem to be like you, once I set my mind on it, I want it lol
How many bridemaids do you have? I would pay for half of each dress, yes it is a lot, but if you love them I say get them.But I know they will most likely not pay that much for a dress.

Re: Need to vent! BM and $$$!

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Posted by chrisandwill2015

1 more thing - the dress is absolutely wearable again. I own the same exact dress and have worn it to 4 weddings.

Just saying...

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You still have to understand that they are not you, maybe the dress isn't their style and they may not wear it again. It's hard to get a lot of use out of a long evening gown, unless you attend a lot of events. $365 is $400 with tax, plus possibly alterations, plus hair, plus makeup, plus bridal shower, plus bachelorette, plus wedding gift... You're looking at almost $1000 to be a bridesmaid. That's a lot to ask of someone, I feel. Like the girl above said, if you still go with this dress, you're probably going to suffer from lack of anything else, including their interest in your day. So, keep that in mind.