PLEASE HELP- BATCHLORE PARTY HELL STORY!

this makes me want to vomit and makes me even happier than i am marrying my FH.

i think you should get off LIW and deal with your very serious issues in your relationship.

what kind of advice do you expect to get about this??
you know what you have to do... get the TRUTH.

sorry if this was harsh - but you need a reality check. you have 4 days.....

That sounds suspicious, maybe one of the guys at the parties girlfriend knows cuz they told her what happened and shes tryin to let you know or someone there feels his actions was inapproriate so they are telling you but dont want to seem like a snitch. Guys are like that. To be honest why the heck would a stripper need to take a shower? The fact he lied with the first question you asked him you should know. You always trust your instincts its always right!

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Posted by Sweeteey51

That sounds suspicious, maybe one of the guys at the parties girlfriend knows cuz they told her what happened and shes tryin to let you know or someone there feels his actions was inapproriate so they are telling you but dont want to seem like a snitch. Guys are like that. To be honest why the heck would a stripper need to take a shower? The fact he lied with the first question you asked him you should know. You always trust your instincts its always right!

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Yes, but what if 'the girl' was suspicious herself and was looking for info? Think about it, your BF/FH/DH comes home from that sort of party and tells you 'yeah, everyone got bj's and showers but me', you might be a little suspicious, no?

Then again, I trust my FH I would actually believe him, based on past reactions to and discussions on said subject.

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Posted by krislee316

if your getting married in 4 days why does ur profile say october fishy fishy

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THANK YOU!!!

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Posted by Colette

I'm sorry, I'm just not buying this.... And whoever is emailing/calling you knows something about the night's antics, could it be the gf/wife of one of the guys who attended???

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that was my thought exactly. this doesn't sound good to me at all i'm so sorry for what you're going through, rachelle

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Posted by KPetekie


You should ask yourself a few questions before you start getting all riled up. 1) Are any of his friends in love with you (they could have sent you the message in hopes of you running to them)?

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This is what my FH said too!!!!!

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Posted by KPetekie

And remember girls, a good back scrubbing by a naked stripper isn't cheating.

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James, this is an EXCELLENT POINT along with numerous others your reply!!! Always great to have a little male input!!!

wow---just the amount of crazy threads lately and this is another one...makes me fee like this:

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Posted by KPetekie

Hello,

My name is James. i am a future husband getting married next year and my fiance read your post to me so i figured i would stick my two sense in, even though this could get me crucified by my comrades in the male gender. It all pretty much boils down to a saying that my grandfather told me when i was just a boy. 'If you have nothing to hide, don't hide it...' or was it 'Strippers only should take showers in your house if they were sprayed down with condiments.' It was a long time ago so i don't really remember the exact wording. Now lets just let that sit for a second...now take a deep breathe. Ok let's break down the events...so he had a stripper, denied it at first most likely because he knew your reaction. But he ended up confessing which is most likely because that little angel on his shoulder that was placed there by his mother when he was 5 years old. I would know, i got my little annoying angel at about 4 1/2 years. To this day, i still can't tell a lie, THANKS MOM.

I am going to play both sides of the gender plate here though and say, we get mad to try to cover up the fact we did something wrong. We can deny and deny in the hopes that you will let it go, forget it (which we know will never happen, my fiance brings up crap from my past that she wasn't even around for), or try to avoid the topic all together.
You should ask yourself a few questions before you start getting all riled up. 1) Are any of his friends in love with you (they could have sent you the message in hopes of you running to them)? 2) are any of his friends dating one of your good friends (they could have sent that message trying to protect you)? 3) As he ever gotten mad like this in the past and the conclusion ended up being he was telling the truth (maybe he isn't lieing)? 4) Why the hell was a stripped showering at the house? doesn't she have her own shower (unless they used honey or something sticky, she could have just left)?

I think you should get a little more sherlock homesy and little less worried. I doubt he cheated on you though. i would hope that the person you were dating for the past 5 years had a shred of decency in him to not shower with strippers 4 days before your wedding. I don't think you should let your love be tainted by a another naked women though, unless he slept with her. I guess the big question is, DO YOU TRUST HIM??? That is what it all boils down too.

And remember girls, a good back scrubbing by a naked stripper isn't cheating.

OK OK, you probably all hate me now. i am just kidding, you should grill that SOB and find out the truth. That sh*t is important and you need to find out before you make get married in 4 days.

The saying really was ' if you have nothing to hide, then don't hide hide it'

Love,

James

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It's really nice to hear a guys point of view on this...
i've been reading everyones posts and i think what it comes down to is the amount of trust that you have with each other. i can (though i don't agree) understand the reason for lying at first about having strippers there, he didn't want to make you upset knowing your thoughts on the whole situation. But, most men see it as a rite of passage so sometimes as much as it pains us we have to look the other way.

However, not knowing where the email and phone call came from it's a little hard to know you can trust your source of information!

I think that it's imperative whether you are getting married in 4 days or in 400 to have a very serious and very calm conversation (not argument) about the whole thing. Tell him that eventhough you trust him, it's really hard with the things that have been told to you.

The key to a good relationship is open communication, if he can't be honest with you now, will he be honest with you later?

The last thing is you have to ask yourself, if this really did happen, and you hear it from him...is this something that will erk you forever or something you can get past.

I hope it all works out.

Can he explain why his friends are calling and emailing you?? Thats just bizarre. If I were in a situation like this...I would turn to my guy friends for help and advice. Even still...I would prob be flipped out because of 1) the lie 2) the friends calling 3) the wedding is so close.

OK - I am really trying to put myself in your shoes here. I know you love your FH but you have to question why his friends are calling and telling you these things and the whole shower thing is just sketchy.

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Posted by Jenn04

Can he explain why his friends are calling and emailing you?? Thats just bizarre. If I were in a situation like this...I would turn to my guy friends for help and advice. Even still...I would prob be flipped out because of 1) the lie 2) the friends calling 3) the wedding is so close.

OK - I am really trying to put myself in your shoes here. I know you love your FH but you have to question why his friends are calling and telling you these things and the whole shower thing is just sketchy.

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She's not sure who it was from though..they've been secretive and won't give their name.. so she's not sure who is calling and emailing her..

I feel so bad..I don't really know what I would do except postpone until I knew the truth..

did he get head or not..did he practically F her or not did he shower with her all not!! Crazy allegations!!!

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Posted by Sweets14

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Posted by krislee316

if your getting married in 4 days why does ur profile say october fishy fishy

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I would stab his a@@ and then pick up a dictionary to learn how to spell 'batchlore' the correct way!! I think it's bs but very entertaining!!

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DITTO!

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Jenn04

Can he explain why his friends are calling and emailing you?? Thats just bizarre. If I were in a situation like this...I would turn to my guy friends for help and advice. Even still...I would prob be flipped out because of 1) the lie 2) the friends calling 3) the wedding is so close.

OK - I am really trying to put myself in your shoes here. I know you love your FH but you have to question why his friends are calling and telling you these things and the whole shower thing is just sketchy.

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She's not sure who it was from though..they've been secretive and won't give their name.. so she's not sure who is calling and emailing her..

I feel so bad..I don't really know what I would do except postpone until I knew the truth..

did he get head or not..did he practically F her or not did he shower with her all not!! Crazy allegations!!!

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What I'm still trying to understand is how an e-mail can be anonymous. Doesn't every e-mail have a name attached?

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Jenn04

Can he explain why his friends are calling and emailing you?? Thats just bizarre. If I were in a situation like this...I would turn to my guy friends for help and advice. Even still...I would prob be flipped out because of 1) the lie 2) the friends calling 3) the wedding is so close.

OK - I am really trying to put myself in your shoes here. I know you love your FH but you have to question why his friends are calling and telling you these things and the whole shower thing is just sketchy.

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She's not sure who it was from though..they've been secretive and won't give their name.. so she's not sure who is calling and emailing her..

I feel so bad..I don't really know what I would do except postpone until I knew the truth..

did he get head or not..did he practically F her or not did he shower with her all not!! Crazy allegations!!!

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What I'm still trying to understand is how an e-mail can be anonymous. Doesn't every e-mail have a name attached?

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Not if they made up a name though.

Let's discuss the mysterious phone call. Was it a man or a woman. Makes a difference IMO.

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by autumnbride10

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Jenn04

Can he explain why his friends are calling and emailing you?? Thats just bizarre. If I were in a situation like this...I would turn to my guy friends for help and advice. Even still...I would prob be flipped out because of 1) the lie 2) the friends calling 3) the wedding is so close.

OK - I am really trying to put myself in your shoes here. I know you love your FH but you have to question why his friends are calling and telling you these things and the whole shower thing is just sketchy.

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She's not sure who it was from though..they've been secretive and won't give their name.. so she's not sure who is calling and emailing her..

I feel so bad..I don't really know what I would do except postpone until I knew the truth..

did he get head or not..did he practically F her or not did he shower with her all not!! Crazy allegations!!!

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What I'm still trying to understand is how an e-mail can be anonymous. Doesn't every e-mail have a name attached?

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Not if they made up a name though.

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But can't you e-mail yahoo or gmail, and say it's spam and then find out who sent it?