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No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Original post by JessesGirl

Ok, so just wondering if anyone else has a 'No Kids' policy for their wedding. Since FH's friends and family have more than 20 children, and at least 10 under the age of 3, we decided to have a no kids allowed policy, even for family. We love our cousins, etc. but dont want our dance floor turning into a playpen or having to worry about kids falling down or spilling stuff on people.

My mom's cousin, who I call my aunt called my mom yesterday FUMING at her that my 9 yr old and 12 yr old cousins ( her children) aren't invited. She said that her friends think its absolutely awful that her children can't come and that they are 'going to be crushed'! She won't even bring the little girl to my shower because it will get her too excited for a wedding she cant go too and she ever made the point that 15 years ago, 'she accomodated for kids at her wedding'. Well this is NOT HER WEDDING, it's mine and im pissed that she started world war 3 with my mother over something that was my decision. The fight of course got personal and now she might not even come to the wedding. I called her last night to explain and she didn't pick up and wont call me back.

Is anyone else going through this? I don't think it's rude to not invite kids when the reception starts at 8:30Pm and goes until 1am.


ps. This same cousin's mother is not invited to my wedding either b/c she doesnt get along with my grandparents but that is a totally seperate issue. Because of it though, she is taking the kids thing personally! ERRRRRR

pps. Forgot to add that Im not even having a ringbearer or flowergirl. No kids means no one under the age of 17 ( FH's sis is 17).
wundmoretime Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by Mimacat

KIDS RUIN EVERYTHING.


.
alissa5517 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

If you want to have a 17 and over wedding that is your right. We are having no kids except my Ring Bearer. I just sent out invites so I will see if I have drama.

If she wants to make it that big of a deal that is her problem. You did the right thing by calling her to explain yourself. She is the one that is being unreasonable. Stand your ground. Your day will be amazing with or without her (sorry if that is harsh).
Risgirl Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by Lauren92108

That's so funny!!! I am going through the same exact issue today. My cousin called me (FOR THE SECOND TIME) to once again ask me if she can bring her FOUR kids. She has 2 sets of twin boys - the oldest and 7 and the youngest are 3!

I told her once again NO....no kids. She was like -is it a money issue (FH & I are paying for the wedding ourselves) because they can share off of her plate.

I TOLD HER NO AGAIN...I don't want kids there and if I invite hers then I have to invite all of my other cousin's children.

She seems really upset with me - now I am not even sure if she is going to come to the wedding at all which is really upsetting because she is one of my closest cousins.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What I find especially funny about this one - the 'is it a money issue...they can share off my plate' comment. Don't people understand that is NOT the way it works - kids=headcount - so you pay for them regardless of if they eat off mom's plate or eat nothing at all.

That's not even the point though, it's your wedding and if you choose not to invite children, then they can choose whether or not to attend (without the kids) - that's it, there are no other options...either leave your kids at home or DON'T COME!!

My sister has 5 kids and they are ALL in the bridal party and none of them are staying after the cocktail hour and you know what? My sister completely understands and wants it that way. She knows that my parents and she and her husband won't get a moment to enjoy if the kids come, and their not terrors...just kids (who don't belong at an adult party). It's that simple!!
Jamnike Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

your not alone dont worry. we had that battle at the begining too. I was like look, we can only afford what we can afford, so deal! if you dont like it dont come. Its your day and thats that.

once that battle is over then you will have the one we are having now that my godfather RSVPed over 2 months ago and now, 10 days before the wedding is mad that he cant bring his granddaughter....... so i told him fine, dont come

it gets better
PreshusSmurf Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

we had children at our wedding ... not many, but a few. they were cute.

we had a 'no babies' policy though ... which you would think is common sense not to bring a baby when the wedding didn't start until 8pm and didn't end until 1:30 a.m.

and we had issues because someone wanted to bring their 1 YEAR OLD
Sweeteey51 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.

jeffamanda080808 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I'm sorry...I'm not one to cause any drama but I felt that your post was a bit bold and felt that a bold response was needed.

Just because a couple chooses to have no kids invited does not by any means portray them as hating kids. Also...if you do not have a ring bearer or flower girl, that does not mean that you hate kids. So a question like that or a general comment like that is unnecessary.

Personally...and yes I am speaking only for myself...we felt that an occasion that was being held in the evening and ending at midnight was not an appropriate event or venue for a child under the age of 21. Also...we do not have children but many of our friends do, and to be honest they were estatic when our invites said 'Adult Reception to Follow', they certainly didn't mind finding a relative or babysitter...simply because it meant an adult night out. And most of our friends and family agreed that a wedding ending at midnight was not a place for a child...especially with people drinking and loud music.
MushesGirl Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by Mimacat

KIDS RUIN EVERYTHING.


omg so well said
MyLobster Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

I have a no kid policy and have heard a few comments in passing but no drama YET. I don't really care. Even if kids are 1/2 price, if you have a lot of kids in the fam it REALLY adds up. If I had the $$ I'd have no problem with it but it's just not feasible

MyLobster Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I disagree. At my wedding, for instance, we are having a band and there will be no blow up guitars or hats for them to play with. They would be B-O-R-E-D! Also,i'd like to think that my wedding will be one where the adults can enjoy a nice night out with no worries of the kids creating havoc. Finally, I cannot afford to invite all of the children in our families. It's nothing personal against anyone, it's just not financially possible.
dannisayz Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I'm glad you can afford to have a babysitter for your friends/family's kids. However, not all of us are that fortunate.

I think your comment was quite crass. Yet, I smell a fake.
bluegreen08 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by dannisayz

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I'm glad you can afford to have a babysitter for your friends/family's kids. However, not all of us are that fortunate.

I think your comment was quite crass. Yet, I smell a fake.


I love my cats very much and I dont insist on bringing them to weddings and clubs and places they dont really belong. I think it's perfectly normal to have an event like a wedding be adults only.
dannisayz Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by bluegreen08

Posted by dannisayz

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I'm glad you can afford to have a babysitter for your friends/family's kids. However, not all of us are that fortunate.

I think your comment was quite crass. Yet, I smell a fake.


I love my cats very much and I dont insist on bringing them to weddings and clubs and places they dont really belong. I think it's perfectly normal to have an event like a wedding be adults only.


I, on the othe rhand , refuse to leave home without my cats. I get insulted if they are not invited everywhere.
bluegreen08 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by dannisayz

Posted by bluegreen08

Posted by dannisayz

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I'm glad you can afford to have a babysitter for your friends/family's kids. However, not all of us are that fortunate.

I think your comment was quite crass. Yet, I smell a fake.


I love my cats very much and I dont insist on bringing them to weddings and clubs and places they dont really belong. I think it's perfectly normal to have an event like a wedding be adults only.


I, on the othe rhand , refuse to leave home without my cats. I get insulted if they are not invited everywhere.


hahah to be honest, if it was socially acceptable and i wasnt worried about them running away, i'd totally bring them along. we're going to a wedding a week from today. i think i'll bring them and surprise the bride lol:
kabo0831 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

im having the same problem

mRm2008 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

YES!! I just got a call at WORK two days after invites went out, a friend who wanted to know why her two kids weren't invited. I told her that we cut off at 16. She pretty well told me they most likely will not attend b/c she isn't comfortable leaving them w/ a sitter. They are 10 and 13 W T F
dannisayz Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by bluegreen08

Posted by dannisayz

Posted by bluegreen08

Posted by dannisayz

Posted by Sweeteey51

Y not a ring bearer or flower girl do you hate kids? F.Y.I- there are wedding planners that offer babysitting services for i think like $150 if you sit all kids at there own table they will watch them, thats what im doing. But people do and will get offended if you say no kids & they have kids b/c then they have to find babysitters etc! Im sure if you had & kid & u were invited to a big function that said no kids & ur daughter/son thought they were going u would get upset too, oh well it is your day.


I'm glad you can afford to have a babysitter for your friends/family's kids. However, not all of us are that fortunate.

I think your comment was quite crass. Yet, I smell a fake.


I love my cats very much and I dont insist on bringing them to weddings and clubs and places they dont really belong. I think it's perfectly normal to have an event like a wedding be adults only.


I, on the othe rhand , refuse to leave home without my cats. I get insulted if they are not invited everywhere.


hahah to be honest, if it was socially acceptable and i wasnt worried about them running away, i'd totally bring them along. we're going to a wedding a week from today. i think i'll bring them and surprise the bride lol:


I'm the same way. On my wedding day I played around with my mom saying that the cats should walk me down the aisle.
CD516 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

I had No kids at all at my wedding. NO flowergirls, ring bearers, etc. And its not because i hate children. I love kids, i just dont think its appropriate for them to be at a night time reception. Any wedding i have been to that had alot of kids at night- the kids were running around the dance floor tripping people, throwing food, then sleeping on the chairs and floor by 9pm. This is your wedding and you make the rules as to how you want things to be. If you have a certain vision then go with it. Dont worry about how others react- its not their day.

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

we did have kids
we have 10 nieces and nephews combined and wanted them there since it was a family event and they are part of the family
We had a night time affair and there were no tripping, spilling, etc. because their parents brought things for them to do
I.e. My sister had the boys bring their leapster video games - they sat quietly at the dinner table and played with their cousins -
so the inappropriate behavior was NOT an issue
yes it was a night time affair, and it is a 'Special Occasion' that happens ever so often

however, it is your decision

BUT, I do agree with the mother
If my child was not invited to the wedding, i would NOT bring her to the shower

Kids ask questions and she will know it is a BRIDAL shower, meaning you are the bride and she wont get to see you as the bride so in that respect i do not think she is wrong
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: No Kids Invited = DRAMA

Posted by klanghan

weddings are for adults!!!! I was never invited to a wedding as a child, my first wedding was my sisters where i was MOH.
My FH and I decided that for our wedding unless they were one of our nieces or nephews, they weren't invited!
I just don't understand , don't people want a night out w/o the kids anyways????


you see
i think the answers to many of these questions depend on YOUR family and the traditions in your family

my sister and i DID go to weddings as kids; if they were family, because , it is a 'family event'
therefore, we had kids at both of our weddings
but if it is something your family traditionally does not do, then you obviously dont do it either

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