oh no...UPDATE

SFBride2Be Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:32 PM

oh no...UPDATE

UPDATE:

so my FH and I spoke about everything last night and we are 100% going to keep the RH at the Bourne. I really love it and he thinks that we can make the whole event really unique there and just totally go all out! So i'm excited about that. I think we are going to a bit more research on hotels/churches/RD places but I'm a still definitely going to be a Bourne bride - im thrilled!!!!!! i really am so excited

phewwwwwwww so relieved
-------------------------------------------------------------

So - my FH and the family went to visit the RH (Bourne) this past weekend and I think we may end up having to find a new place!!!!

while they loved it - they think that we have no connection to it and that we should find someplace on the beach or on water somewhere in upstate NY or NJ.

We have already put the site deposit down - which i guess in the end we can deal with - but im just nervous that we wont find a place...

anyone have any suggestions?

Espo22 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:33 PM

Re: oh no...

honestly if you love the place why does it matter what they think...i mean who are they to say the type of location you SHOULD have, its your wedding not theirs

SB7308 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:35 PM

Re: oh no...

You dont have to have a 'connection' to your RH. If you and FH love it, then thats where you should have it. Noone elses input should alter your decision.

bigrd37 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:36 PM

Re: oh no...

why do you have no connection to it?

My FMIL wants to come see my RH, which I have no problem doing, but it doesn't really matter now b/c it's booked and nothing she could say would change our minds now. Unless your in-laws have a valid reason, you shouldn't have to find a new place.

futuremrsfab Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:36 PM

Re: oh no...

wow really? the Bourne Mansion is beautiful and puts on an amaziing wedding- one of my best friends had her wedding there. there are pics in my album.

if you love it- i would talk to them. maybe you can do the ceremony on the beach and then have the reception there?

snwb08 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:37 PM

Re: oh no...

my cousin got married at Bourne - it was a great wedding. why did you decide on it to begin with? I would keep it the way you have it unless they are REALLY against it

AMGBride2008 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:37 PM

Re: oh no...

Do you love the place? If you do than don't worry about your FMIL's opinions... Sounds to me like she's the one who doesn't have any sentemental attachment to the place.. that's not your problem

kristi313 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:38 PM

Re: oh no...

if you both love it, then stick with it. it could be that they don't like it. and unfortunately they are going to make you doubt yourselves and your decision. the bourne mansion is beautiful. you and your FH need to sit down and discuss it together. remember it's your wedding and ultimately your decision!

Bella77 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:40 PM

Re: oh no...

Posted by kristi313

if you both love it, then stick with it. it could be that they don't like it. and unfortunately they are going to make you doubt yourselves and your decision. the bourne mansion is beautiful. you and your FH need to sit down and discuss it together. remember it's your wedding and ultimately your decision!

I concur

SFBride2Be Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:45 PM

Re: oh no...

thanks guys!

i agree - but my FH was in Tokyo for work for a couple of months and I saw it and put the deposit down - so this was HIS first time seeing it - and he also felt this way.

even though he says he loves it he just think swe could find a place that we have more connection to in terms of location ( we are from NJ/upstateNY).

I dont knowwwwwwwwwwww

minibride08 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:46 PM

Re: oh no...

I would go with whatever your gut feeling is for the place with FH. When FH & I walked out of our RH (The Metropolitan) he said 'wow- I feel like we just got engaged all over again!') LOL That's how much I loved the place... It's not your traditional 'catering hall' and that's what I loved... Once we had the tasting- he loved it too!!! Our family had mixed feeling that there are no grounds, it's 'not traditional' but we are paying for it and LOVE IT...

jcslady Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:48 PM

Re: oh no...

are you kidding that place is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cami-girl Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:49 PM

Re: oh no...

If u and FH like the place then u should stay with it - it is your day.

What did they mean by not having a connection to it...

rkl1130 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:49 PM

Re: oh no...

Go with what you AND your FH feel. We looked at about a dozen places and one would like a place, but the other didn't. We finally walked into one and we both loved it.

Discount what others say about your venue--it's yours and your Fh's day, so it should be what you both feel good about.

anneandchris Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:53 PM

Re: oh no...

do you live on LI now? IMO its up to you and your FH. I have no 'connection' to my RH. It was a place that had what we needed/wanted and has great food.

LoveRocks Posted: Oct 10, 2007 03:56 PM

Re: oh no...

I'm sorry that FHs family is making you second guess your RH. Bourne is fabulous and I don't think its necessary to have a 'connection' to your RH. I'm actually not even sure what they mean by that.

If YOU and FH want your wedding there, I wouldn't change a thing. They next time they book a party it can be at a venue THEY have a connection to.

SFBride2Be Posted: Oct 10, 2007 04:02 PM

Re: oh no...

I guess they mean since we dont live there - like we dont know the area - we are from NJ/Upstate NY and now live in California

but i guess they feel (FH included) that we could find a place in an area that has meaning to us.

I dont know - i guess i defiintely want him to be happy but I do LOVE the Bourne

minibride08 Posted: Oct 10, 2007 04:09 PM

Re: oh no...

Do you have any connection to LI? Any family there? If you have most family in NJ or upstate NY and you live in CA- this logistically would be like a 'destination' wedding. Oakdale is pretty far out east.... I understand their thoughts now. Maybe look around and keep an open mind? If you don't find anything and still love Bourne, then keep the date there...

SFBride2Be Posted: Oct 10, 2007 04:44 PM

Re: oh no...

i agree- but i definitely fell in love with the Bourne when I saw it and it was exactly what we had wanted. I dont know - before we booked the Bourne, we literally looked EVERYWHERE in CT, NJ, and NY and the only other place i found even remotely close to it was booked.

Then when I said - well im not sure we can find another place that will be available - he said - 'well we can always change the date'

ahhhhhhhhhhh i cant even imagine having to go through this whole process again

well keep your fingers crossed - we are going to talk about it tonight....