Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts. Back
americanpolice Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:49 PM+
americanpolice MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 95 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:49 PM bride-minus.png

Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

What is the nicest way to ask for money instead of gifts on the invitation?
susans Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:50 PM+
susans MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jan 25, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:50 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

There's no nice way to do that.
It's the tackiest thing I ever heard.
Sorry, but that's my honest opinion.
americanpolice Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:54 PM+
americanpolice MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 95 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:54 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

Well, the reason I wrote this was b/c we are paying for the wedding ourselves and we could really use the cash to pay off the bills associated with it and someone told us they saw an invitation that stated very nicely that the couple prefers a monetary gift. So i was wondering if anyone else knows about this.
oneday Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:55 PM+
oneday MEMBER SINCE: 4/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1587 WEDDING DATE: Jun 13, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:55 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

I think really like susans said, there is no nice way to ask for money instead of gifts. Definatley not on the invitation. I totally can understand why someone might prefer cash - but, it really is tacky to specify what type of gifts you want from your guests. Maybe if you let some of your close family know that that is what you'd rather, they could spread it by word of mouth.
dgtlsunshine Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:55 PM+
dgtlsunshine MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 2838 WEDDING DATE: Jul 07, 2002
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:55 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

I don't think you really have to worry about that. You will get money anyway.

I have received a wedding invitation that stated

'monetary gifts preferred'


edited to say PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not budget to pay off your wedding expenses with your gifts. We received cash but it was not enough to cover wedding expenses. I have heard from most brides that it usually does not. It is best to pay off the wedding first and that way whatever you receive as gifts you can use on other things besides the wedding.
alina Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:56 PM+
alina MEMBER SINCE: 7/02 TOTAL POSTS : 4407 WEDDING DATE: Jul 05, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:56 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

I don't know if it will work, but you can try not registering, then guests won't know what to buy you and will be more likely to give you $$$
balilove Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:57 PM+
balilove MEMBER SINCE: 12/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1489 WEDDING DATE: Aug 30, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

No,no, don't ask for money on the invitation. People will get offended. If you want to get money and not gifts do it by word of mouth, through your family and bridal party. LOL
EvenEdan Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:57 PM+
EvenEdan MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3110 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

There is no way to do this, plain and simple. You can hope for cash, but you certainly can't ask for it.

PS Just curious: what's the deal with your username??
susans Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:57 PM+
susans MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jan 25, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:57 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

I've heard of that once.
I think my cousin's wife put something to the effect of 'gifts in kind' on the invite.
This was about 5 years ago and people (FAMILY) STILL talk about how inappropriate it is.

Weddings are expensive and I feel for you that you're paying for it all yourselves, but I think it's extremely rude to put anything like that on an invitation.

Much as we all love money, you should never suggest to guests that you expect a gift or go as far as stating that you prefer cash.

I can't imagine too many people disagreeing.
susans Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:58 PM+
susans MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1731 WEDDING DATE: Jan 25, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:58 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

You could always register at a place that lets you return gifts for cash.
(I'm reaching here...)
I'd register anyway, or chances are you'll end up with a pile of useless stuff LOL
07052002 Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:59 PM+
07052002 MEMBER SINCE: 5/02 TOTAL POSTS : 384 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2002
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

I think it is tacky..
Just wondering wow if you got all money you would be set.. aren't you having like 400 guests or something.
I remember your name on the vendor board.
ChristineC68 Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:59 PM+
ChristineC68 MEMBER SINCE: 5/01 TOTAL POSTS : 12170 WEDDING DATE: Sep 21, 2002
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

Most people in LI give cash gifts so I wouldn't worry about it.

There is no polite way to ask for cash. In fact, if I received and invite requesting a cash gift I would consider it admission vs. an invite and would consider not going.
americanpolice Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:59 PM+
americanpolice MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 95 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 04:59 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

about the username:
my fiance registered us on this site and he's a police officer. we hear it all the time.
americanpolice Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:03 PM+
americanpolice MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 95 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:03 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

we weighed the options about registering. we felt if we didn't register, then we'd get useless stuff. the same is true if we didnt register enough items.

cash gift- at least we know not to put it on the invitation and just spread it word of mouth to close friends and family.

and the whole 'prefer cash' thing is just something we heard from someone else so please don't jump down our throat for it. isnt that was this board is for- helping each other out?
dgtlsunshine Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:05 PM+
dgtlsunshine MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 2838 WEDDING DATE: Jul 07, 2002
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:05 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

You wrote ways for it to be on invitation so I didn't think you meant word of mouth. People say word of mouth but really when people asked us what we wanted I just could not voice 'cash'
americanpolice Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:09 PM+
americanpolice MEMBER SINCE: 1/03 TOTAL POSTS : 95 WEDDING DATE: Sep 27, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:09 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

well,

we're not going to put it on the invitation. so the issue is settled. if my family or real close friends ask, we'll say we prefer a monetary donation but it doesnt really matter to us.
EvenEdan Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:09 PM+
EvenEdan MEMBER SINCE: 11/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3110 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:09 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

We are helping, the ladies here are just stating their opinions and it is a topic we obviously feel strongly about.
dgtlsunshine Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:11 PM+
dgtlsunshine MEMBER SINCE: 12/01 TOTAL POSTS : 2838 WEDDING DATE: Jul 07, 2002
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:11 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

Really don't worry about it. You will receive cash anyway. We received one tangible gift at our wedding.
SeptemberBride03 Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:12 PM+
SeptemberBride03 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 3277 WEDDING DATE: Sep 20, 2003
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:12 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

My FI and I are paying for our wedding and would like nothing more than to receive cash gifts. However, you cannot put it on the invitation without being tacky and breaking all rules of etiquette. I am trying to spread the word through family (my parents and his parents.) One thing to consider - if people are going to buy gifts, they're going to buy gifts - so you should register for some things so that at least you get gifts you like! And, if you register at Bloomingdales, after the wedding you get 10% off your registry, so you can then decide if you want to take the money and buy the gifts you really want!
michele31 Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:12 PM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Jan 14, 2003 05:12 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Nice way to ask for money instead of gifts.

There is NO nice way to ask. It is one of the rudest things you can even try to do. You might as well just put a donation envelope in your invite and say 'Please complete and mail back prior to attending the event'
Truth be told the majority of New Yorkers give money as gifts so I doubt you will end up with tons of vases and frames anyway.
No one is jumping down your throat but you should never, ever listen to that friend again!
Register or else got lots of crap! People would rather buy you a dish you want, than pick our a pattern themselves so you end us with tons of bridal crap and frames and vases.
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