Re: not sending invitations to those who got stds......

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsPy

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Posted by Diorprincess

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsPy

I understand what is polite and what isn't and believe me I struggled for months with my decision. It ultimately came down to that these people were probably wondering why they even received an STD because we don't know each other. We may have met one time. In the end, I am always polite and well mannered but this is my wedding day and I don't need to be funding people who I don't know at all especially when they were only invited for my father who is not even coming...

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my bff just told me how her wedding a few weeks ago she left people on list that got stds even though she didn't wanna invite them anymore. just because she didn't want to be rude or mean to people she might see again so she invited them. well they came obviously just for the free food/open bar. gave her $50 in a card and left before she even cut the cake! that was only 1 couple btw. 6 of the others backed out last minute! and some other random people she barely knew left even before dinner was served (they ordered their food too) so they just wasted food too. oh and 4 others backed out too day of wedding! (2 people with 1 guest each)

meanwhile she cut her mom's former coworkers who prob would have came and given her money... not that a wedding is only about money but she literally spent tons of it for empty seats. and had to literally rearrange a whole table the night before her wedding.

I guess it just shows when people barely know you they don't really care if they do stuff like that. she was like I wish I was rude and didn't invite them because in return look how rude they were to her. not that every couple you don't know will do that lol.

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Exactly my point and I refuse to do it. Rude or not rude, who cares I am 27 years old and have seen these people 1 time, didn't even know their names, I am not worried about what they think of me or my choices.

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a few people I messaged just to be like oh so you think your coming just trying to get an idea of who is coming and all 5 I messaged didn't even know the date lol and they were all like oh we lost the magnet.... then all 5 were like oh can't go. so I'm not even gonna send an invitation. why waste the stamp when they def can't go? so just cut 5 by a fb message lol.

some people it might be rude but some people might truly not even notice. 1 of the 5 thought our wedding happened already lol and rest didn't even seem interested. the 1 who thought it happened already they saw me & FH at my bffs wedding... I was like um did you not notice I wasn't wearing a wedding dress? lol.

not sending invitations to those who got stds...... - Long Island Weddings

Hahahah! Such dopes.

not sending invitations to those who got stds...... - Long Island Weddings

When my sister was getting married, she sent a STD to my best friends. Well, invitation time came and I no longer spoke to these friends. I think it would be have been beyond awkward to send them invitations. That said, I think the older crowd, like your parents relatives, will the be ones with standards and easily offended. Your FH old coworkers however might be relieved that they don't have to give a gift anymore. Weddinga are expensive to attend, and they seem extra expensive when you are not close to the couple. Think of it as doing them a favor :)

Re: not sending invitations to those who got stds......

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Posted by Kroedel87

I have to say, I really don't think you can not invite them. Once the STDs go out, you're locked in.

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i agree with this.

Re: not sending invitations to those who got stds......

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Posted by cconaty94

When my sister was getting married, she sent a STD to my best friends. Well, invitation time came and I no longer spoke to these friends. I think it would be have been beyond awkward to send them invitations. That said, I think the older crowd, like your parents relatives, will the be ones with standards and easily offended. Your FH old coworkers however might be relieved that they don't have to give a gift anymore. Weddinga are expensive to attend, and they seem extra expensive when you are not close to the couple. Think of it as doing them a favor :)

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yeah we're basically sending all my parents friends invites etc well except like 2 but that's all on my mom I don't even know them lol though maybe towards the end we'd try to add them to list but I doubt they will come anyway. I also cut out fh's coworkers (who btw he hasn't talked to in like 6 months) and a few of my not really close friends who I don't even think will notice or care. I mean 2 of the people I asked if they even lived at same address & I saw they read it but totally ignored me and it's a month later now. and before that haven't talked to them in a year. I mean if they think I'm rude whatever, I think it's rude to totally ignore me lol. plus it doesn't seem like they even want to come and are prob hoping I forget about them.

my other friend he's constantly late or not showing up for things. if he even asks I'm gonna be like dude my bday party you showed up at 10 pm for like 20 minutes when the party started at 3! he rsvp'd he was coming and my dad catered it along with my FMIL. I'm not gonna chance him not even showing up to the wedding when someone else could have been there. though I might try talking to him first but he's known for not showing/being insanely late like I could see him showing up at 10-11 pm or not showing at all & going oh sorry work. his ex gf even dumped him because he constantly bailed on her like that! like she'd call me yelling at a restaurant how she had sat there for 2 hours waiting on him lol.

I don't even feel like I'm being rude to the people we're not inviting because I doubt they even really wanna be there. I feel like a lot of people I invited out of excitement when we weren't that close & they don't seem to care lol. I doubt they have the magnet sitting on their fridge just waiting for an invite.

and we have my dad's coworkers and fmil friends who would be honored to be invited..... like they never got stds and should be added to our list. instead of people who prob won't even rsvp and it's basically a waste of a stamp lol. I think stds should have new etiquette like if you haven't talked in a year they prob don't even have the magnet anymore.

Re: not sending invitations to those who got stds......

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Posted by Diorprincess

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Posted by cconaty94

When my sister was getting married, she sent a STD to my best friends. Well, invitation time came and I no longer spoke to these friends. I think it would be have been beyond awkward to send them invitations. That said, I think the older crowd, like your parents relatives, will the be ones with standards and easily offended. Your FH old coworkers however might be relieved that they don't have to give a gift anymore. Weddinga are expensive to attend, and they seem extra expensive when you are not close to the couple. Think of it as doing them a favor :)

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yeah we're basically sending all my parents friends invites etc well except like 2 but that's all on my mom I don't even know them lol though maybe towards the end we'd try to add them to list but I doubt they will come anyway. I also cut out fh's coworkers (who btw he hasn't talked to in like 6 months) and a few of my not really close friends who I don't even think will notice or care. I mean 2 of the people I asked if they even lived at same address & I saw they read it but totally ignored me and it's a month later now. and before that haven't talked to them in a year. I mean if they think I'm rude whatever, I think it's rude to totally ignore me lol. plus it doesn't seem like they even want to come and are prob hoping I forget about them.

my other friend he's constantly late or not showing up for things. if he even asks I'm gonna be like dude my bday party you showed up at 10 pm for like 20 minutes when the party started at 3! he rsvp'd he was coming and my dad catered it along with my FMIL. I'm not gonna chance him not even showing up to the wedding when someone else could have been there. though I might try talking to him first but he's known for not showing/being insanely late like I could see him showing up at 10-11 pm or not showing at all & going oh sorry work. his ex gf even dumped him because he constantly bailed on her like that! like she'd call me yelling at a restaurant how she had sat there for 2 hours waiting on him lol.

I don't even feel like I'm being rude to the people we're not inviting because I doubt they even really wanna be there. I feel like a lot of people I invited out of excitement when we weren't that close & they don't seem to care lol. I doubt they have the magnet sitting on their fridge just waiting for an invite.

and we have my dad's coworkers and fmil friends who would be honored to be invited..... like they never got stds and should be added to our list. instead of people who prob won't even rsvp and it's basically a waste of a stamp lol. I think stds should have new etiquette like if you haven't talked in a year they prob don't even have the magnet anymore.

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3 other people we took off list couldn't even be bothered to rsvp about my shower. and my mom had facebooked them personally & they read it but ignored her. I mean it's not that hard to say oh no I can't make it. those are same people I imagine wouldn't even rsvp and it'd be waste of stamps and invite to them..... and another person she obviously has addiction problems.... not even gonna really go into it but literally her fb status she has been asking for um stuff lol..... which my mom saw and was like let's not have addicts at the wedding... and of course if she says anything in the end my parents are paying for the wedding and maybe she shouldn't post things like she does & everyone can see... I mean a few close friends said the same thing who saw her status's. I also don't need any drama at my wedding or any overdoses or whatever. so stds should definitely have a new etiquette ruling lol.

not sending invitations to those who got stds...... - Long Island Weddings

I think weddings should be a time for family, friends and wellwishers- not mere acquaintances. Although it is churlish to not invite people after sending them STD, nevertheless, this is a not so pleasant decision that you will have to make.

Re: not sending invitations to those who got stds......

I know it's not 'proper' bridal etiquette but I just feel like if you can live with some people thinking you are rude for sending STDs and not inviting them then just don't invite them. You don't wanna invite them and then feel bitter about it. People may think its rude (and hey, it is!) but they also must have a basic understanding of the expense of a wedding and the fact that guests lists sometimes need to be cut. Your best bet is to be honest if anyone were to say anything.. you could always have your parents apologize and say that due to budget constraints you had to cut the list and you apologize for the confusion and hope they understand. (I said your parents because I don't think these are people you talk to?) I'd probably respond differently if it was a friend you 'aren't as close to anymore' etc and tell you to just invite them. Good luck with whatever you decide!