please cheer me up-with update

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

Regardless of this, I don't want to have conflict with his family, so I'm even considering just sucking it up and maybe sending a card or flowers but I'm not sure what to say in the card though.

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I know that you're upset and don't like conflict, but I would NOT send a card and flowers. That is just giving her the message that she can act badly all the time without any consequences. You don't want to set a precedence that everytime SHE is upset and makes a scene she gets flowers and an apology.

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

Regardless of this, I don't want to have conflict with his family, so I'm even considering just sucking it up and maybe sending a card or flowers but I'm not sure what to say in the card though.

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I know that you're upset and don't like conflict, but I would NOT send a card and flowers. That is just giving her the message that she can act badly all the time without any consequences. You don't want to set a precedence that everytime SHE is upset and makes a scene she gets flowers and an apology.

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I agree, no flowers for the b**ch. She should be sending YOU flowers. You have to stand your ground IMO

Good luck

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

Regardless of this, I don't want to have conflict with his family, so I'm even considering just sucking it up and maybe sending a card or flowers but I'm not sure what to say in the card though.

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I know that you're upset and don't like conflict, but I would NOT send a card and flowers. That is just giving her the message that she can act badly all the time without any consequences. You don't want to set a precedence that everytime SHE is upset and makes a scene she gets flowers and an apology.

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I agree, no flowers for the b**ch. She should be sending YOU flowers. You have to stand your ground IMO

Good luck

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I could not have said this any better. If you give in this will be it for the rest of your life with her. She will take every chance she gets to disrespect u this way.

FH's mother has no business telling him not to marry you. And, not for nothing, FH should have ripped her one for even saying it. You are going to be his WIFE and should come FIRST! He should defend you no matter what and tell his mother where to go! Sorry, but I feel strongly about that.

And, do NOT send her flowers or a card. She should be apologizing to you and FH.

I agree. You should not be the one apologizing. Give her time to cool off and realize she acted like an A S S.
Because any sane person would realize this.

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Posted by enjft

I could not have said this any better. If you give in this will be it for the rest of your life with her. She will take every chance she gets to disrespect u this way.

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I agree. You don't want to start a bad pattern now where she is a Biatch and you end up apologizing (when you did nothing wrong). You will end up with a MIL who thinks she can run your life and treat you like crap - which is NOT acceptable.

Oh god honey you have so much going on! I feel terrbly for you i really dont even know what to say .......

OMG!!! Don't send flowers, giver her some time to cool off.... People say and do things they don't mean in the heat of the moment. I'm sure she woke up this morning and realized things got out of hand yesterday. Talk to FH tonight and see how things are at his house... But it sounds like there has been a misunderstanding on some level. Why would she react so strongly like that? For her to want to cancel the reception hall is extreme esp. over an argument with FH's brother? When she cools off, FH should talk to her and make sure everyone is on the same page.

I agree do not apologize in any form.

If she feels that she doesn't want to pay for the wedding and doesn't get over it, if you can afford it just pay it.

If this was my situation and she did this to me.

Of course when she came to her senses I would forgive her but I would honeslty pay for the rest of her portion of the hall and have FH tell her to just give a gift. Then she can never even say chidlish things like 'I am calling the wedding off'. I can't believe she had the nerve to say that! Is your parents paying the other half? She has no right to just cancel a wedding when she isn't paying for the entire wedding... I am sure she was just saying it because she was pissed off.

FH needs to really stick up for you and himself.

Why is his mother butting into your arguments, it's none of her business!!!

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Posted by enjft

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by glinda_goodwitch

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

Regardless of this, I don't want to have conflict with his family, so I'm even considering just sucking it up and maybe sending a card or flowers but I'm not sure what to say in the card though.

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I know that you're upset and don't like conflict, but I would NOT send a card and flowers. That is just giving her the message that she can act badly all the time without any consequences. You don't want to set a precedence that everytime SHE is upset and makes a scene she gets flowers and an apology.

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I agree, no flowers for the b**ch. She should be sending YOU flowers. You have to stand your ground IMO

Good luck

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I could not have said this any better. If you give in this will be it for the rest of your life with her. She will take every chance she gets to disrespect u this way.

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The reason why she did this to you is because you didn't stick up for yourself. trust me I 'm the last one to deal with such a conflict but when push comes to shove, you have to kick@ss!

thanks guys, venting hre helped a lot and really cleared my head.

I told FH that I'm not going to apologize when I didnt do anything wrong, its one thing for her to be mad, but I didnt do anything towards her so she had no right to call anything off, or have that loom over our heads.

I told him he has to take intitative and not wait around to see what his mommy wants to do.

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

thanks guys, venting hre helped a lot and really cleared my head.

I told FH that I'm not going to apologize when I didnt do anything wrong, its one thing for her to be mad, but I didnt do anything towards her so she had no right to call anything off, or have that loom over our heads.

I told him he has to take intitative and not wait around to see what his mommy wants to do.

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Good for you! You tell him! and stick your guns! Your right, not her! she should apologize to you!

I would DEFINITELY not send flowers or a card...that is telling her that she 'won' and giving her an open invitation to act awful to you anytime she feels like it. No one says that you have to be super close to your inlaws...

Listen this is so sad and yet sooo familar. It sounds to me that if he has to see what his mom wants to do first before going through with the wedding then this woman is going to have alot of influence in future decisions that should be made between you two only. For her to come down the street and throw your things at you and tell her son to take the ring back because her son doesnt know how to act is crazy.

So how are you guys doing? Did you talk some more?