NWR: stay at home Mom

I am currently a SAHM to my gorgeous 1 year old little girl...
It is the HARDEST yet most rewarding job in the entire world....I go a little crazy sometimes but its all worth it...
My FH works so hard so that I am able to stay home.. Ive told him I would go back to work part time but we've decided it wouldnt be worth it since I would then have to pay someone else my money to watch her...
He knows that my JOB is very hard and doesnt want me to work outside home right now... He wants me to stay home with her, and I cant complain... Theres nothing like being able to watch your child grow up right in front of you, and seeing all their firsts!

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Posted by Mizzdimple

Definatley staying at home, something we agreed with, until they get into school...then after i want to have the freedom to get into what I really want to do with my career., but you never know what can happen.
Knock on wood

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FH and I have the same thoughts

Ok I still don't get this...right now I am jealous of my FH that he gets to work from home. I do not resent him for getting to do his job in his underware if he wants. Nor does he resent that I get to leave the house be at work with other people -- its our jobs. We didn't make the rules of them we just play by them.

So what is the difference if you are staying at home and raising children and building a home? I understand the he wouldn't want to miss out on anything either neither would my FH but life is real. Neither of you can be there for EVERY SINGLE thing. Its not like you would be home eating bon bons and watching General Hospital all day.

So you are afraid he would resent you for being home or resent that you get to be with the kids all day?

ETA: Our plan as of now is to have my FH work from a remote office a few days a week after we have kids because neither of us could see us being home together all day everyday. It just wouldn't work.

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Posted by anneandchris

Ok I still don't get this...right now I am jealous of my FH that he gets to work from home. I do not resent him for getting to do his job in his underware if he wants. Nor does he resent that I get to leave the house be at work with other people -- its our jobs. We didn't make the rules of them we just play by them.

So what is the difference if you are staying at home and raising children and building a home? I understand the he wouldn't want to miss out on anything either neither would my FH but life is real. Neither of you can be there for EVERY SINGLE thing. Its not like you would be home eating bon bons and watching General Hospital all day.

So you are afraid he would resent you for being home or resent that you get to be with the kids all day?

ETA: Our plan as of now is to have my FH work from a remote office a few days a week after we have kids because neither of us could see us being home together all day everyday. It just wouldn't work.

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Both - I worry that he will be jealous that I am the one bonding with the kids and getting to be with them all the time..... envious of me b/c he has to get up, leave the house and us to go and sit in traffic and bust his *** at work every day ( i know i would be really jealous if i had to work and he was home!!) and I also worry that we won't have much to talk about - as far as adult things go....because I am going to have mush brain from being at home with the kids - like now I do things so we both can talk about our bad day at work - or whatever - I feel like I won't be able to relate to him and the stresses he'll have at work.....I'm sure it will be fine but I worry that he might be lying when he says it doesnt bother him at all that I will be staying home.......

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by anneandchris

Ok I still don't get this...right now I am jealous of my FH that he gets to work from home. I do not resent him for getting to do his job in his underware if he wants. Nor does he resent that I get to leave the house be at work with other people -- its our jobs. We didn't make the rules of them we just play by them.

So what is the difference if you are staying at home and raising children and building a home? I understand the he wouldn't want to miss out on anything either neither would my FH but life is real. Neither of you can be there for EVERY SINGLE thing. Its not like you would be home eating bon bons and watching General Hospital all day.

So you are afraid he would resent you for being home or resent that you get to be with the kids all day?

ETA: Our plan as of now is to have my FH work from a remote office a few days a week after we have kids because neither of us could see us being home together all day everyday. It just wouldn't work.

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Both - I worry that he will be jealous that I am the one bonding with the kids and getting to be with them all the time..... envious of me b/c he has to get up, leave the house and us to go and sit in traffic and bust his *** at work every day ( i know i would be really jealous if i had to work and he was home!!) and I also worry that we won't have much to talk about - as far as adult things go....because I am going to have mush brain from being at home with the kids - like now I do things so we both can talk about our bad day at work - or whatever - I feel like I won't be able to relate to him and the stresses he'll have at work.....I'm sure it will be fine but I worry that he might be lying when he says it doesnt bother him at all that I will be staying home.......

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i just wanted to add the fact that you are both even thinking about these things shows that you will be just fine
some people go into these things blind and have a hard time adjusting
but since you obviously are BOTH being considerate of each other's feelings, even BEFORE the time comes . . . it shows what kind of relationship you have and i think that you two will be fine with whatever you choose

just remember
Man plans and God laughs - dont get your heart set on any one thing bc sometimes . . . it just doesnt work out that way!

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by anneandchris

Ok I still don't get this...right now I am jealous of my FH that he gets to work from home. I do not resent him for getting to do his job in his underware if he wants. Nor does he resent that I get to leave the house be at work with other people -- its our jobs. We didn't make the rules of them we just play by them.

So what is the difference if you are staying at home and raising children and building a home? I understand the he wouldn't want to miss out on anything either neither would my FH but life is real. Neither of you can be there for EVERY SINGLE thing. Its not like you would be home eating bon bons and watching General Hospital all day.

So you are afraid he would resent you for being home or resent that you get to be with the kids all day?

ETA: Our plan as of now is to have my FH work from a remote office a few days a week after we have kids because neither of us could see us being home together all day everyday. It just wouldn't work.

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Both - I worry that he will be jealous that I am the one bonding with the kids and getting to be with them all the time..... envious of me b/c he has to get up, leave the house and us to go and sit in traffic and bust his *** at work every day ( i know i would be really jealous if i had to work and he was home!!) and I also worry that we won't have much to talk about - as far as adult things go....because I am going to have mush brain from being at home with the kids - like now I do things so we both can talk about our bad day at work - or whatever - I feel like I won't be able to relate to him and the stresses he'll have at work.....I'm sure it will be fine but I worry that he might be lying when he says it doesnt bother him at all that I will be staying home.......

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i just wanted to add the fact that you are both even thinking about these things shows that you will be just fine
some people go into these things blind and have a hard time adjusting
but since you obviously are BOTH being considerate of each other's feelings, even BEFORE the time comes . . . it shows what kind of relationship you have and i think that you two will be fine with whatever you choose

just remember
Man plans and God laughs - dont get your heart set on any one thing bc sometimes . . . it just doesnt work out that way!

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Yeah its funny - we talk about these things and what we see in our future together- except we dont plan on having kids for a really long time! LOL I told FH I want to be borderline rich before we have kids hahahahaha yeah right!!! I WISH!

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Posted by beachbum05

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Posted by MikeandJess

I really wanted to. I've been saying it forever but I graduate in may and now i really want to do what I'm getting my degree in. Maybe years down the line I will be a SAHM but I worked too hard for my degree to do it any time soon

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Same here. Phewf. I thought I was the only one.

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youre def. not alone, .........I cant see NOT using a college degree i worked my *** off to get......i went to work when my baby was 7 months, but only PT and FH watched her while i went to work, so i didnt mind going at all.

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Future Mulligan

FMIL watches FSIL's baby while she and her husband are at work.....in the beginning FSIL used to cry everyday when she had to leave her 2 month old baby to go back to work.....it was really sad.....I don't know how FSIL does it......I think I would be jealous if my Mom got to spend more time with my baby than me......I feel like, why have a baby if someone else has to take care of it ??

But at the same time, I am nervous to stay home....I don't want FH to feel jealous that I get to stay home with our children when they are babies...and I don't know how I would feel asking FH for money or him giving me an allowance I would HATE that!!

I don't know there are so many variables! Its crazy!

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It's not jsut him being jealous of you staying home. I think at some point you might be jealous of him going out and getting to interact with adults all day. I know that sounds crazy, and that most people would love to stay home everyday, but I think after a while it would drive me banana's listening to Dora and barney all day with no adult interaction, KWIM?

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yesssss! i actually like going to work in the morning and getting some type of adult interaction, dont get me wrong i love staying home with my daughter too but trust me (especially in the beginning) you feel like you have no adult interaction..

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by anneandchris

Ok I still don't get this...right now I am jealous of my FH that he gets to work from home. I do not resent him for getting to do his job in his underware if he wants. Nor does he resent that I get to leave the house be at work with other people -- its our jobs. We didn't make the rules of them we just play by them.

So what is the difference if you are staying at home and raising children and building a home? I understand the he wouldn't want to miss out on anything either neither would my FH but life is real. Neither of you can be there for EVERY SINGLE thing. Its not like you would be home eating bon bons and watching General Hospital all day.

So you are afraid he would resent you for being home or resent that you get to be with the kids all day?

ETA: Our plan as of now is to have my FH work from a remote office a few days a week after we have kids because neither of us could see us being home together all day everyday. It just wouldn't work.

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Both - I worry that he will be jealous that I am the one bonding with the kids and getting to be with them all the time..... envious of me b/c he has to get up, leave the house and us to go and sit in traffic and bust his *** at work every day ( i know i would be really jealous if i had to work and he was home!!) and I also worry that we won't have much to talk about - as far as adult things go....because I am going to have mush brain from being at home with the kids - like now I do things so we both can talk about our bad day at work - or whatever - I feel like I won't be able to relate to him and the stresses he'll have at work.....I'm sure it will be fine but I worry that he might be lying when he says it doesnt bother him at all that I will be staying home.......

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i just wanted to add the fact that you are both even thinking about these things shows that you will be just fine
some people go into these things blind and have a hard time adjusting
but since you obviously are BOTH being considerate of each other's feelings, even BEFORE the time comes . . . it shows what kind of relationship you have and i think that you two will be fine with whatever you choose

just remember
Man plans and God laughs - dont get your heart set on any one thing bc sometimes . . . it just doesnt work out that way!

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That is soo true. One of my older sisters is a SAHM and i remember when I was in H.S. and she would drop my niece off at my mothers it would but gut wrenching for her to walk out the door. I'd like to be a SAHM but realistically with the cost of everything today it's kind of up in the air. FH's would probably work hours that are a little more concrete then the hours I'd most likely have in the hospital. We've talk about it once in a while, just gotta wait.

I plan on staying at home until my kid goes to school. we both agreed to this.. I grew up with my father. never really had a mother figure... and my father was always on business trips so I mostly grew up with babysitters.... so I dont feel a strong connection between my parents... I know they love me and all but .. my connection with my mom is no longer there and I regret not having a strong connection with my father(I love him and eveything he did for me) he tried so hard to give us a good life..... I miss my dad...

I did grow up fine but I think both parents are extremely important in their lives especially when their young.. I believe their past reflects their personalities when their older..

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Posted by blurgirlny

My dream would be to be a stay at home WIFE - ha ha since we don't really want kids. I know that sounds awful. I'll be working until I'm 80 though.

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I feel that way too!!!!!