one of my BM

hsacks23r Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:32 AM

one of my BM

Doesn't really seem to be all into it,I know its not her wedding but come on. She rarely calls me and has no input on any thing-- makes me think did I make a mistake????

SIBride06 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:33 AM

Re: one of my BM

I may have made the same mistake

MissingTheBGene Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:34 AM

Re: one of my BM

I think there is always one in the group most of the time. I think if she is pulling her responsibilities, like being involved in the planning and responding to the MOH and helping out, it should be okay. If she's not doing anywhere near what your other girls are doing, then I would worry. Just some girls handle things differently...try not to worry, unless she's not helping your other girls at all.

MissingTheBGene Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:35 AM

Re: one of my BM

Posted by SIBride06

I may have made the same mistake

In regards to your situation, my dear, you need to give her the boot! I'm so mad for you!

Jennie0898 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:38 AM

Re: one of my BM

Awww try not to sweat it too much. As a former BM and now a bride I can honestly say it is such a huge difference. To us this is our LIFE - it's our WEDDING!! To them, it's a special day but it's not the same. Think of it this way, you picked this girl to be a BM for a reason... Maybe give her a call and get together but not talk about wedding stuff. Just regular girl stuff and maybe that will bring her around.

Good Luck!!! Sending hugs...

JessicaM. Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:41 AM

Re: one of my BM

If this sounds harsh, I don't mean it to, but I have to ask- why did you ask your friend to be in your bridal party? do you need her to call you all the time and ask how things are going? If you need a lot of input from others, you should surround yourself with people that give it. otherwise, do you think you are expecting a little more interest than we as brides have a right to?

personally, I really don't need my girls calling me to find out about the wedding- if I need something from them, I call them- but I don't expect them to call me out of the clear blue sky to find out if I've decided what color ribbon to use or something like that.

we have to remember that though they care about us generally- we care WAY more about our weddings than ANYONE else EVER could...they are busy people with lives of their own. I have tried remember that.

JessicaM. Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:42 AM

Re: one of my BM

Posted by MissingTheBGene

Posted by SIBride06

I may have made the same mistake

In regards to your situation, my dear, you need to give her the boot! I'm so mad for you!

ditto Janie...your situation is completely different! she's lucky you don't give her the boot directly to her a$$!

MissingTheBGene Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:44 AM

Re: one of my BM

I think Jenn and Jess really summed it up well.

Kim51103 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:45 AM

Re: one of my BM

I had the same prob....when she accepted in oct, she was very excited,,,,now shes pregnant, and her bf bought them a new house, and i ordered the dresses this weekend, and she refused to talk to me...and told me she couldnt come up with 100 dollars....unfort there was nothing i could do....so shes not in the party....

hsacks23r Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:46 AM

Re: one of my BM

I totaly understand that its not her wedding and that people are busy and have there own lives but come on--I guess I shall see as time gets closer-- I can give her the boot

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:47 AM

Re: one of my BM

I agree with Jessica and Jenn, too.
Also you should keep in mind that your wedding is next May - once you hit February and March 2006 and you're swamped with tons of little things to do, that's when you should definitely get calls offering help or support.

Noiva06 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:57 AM

Re: one of my BM

Posted by MissingTheBGene

I think Jenn and Jess really summed it up well.

I completely agree... Both took the words right out of my mouth.

Jennie0898 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:59 AM

Re: one of my BM

Posted by MissingTheBGene

I think Jenn and Jess really summed it up well.

Hey MissingTheBGene was I more SUBTLE this time???

LMFitz Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:14 PM

Re: one of my BM

Posted by JessicaM.

If this sounds harsh, I don't mean it to, but I have to ask- why did you ask your friend to be in your bridal party? do you need her to call you all the time and ask how things are going? If you need a lot of input from others, you should surround yourself with people that give it. otherwise, do you think you are expecting a little more interest than we as brides have a right to?

personally, I really don't need my girls calling me to find out about the wedding- if I need something from them, I call them- but I don't expect them to call me out of the clear blue sky to find out if I've decided what color ribbon to use or something like that.

I SO agree with you!

CalJoe0124 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:20 PM

Re: one of my BM

Oh no hang in there ladies, I hope it all works out for you!!

CaseyVM214 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:22 PM

Re: one of my BM

What are the BM suppose to do?

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:27 PM

Re: one of my BM

Yes I hear what you girls are saying, but dont we want our BMs to be happy for us? I mean I talk to my girls all the time bc they are my FRIENDS and I try not to talk to them about the wedding all the time (although it is very hard), they do ask me about it and it makes me happy that they're interested...of course Im not going to call them about ribbon colors or invitation font etc etc but I definitely want them to show the interest and be excited for me...

AmyMarie Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:38 PM

Re: one of my BM

I think I am in the minority here, but try to rememeber that your wedding is almost a year away, and that some people might have other things on there mind. I know it is difficult to think that it isn't all about you at a time like this, but it is YOUR wedding day..look at you FI and realize that the two of you is what it is all about.
Support is great and of course she should be ineterested, but some people find it hard to be 100% gaga over the wedding.
All the girls I chose are my friends and I love them and even though one or two has a pretty busy schedule and doesn't call or seem to be all over me for details..I would never think I made a mistake. I also chose 3 of my sisters who have a combined total of 8 kids between them so I am not hearing much from them.
My suggestion is that you remember the reason you chose her and feel happy that she will be there to witness your big day!

natiepie1028 Posted: Jul 21, 2005 12:43 PM

Re: one of my BM

I completely understand. My MOH never calls me at all and if she does its all about her. She never asks if I need help or asks about anything that has to do with the wedding. I dont mind it much, but what I do mind is that she hasn't even called my mom, who, mind you, is paying for the whole shower. The least she can do, since my mom is saving her loads of money, is to call her and ask her is she needs help with anything.

I havent even seen her in months either. Whatever. Now i know who my real friends are. The girl i had to think real hard about asking to be in my wedding is the most helpful and the one i see most often. Go figure. Obviously, she is, i feel a better friend.