my FW and I are budgeting for 200 people. Pretty decent sized wedding, right? (though some folks might say, 'for a Jewish wedding? So small?) We're a little behind schedule, and are pulling together everyone's addresses for the STD postcards. My mom emails a few of our cousins to gently remind them to get email addresses. To keep the size of the wedding from going out of control, for my family, we decided to limit who were inviting to first cousins (both mine and my parents). The wife of one of the first cousins sent back an email with their address... and the addresses of their children, my second cousins.
Don't get me wrong; i genuinely like them. They're good kids. But we're already going absolutely crazy with the guest list. Without question or hesitation, the hardest part of this whole thing for us has not been the caterer, the shul, the officiants, the band, the dj, the flowers... it's been the guest list. How do we squeeze to decent sized families and the many great friends we got down to that (and to you brides and grooms that are doing 100 or 150, G-d bless you!)?
I'm sure my cousin meant nothing by sending the addresses except she thought the kids might be invited. I don't want to be rude; I'd really love for them to come... but there are 15-20 other second cousins that I'd love to be there as well, and frankly, we really can't afford that.
Is there a precendent for sending a note explaining the situation? Is that rude? I don't want to set off any family wars here. Should I just ignore their addresses and make like I never got them? Should I sa something? What do y'all think?
--the stealth groom giving meat eating, sports watching, whiskey drinking men a voice on liweddings since 10/06
pixiechickie
Posted:
Member since
Re: OY! Not enough room for everyone (short rant)
Firstly I would say HOLD OUT ON THE STD'S!!! I didnt send them on purpose so that people would decline! I hope it works out to my benifit. Those that are close to you that should be at your wedding will know the date. Those that you dont may possibly plan something. (Hope so! ). In addition, people in my family that are 'expected' to be invited just simply arent. I cant afford it. They'll get over it. If I never really see them its no skin off my back. HTH. I feel your pain.
