Ok need to vent and need opinions....Long

Last night, FH and I went to FIL's for dinner for my bday. We started talking about the wedding, of course. Now, let me preface this by saying that FIL's have been nothing but wonderful throughout this whole thing, and haven't really given me any problems at all. Nor do I think they have any intentions of giving me any problems. They really are great and I am very lucky and fortunate.

Ok. So we start talking about the INFAMOUS TIME GAP. My ceremony is at 3. It's a ceremony only, no mass. CH starts at 7:30. I can't change the times because my church won't move up the mass, and there's a wedding at my RH before me. We will probably leave the church between 4 and 4:15 after receiving line and pics. My plan was as follows:

FH and I and entire BP go in Limobus to take pics in between.
My parents, their dates (divorced), and FIL's go in the Navigator and come with us to take pics.

Guests find something to do with themselves in between....either go back to the hotel or go home.

Well FIL's feel they need to give people a place to go in between. First they mentioned their house.....I said they probably won't want to deal with that. So then they said maybe go back to the hotel with the rest of the guests and basically be on 'clean up' duty and make sure everyone has somewhere to go. On top of that, they offered to put money down so that people could get some cocktails at the hotel lounge. But this also means that FIL's would go to the hotel WITH everyone.....which means my parents would have to also, since they're in the same car.

While this is very nice of them and all, I have a few concerns:

1- I don't want FIL's (or my parents for that matter) to feel responsible for anyone or anything that night. I want them to be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy everything

2- FIL's would still have to leave their little shin dig early because they need to be at NRC by 6pm...to take pics, and because we only have the limos til 6.

3- What if MY parents don't want to go back to this thing and would rather come take pics? Then that means they would have to come in the Limobus with FH and I and BP, which I really didn't want (and I'm not getting another car).

4- I know this really is just FFIL trying to help, because that's what he does. He helps and he's a constant 'fixer.' But I almost feel as if he's trying to get out of going to take pictures in between by doing this.


Then of course, we get home last night and I try talking to FH and he doesn't understand my point AT ALL, and then starts yelling at me telling me his dad is just trying to help and if I don't want help because I feel it's going to RUIN my wedding.....then just say so. I never said anything about it ruining the wedding. Oh and yea, that's how I ended my birthday last night.....with FH annoyed with me because I asked his f'ing opinion on this.......

So of course now I can't ask him what he thinks.....so I need your help girls. Am I being totally ridiculous? Should I just have them do this and basically do exactly what I said I wouldn't and make sure that every guest has a place to go during the stupid infamous gap?????