No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Ok, so just wondering if anyone else has a 'No Kids' policy for their wedding. Since FH's friends and family have more than 20 children, and at least 10 under the age of 3, we decided to have a no kids allowed policy, even for family. We love our cousins, etc. but dont want our dance floor turning into a playpen or having to worry about kids falling down or spilling stuff on people.

My mom's cousin, who I call my aunt called my mom yesterday FUMING at her that my 9 yr old and 12 yr old cousins ( her children) aren't invited. She said that her friends think its absolutely awful that her children can't come and that they are 'going to be crushed'! She won't even bring the little girl to my shower because it will get her too excited for a wedding she cant go too and she ever made the point that 15 years ago, 'she accomodated for kids at her wedding'. Well this is NOT HER WEDDING, it's mine and im pissed that she started world war 3 with my mother over something that was my decision. The fight of course got personal and now she might not even come to the wedding. I called her last night to explain and she didn't pick up and wont call me back.

Is anyone else going through this? I don't think it's rude to not invite kids when the reception starts at 8:30Pm and goes until 1am.


ps. This same cousin's mother is not invited to my wedding either b/c she doesnt get along with my grandparents but that is a totally seperate issue. Because of it though, she is taking the kids thing personally! ERRRRRR

pps. Forgot to add that Im not even having a ringbearer or flowergirl. No kids means no one under the age of 17 ( FH's sis is 17).

Its your decision not to have kids at the wedding.

Hopefully she comes around and lets you explain. I'm sorry you are going through this!

ETA: Did she just find this out by word of mouth? Did your Mom come out and mention it to her?

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Posted by MrsHtobe

Its your decision not to have kids at the wedding.

Hopefully she comes around and lets you explain. I'm sorry you are going through this!

ETA: Did she just find this out by word of mouth? Did your Mom come out and mention it to her?

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My mom mentioned it in a nice way, I think she said something about bring the little girl to the shower since there wont be kids at the wedding.

It is ultimately your decision if you want kids at your wedding. Everyone should respect your decision and accept it!

I'm not in the same position as you, but understand where you are coming from. I am having children at my wedding, but am limiting it to neices, nephews and 1st cousins. I know this will start some problems too, since I have a TON of second little cousins but everyone just has to DEAL WITH IT!

HTH!

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Posted by wundmoretime

You can let her know it is your wedding, your decision and your expense. Additionally, weddings 15 years ago were far cheaper (i know personally). I am only having nieces and nephews but I have a cousin that wants to bring her daughter too (she actually rsvp with 3). We had to call her to tell her she can't bring her for the same reason-I have endless number of 2nd 3rd and 4th cousins. Stand your ground otherwise you will end up with everyone bringing kids. I see nothing wrong with your decision. My daughter actually slid across the dance floor at FBIL's wedding from everyone drinking on the dance floor that they had to stop people from dancing and drinking on the floor.

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THANK YOU!!!!!!! That's exactly FH's point! It's not even safe!!!!!

And c'mon, how the hell is a 9 yr old going to be 'crushed'???!!

We decided not to invite kids to our wedding & so far only one guest complained (fh's gm and his girlfriend have a 10-month old). I talked to the gm's girlfriend and explained our reasoning that we could not afford it, there was a lack of space and also we we wanted the adults to be able to kick-back and enjoy themselves. She was ok with it.

Its your wedding and if she decides that she is going to miss it to prove a point, it will be her loss- dont sweat it

We're allowing certain kids at our wedding..meaning nieces, nephews and some close cousins. I think it's your wedding and you shouldn't be forced into letting kids come if you have a no kid's policy. You're paying it and it's a decision you and FH made together taking everything into account.

Don't stress over it. If she comes...she can come without her kids..if she doesn't she won't cause anyb misery.

Luckily we don't have many kids in our families so only my nephew/RB was there (and left b/c the music scared him haha).

But I don't know why ppl get all bent about of shape about it and take it like a personal attack on THEM and THEIR kids. Its NO kids across the board. Besides, if I had kids, I would want a night out w/o them.

Its not cool of her to have the little girl miss the shower...why spite the kid. She probably doesn't even care that she's not invited to the wedding.

Also...It's a wedding, not Days Inn where kids stay free lol . 20 extra kids adds up, but people just dont get it.

Stand your ground and she will just have to get over it. Good luck!!

Wow, you read my mind.

My cousin and his wife just RSVP'd for FIVE people. Yes, that includes their THREE kids. One of which is not even two years old......

I was sitting at my desk crying because my parents are too afraid to say anything to them because they are afraid it will 'cause a rift'

Keep me updated on how it goes! Stay strong.

People are really shameless!

We are having no kids at our wedding either. Honestly, I don't really think weddings are appropriate for children. People will be drinking, etc. Most of our guests are actually looking forward to a weekend without their kids.

Stand your ground, it's your wedding and your $$. If your Aunt can't explain to her children that weddings are for adults, then that's her problem, not yours. Seriously, what is up with some parents inability to tell their children no?!

it is your wedding day you are the one that makes that call - i chose not to have children and our wedding for similar reasons the only children that were allowed were our nephews- luckily there aren't many children in both families (they are all grown up now) and the parents who had kids thanked us because they wanted a night out without them- i think your 'aunt' is blowing this situation out of proportion and really should cut you some slack - that was nice of you to call her now it is up to her to understand

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Posted by MrsHtobe

Its your decision not to have kids at the wedding.

Hopefully she comes around and lets you explain. I'm sorry you are going through this!

ETA: Did she just find this out by word of mouth? Did your Mom come out and mention it to her?

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Yeah we are planning to have no kids. i just got an rsvp for 3 people....2 adults and their child =X Now what do I do?

I have a NO KIDS policy as well...no one under the age of 17 except my youngest brother who will be 10. But he is MY BROTHER. And I know that already caused drama at my engagement party. My dad's brother and his wife didn't come because I only invited their oldest daughter (my first cousin) because my other 2 cousins in that family are younger like 14 and 12. I don't want that young of people there sorry. MY WEDDING. Fh's side thankfully doesn't have that issue. My side I have 20 first cousins. And about 1/2 of them are under 17. Unfortunately it may sound mean that the 1/2 that is old enough is invited and the other 1/2 isnt. but my feelings is a wedding is no place for younger children.

And I know I am going to have to deal with this again for the wedding. It happened at the e-party so I preparing myself for the wedding when the invites go out.

Stand your ground and tell her you are sorry but no kids. And it doesn't matter whose they are. My first cousins girlfriend is pregnant and she they are not invited with their child. Their child will only be 2 months old since he/she is due in Oct. And my wedding is in Dec. But who wants to bring around their 2 month old throughout the night until 1am!!!

OH yeah we had alot of problems bc of this too...like you there would've been just too many kids. We were looking at a possibility of 40 kids or more, and that just turns into a zoo sorry. Not only that but our reception was also from 8:30-1:30am so i dont even see why you would bring your kids and keep them up that late...most kids get tired early so what are you going to do, force them to stay up and drag the poor kids, its not right.

But yes it caused problem, some people were upset and had things to say. Another thing they dont realize is they say whats the big deal but our kids meals werent free, it was actually ALOT for chicken fingers and fries, and i even calculated how much it would cost to have kids and it was a couple thousand extra. but the main point is Dh didnt want kids there, he explained why and i agreed with him, although i know it was me who probably took all the blame and looks like i dont like kids. His family didnt understand bc they said kids are always invited to family functions...well thats why dh didnt want kids lol, he has been to the family functions and has seen first hand what its like. 30-40 kids running around, parents dont watch them, infact his dad always ends up being the one watching them and this is something he was very concerned about...he didnt want his dad to take care of kids at the wedding and occupy himself with that, he wanted him to just enjoy himself and focus on his sons wedding. Its funny bc some who complained the most are ones with the most misbehaved kids.

It also didnt help that we went to other events in the beginning of our engagement, non family ones and there were kids and they were all over the place...during speeches they were crying and screaming the whole time right by where the person was giving a speech. None of us heard a word of what was said. After these events Dh did win his case about no kids at the wedding.

Stick to your guns and dont back down. Like you said its your wedding, so do what pleases you. It can be hard and hurtful at times. Also good that youre not making exceptions...we did only have our RB and FG and i was concerned even with that to tell you the truth...i was like oh great were having 2 kids at the wedding and ppl will get upset that we have them there but not their kids...but since it was JUST bp i said ok hopefully they understand...BUT let me say those kids did not stay long, this is why i dont understand why ppl want to bring kids. They were there just in the beginning, the RB fell asleep early on and they took him home, same with FG she also was real tired from early on and they had to leave early to take her home. If you say no kids then keep it no kids, bc if others see other kids there they will get mad saying uhmmm ok so their kids are ok but mine arent and will take it personally

weddings arent really appropriate for kids, especially if its in the evening

we have a no kids policy as well....for the same reason...we would have about 25 kids from babies to under 14 if they all came. we havent sent out the invites yet so i dont know what im going to have to deal with.

im sure its hard for the parents on the receiving but they should respect your decision. its only a day/few hours...hopefully u can work this all out. its just annoying to deal with. if they think its important to share your special day...they will come. if not...its okay cuz ull have plenty of other people there to celebrate with and itll be a great day.